This Odyssey article has been trending recently and it implored me to respond, so if you want context, give the other article a read.
In the article, the writer explains that once you have sex for the first time, you form an emotional bond with the other person that can never be broken. You leave a piece of yourself with them that you can never get back, so when you end up with the person you're supposed to be with forever, you will never be able to give them all of yourself because you already gave bits to other people you had premarital sex with.
Though I believe that everyone's decision about premarital sex is valid and if someone wants to wait until marriage that is completely fine, I don't think it's anyone's right to tell others what they should do with their sex lives.
Yes, it is true that sex is deeply personal and, as the article repeatedly states, "you never forget your first time."
However, humans rarely ever stop doing things after the first time. And it is deeply personal, but, for example, anyone who has had more than one best friend in their lifetime knows that you can leave parts of you with people that you have never been sexually involved with. But does that mean we stop making friends? Of course not!
Also, the idea that having sex with someone leaves a piece of yourself with them that you can never get back is one of the most ridiculous things I have heard in my life.
To quote the iconic Disney Channel movie "Twitches," "Love is infinite. You can always make more."
Giving love to someone in the past does not take away love from someone else in the future. People can get over exes and, more likely than not, the person you were in one relationship is not the same person you are in a new one. People grow and change and leave parts of themselves in the past where they belong. This includes past relationships (platonic, romantic, and sexual).
Frankly, sex is overrated (especially first times). In many people's experiences, it is awkward at first. In most cases, it doesn't bond people for life.
In fact, if you want to go more technical, its only purpose is for our species to survive (making the sentence in the article where the writer states that marriage was created to be between spouses very incorrect, but that's another story).
So if you want to have sex with 20 people, go for it! It is your choice and you will not be less whole or less lovable. If you want to wait until marriage, great for you!
The problem occurs when people push their ideas down others' throats.
People's sexual experiences are for them and them alone. No one needs someone on the internet telling them that doing a normal thing (that many people have done) is shameful. Your life, your choice.
