I've suffered from quite the broken heart for a while and I didn't think I was ever going to get over him. Every second I spent thinking about him drove me deeper into sadness I didn't think I would ever overcome. It hit me when I realized he didn't see me or value me the way I saw and valued him. Blocking him never felt so bittersweet. You really can't be just friends with someone you caught hella feelings for. Maybe for some of you it works, but it's too toxic for me.
The weight of all that anger and sadness left, and it was one of the best feelings ever. Granted, it took time and it still does, but I'm getting over him, and I get better every single day.
Did I sit and wish I had someone by my side to do cute summer things with? Absolutely. Did I have the chance for that and ruin it? Yup. But I'm so glad it was ruined because I'm so much better off doing me. I still see little things that make me think of him and I always will. I see a girl with a guy just like him doing the same things I wish I could have done with him and that totally sucks, but every day, thoughts like that get less and less.
I'm thinking of myself, and how far I've come, and can't believe that I'm as happy as I am this summer.
I've hung out with my best friends and soaked up the healing and happy rays of the sun at least once a week. I refuse to see any guys now because I need this time to do me. I didn't want to be single, but now that I've been given the choice to find a guy or do me, the choice is going to be me.
It's weird because once you start focusing on yourself, guys suddenly want to slide into your DMs and try and stray you from the path of self-love and singledom.
Yes, this has been the summer of bikini pics on my end, and no, I'm not thirsty for likes like half of you salty, rude, slut-shaming people think I am. I can actually post a bikini pic because I want to and because I'm SINGLE. Of course, if I was with a guy, he'd have to put up or shut up when it comes to Instagram but that's a whole other article.
The summer of single me has been amazing so far. I've traveled to the West Coast and seen amazing things I never imagined. I've turned down guys without a second thought because I don't have time for anyone who wants to play games and disrespect me. I'm empowered to be who I want and do what I want, and I could never have reached this point if I started talking to someone again.
I don't know when I'll be ready to put myself back out there. As of now, I'm enjoying the journey God has planned. While other people are in shitty relationships because they're afraid to be alone, I'm being alone and loving every second of it.