We all know the saying, “before you can love someone, you must first love yourself.” I will be the first person to admit that I have struggled with this kind of self-love for a large portion of my life. I have struggled with understanding who I am, what makes me happy and how I will become the person I want to be. However, this is to end those doubts, those questions, those hesitations about giving myself anything less than the world. I am thankful for the times that I have come to this realization, and I hope that sharing my experiences reminds everyone that loving themselves is just as important as sharing that love with others.
In the summer of 2015, I had the best month of my life. Before working at a summer camp, I had a month of freedom, so I packed up my car and as an impromptu decision went down to the beach and looked for a place to stay. Some call it luck, but I think God found me a place that summer for more than just shelter, but the opportunity to discover myself. I was lucky to stumble upon a kind old man who rented an apartment to me for what I could afford and I was able to live less than a block from the beach.
Most people dream of an opportunity to have this freedom, but I never realized how much I needed that month to discover who I am and to also begin a new relationship with myself. I learned that nothing makes me happier than waking up early to watch the sunrise on the beach every single morning. I never realized that each day you can see something new in the colorful sky. I realized that I felt invincible every time I would run for hours up and down the side of the boardwalk listening to the ocean’s waves crash against the shore. I learned that I could find solace in the warm sand wrapping around my toes and covering my skin. I discovered that not only was there a place for me to be in this world, but the beach was a home that comforted me and welcomed me into a safe destination for myself.
While I could write pages just about my love for the shore, I was also able to take myself on dates and learn about the woman I wanted to be. I remembered how I could stay inside all day with a good book, a cup of tea, and a dimly lit candle, and get lost immediately. I reminisced about how I learned to cook at a younger age with my mother and finally put those skills to test when I would make new combinations for dinner that nourished my body. I reconnected with the present and got lost in the daily interactions I would have with a new soul, and I reminded myself how much we can learn from everyone we meet. I spent so much time with myself that I realized the entire time I previously doubted who I was, underneath it all there was a kind-hearted, loving, fun, intelligent, patient, selfless, hard-working, dedicated, and beautiful woman who deserves the world, especially from herself.
With that being said, I want to encourage anyone who ever feels lonely, or isolated, or discouraged, to remind yourself that you are not alone. Even if you cannot see it, but every time you look into a mirror you are seeing a beautiful soul that deserves the utmost love and attention. You are not only your own best friend, but the love of your life, so take care of that person just like you would for anyone else you adore. I know it's easier said than done, and I know I have forgotten to do it too, but loving yourself is the best decision I have ever made and you should do the same if you are neglecting yourself. Trust me, the best time of my life has been when I have been single--wait, scratch that--when I have been dating myself. I am not lonely, but with my favorite person around.
