We all have regrets and we all have made mistakes. But, which is which? The truth is, it doesn't matter. If you've ever thought to yourself, "I shouldn't have said that" or "why in the world did I ever do that", you are not the only one. Whether it is the boy you dated in high school, the hurtful words you said out of anger, or the ugly dress you wore on the first day of school, you did it and you said it. The fact of the matter is it happened.
Recently, I have found myself looking back on times in my life and I know there are other people out there that do the same thing. The issue among many of us is that we take things for granted. We tend to look back on our mistakes and think about what we should have done or what we could have done. But why don't we look back and smile, rather than shake our heads? The boy you dated in high school — he taught you that not everything is forever.
The hurtful words, proved that you have a temper that maybe you should learn to control. And the ugly dress, well, let's just say it was a bad purchase. The bottom line is, there is a silver lining to every bad or unfortunate thing in life, so search for it. And when you find it, hold onto it.
The dirty laundry you have, I have some too. The skeletons in your closet, I have one or two. The secrets you hold, I probably hold some as well. Your struggle is no different from the next person's. We walk around thinking that our stories, our pasts, are worse than everyone else's; and we have the right to think so because we lived it. You lived through an abusive childhood, I lived with depression, and the girl next to us in class lived with both. So what makes us different?
What makes each of us different is our outlook. Do you look at things positively, or negatively? Do you strive to change what you can, or leave it alone because it happened that way for a reason? The thing is, you could do both. As we grow and experience life, our outlooks change. The reason for this has to do with our experiences. What we go through in life molds us into our present self. And the experiences we have now, will shape us into our future selves. The purpose of all of this is to show that we have control over who we become.
There is no way that our pasts can define us. You're here now because your past did not bring you down, because you made a choice to keep going. So the next time you make a mistake, or wish you could have done something different, remind yourself of this: Life is filled with ups and downs, and things happen. But the way you come back from them is what defines you.
If you can think of this saying when you experience hardship, you will be helping to build a better version of yourself. By discovering this concept, I was personally able to thank my own past for what it has taught me and for who it has made me today. I am not ashamed of my past, my choices or my thoughts. I believe that the challenges I faced happened for a reason because I was meant to get to where I am today by taking that route. I was meant to watch someone close to me die from pediatric cancer before they reached age 6.
I was meant to become severely injured and let go of my decade-long career as a dancer and gymnast. I was meant to go on to high school and suffer through social issues and hide behind a camera as the athletic photographer. Those issues were meant to have me develop and continue to battle anxiety. I was meant to be in a toxic relationship and fear letting go of it. I was meant to experience all of this, and I am thankful for it.
My story is my story, and it is there to allow me to reflect upon it. You too, should look back on your past, and say thank you. Being thankful for my hardships, for my choices, for my suffering, has taught me strength, dignity and courage. I have been shaped by my experiences. I chose to come back from my past in a positive light by starting new. Seeing someone pass from cancer at such a young age allowed me to raise awareness and funds for others suffering from the illness.
The recovery from my injury has taught me to be driven. The social issues in high school allowed me to leave behind a legacy in my community for local athletes. My ongoing journey of anxiety has taught me about how strong I can be, and that it is okay to show emotion. My toxic relationship showed me the way I want to and deserve to be treated. The positive comebacks have outweighed the negative, but in no way, did the positives allow me to forget about my struggles.
I leave my experience with you to say that there is always room to revamp your life and there is always room to better yourself. At my lowest point, there was nothing but myself preventing me to make a change. Here and now, I say thank you to myself for doing so.
Are you standing in the way of your past and present, and how that will lead to your future? If you have regret, hold grudges or wish some things did not happen, that's on you. But remember, things happen, but you can come back from it, because you will get through it. Don't be stuck in the past, don't resent it. Say "thank you" to it; today is today, so leave yesterday where it is.
