I got lunch with an old friend recently, and while we were talking, she brought up how she had just broken up with her boyfriend and was currently trying to get back into the dating game. She talked about how she didn't like being single and was practically trying everything she could to start seeing people: going on tinder, reaching out to old guys who had been interested in her while she was in a relationship, etc.
It got to a point in our conversation when I simply looked at her and asked why she wanted to be in a relationship so bad.
She stared at me, obviously confused by my question, and continued on about how good dating feels and how being alone is one of the worst feelings she's ever felt.
To be fair with her, she had just broken up with her boyfriend - but even so, I've noticed some friends who have long been single, they are always actively trying to date someone new or get into a relationship.
But why?
I just started dating someone, but when I was single, I loved every second it.
Sure, there are moments when you see other people who are in relationships on Instagram, and you get a little lonely and jealous - but being single is just as good as being in a relationship.
In fact, I believe everyone needs to be single for a decent amount of time in their adult lives in order to figure out who the fuck they are.
So, here are some reasons why I believe you should appreciate being single while you still can.
1. Relationships can be stressful
Whatever you see from those couples on Instagram or your friends in relationships, you're honestly seeing just the surface. Relationships are a lot of work and require time and effort to keep them alive and afloat. Also, fighting can be the absolute worst.
2. You can do whatever you want whenever you want
When you're single, you don't have no boyfriend or girlfriend telling you what to do or when to meet them. You can go on vacation by yourself and not even worry about inviting your significant other. Want to go to New York for a weekend getaway, go ahead? You ain't got no one telling you otherwise.
3. You learn how to fully take care of yourself
Being by yourself forces you to learn skills that allow you to grow and take care of yourself. Don't know how to cook? You don't need to rely on your significant other. Simply pick up a cookbook and start teaching yourself. Aren't super happy? Watch a few episodes of The Office and laugh your ass off!
4. You gain a new perspective on everything
When you're by yourself, you see things that are often hard to see when you're in a relationship. For instance, it can be hard to see that a relationship is toxic while you're in it, but on the outside, it's a lot easier to see the red flags.
5. Girls night is every night
Treat yourself. Sometimes your girlfriends need a little TLC as well, and sometimes that can be swept under the rug by a relationship. But when you're single, take advantage of the endless nights of fun, wine, and girl talk.
6. No settling
I've noticed a lot of people get into relationships with people who aren't quite right for them, simply because they are afraid of being alone. When you're by yourself, you start to learn what you truly desire in a significant other, and it makes it easier for when you are eventually in a relationship to find those red flags.
7. Shaving is completely optional
You can be as hairy as your heart desires, because no one's going to see except for you. No need to spend half an hour in the shower trying to get those smooth legs - unless you really want that for you.
8. One less distraction
Whether from your career or any other life goals, a relationship taking up so much time that it can ultimately just end up being a distraction for getting you to wherever you want to inevitably get. That's one of the reasons more and more people are settling down with a significant other later on in their lives - so they can be established in their careers enough to be able to focus on those relationships fully.
9. More time for activities that actually interest you
Another thing you can spend your time on besides a relationship is doing things you actually enjoy. I was in a relationship for almost two years, and at the end of it, I realized I completely forgot my love of writing. Since then, I've started writing for the Odyssey and loving every second of it - because now I have the time and energy for it.
10. You can build on the other friendships in your life
With all this extra time, you can truly focus on building all of your friendships with everyone (or at least some of those) around you.
11. No jealousy
Being with someone romantically always has the possibility of bringing the green monster into play. Jealousy is a gross feeling that no one wants to feel, and when you see your boyfriend talking to that girl he told you not to worry about, it doesn't feel good when that jealousy starts growing.
12. No guilt
If you end up going a little crazy on a night out or eating a few extra cookies, there's no one that can make you feel guilty for doing any of it! Feel free to make out with as many people as you want on the dancefloor. Go ahead and finish the cookie jar. Treat yo'self!
13. After enough time, you realize you don't need a relationship to be happy
At the end of the day, relationships can take away from your own self-care and love, and it can be easy to forget that you can be as happy single as you are in a relationship. Being single is some of the best times of your life where you can be free and do as you please. You are as happy as you make it.
