Falling In Love

Falling In Love Isn't The Perfect Fairytale Because Sometimes The Person You Love Forgets To Love You Back

He was the light of my life until suddenly he wasn't.

nyahkite
nyahkite
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Falling in love is painted out to be a perfect fairytale when in reality it's far from it. Falling in love is scary. It's full of uncertainty. It's full of pain. It's full of all the things about love that you would never expect.

Sometimes, you fall in love with someone and they don't love you back. Sometimes you fall in love with someone and you had no intentions of doing so. And sometimes, just sometimes, love works out the way it should.

All in all, falling in love is great, if it's with the right person. Having been someone who fell in love with the wrong person, it's horrible… Trust me. I loved him with every ounce of my being. He was the light of my life until suddenly he wasn't. He broke me in ways I never thought I could've been broken. I stopped being me.

I spent every hour of every single day in bed. I stopped talking to the people I loved the most. I stopped doing what I loved. My whole world stopped and for what reason? The first person I had ever fallen in love with threw me away like I was a burnt out cigarette.

My love for him kept me trapped. I chased him for months after he left me. Sometimes he would come back on his own, sending me a song that made him think of me or asking me what changed since the last time we spoke. The answer was always the same, I was always doing fine or simply just okay.

While I know he did love me at one point, I'm not sure if it's enough for me to keep trying to make something work after it's been broken so many times. I wouldn't take back what I've been through. He taught me how to love. He taught me how to know when it's time to move on.

Loving him wasn't easy. Loving him cost me so many relationships with friends and family. Nobody wanted me to love him, yet I couldn't stop. I wanted his late night conversations. I wanted his early morning wake ups. I wanted him to love me the way I love him, but love doesn't always happen that way.

The thing with loving him is that I know I always will. A piece of me will always belong to him and I think that's the worst part of love. You can try to ignore it, but it will always be there. One day, you'll meet someone, but your love for that first person will always be there. You'll find yourself absentmindedly comparing that first love to whoever comes after them, praying that the next person doesn't hurt you.

Love knows no bounds. It doesn't magically happen and there's no switch to turn it off. Falling for him showed me that love isn't what you expect. It's not magical, kissing in the rain moments that drive it. It's the little things. It's the way someone looks at you. It's the way someone holds you without realizing what they're doing. It's the sound of their voice when they sing you a song without ever breaking eye contact.

Love isn't concrete. There is no set way to love someone. It's up to you to figure out how to show love. It's up to you to learn how the other person shows love. Nothing is set in stone when it comes to love.

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13 Movies Every Couple Needs To Watch Before They Get Married

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories.

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These 13 movies are the foundation of any long-lasting relationship, and I'm not joking. Each movie will show you something new about your partner, and make you ask each other the hard questions. How many kids do you want and how are you going to raise them? What would happen if you got into a horrible accident? Some are less serious though, like what if you could time travel?

I promise that not every one of these movies is a Nicholas Sparks classic, and I also promise that not every movie has Rachel McAdams in it!

1. "The Time Traveler's Wife"

This movie is both heartbreaking and amazing.

2. "About Time"

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories. It's on Netflix right now, so grab some snacks and turn it on!

3. "Like Crazy"

This infamous Tumblr gif came from "Like Crazy." It's about a couple who goes long distance and build their life together. I used to cry every time I watched it, and I'm no crier! It also has the (now famous) Felicity Jones in it.

4. "The Notebook"

Every girl wants this kind of love.

5. "The Last Song"

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are literally married now so if that isn't good luck, I don't know what is.

6. "Safe Haven"

You guessed it! This is another Nicholas Sparks classic. This movie has a dark twist as well, which men will love.

7. "Inside Out"

You may be thinking that this one is a bit weird. Well, this movie will help both you and your partner understand each other's emotions better.

8. "The Choice"

This movie is great because the female lead is feisty and extremely intelligent, which usually doesn't happen in love stories. How do you keep the love alive with a woman who is hard to get, and even harder to keep entertained?

9. "The Longest Ride"

Originally I could not stand the main female lead (Britt Robertson) but now she is in one of my favorite shows (For The People), so I have no choice. This movie had me on the end of my seat, and as a rom-com it is a must.

10. "The Age Of Adaline"

I began loving the name 'Adaline' thanks to this movie. This unlikely love story and self love journey really gets me.

11. "The Vow"

Imagine falling in love with someone and building a life, but an accident forces you to start all over?

12. "Titanic"

If they don't have any sort of reaction to this movie, they are probably not the one for you.

13. "Yours, Mine, & Ours"

Yours, Mine, & Ours is a true classic. Are you Helen or Frank Beardsley? You should figure that out before you tie the knot!

You're welcome!

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Being A Military Wife Is Not The Same As Serving In Active Duty

It's about balance, and it's hard to find a happy medium between serving and supporting your spouse.

yahairas
yahairas
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I enlisted into the United States Air Force as a fresh-faced 18-year-old. I had just graduated high school and never experienced life on my own, away from what I knew and my loved ones and friends. The military was my first legitimate job. Thankfully, I knew independence since I had parents that ensured I knew how to handle myself. That does not mean I joined knowing everything there was to know. Far from it, actually, but that's OK.

My first and only duty station was Malmstrom Air Force Base. Before you think that Malmstrom is some exotic and foreign land, it's definitely not. My first base was in Montana. A very cold and unpredictable climate where you could experience beautiful summer sunshine one day and the next, find yourself running back up to your room to escape from the unexpected blizzard.

I was stationed in Montana as a security forces member (military police) for six very long years. During this time, I met some wonderful people as well as some people I know I would not mind never seeing again. I did a lot of my growing up at this location.

There were hard lessons that needed to be learned and experiences that I had to have in order to know what and what not to do in the future. Security forces is not the easiest or best job in the military. There are more challenges as a security forces member than most careers in the Air Force. There is the very likely chance of deployment into hostile locations where the member will face life and death challenges and have to make quick and ugly decisions and the schedule and duties are not ideal.

However, the good often outweighs the bad. The rewards for surpassing these challenges that seemed insurmountable at the time are some of the best in the world. I can say that the life lessons during my time in the service, no matter how uncomfortable it was at the time, is an experience of a lifetime. These challenges are unknown to the military spouse.

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Not long after separating from the military, I got married. We met while I was still in the military. My husband is still active duty in the Air Force, turning me into a military wife and dependent. It was a different role to take, knowing how many people in the military viewed military spouses. I found myself in a different bracket or tier than a lot of people. I was a military wife that was prior military. I understand the challenges my husband still undergoes in his enlistment because I knew the military life at one point. I did not have to be introduced into the military and the way it works blindly.

Throughout my enlistment, there were stories and jokes regarding military spouses, with emphasis on the military wife. Even now that I am no longer in the service, I still see memes on social media where military wives serve as a running joke. The jokes involving weight, attractiveness, infidelity or wives wearing the rank of their military spouse while attempting to utilize what power that rank may hold. Due to the stories I heard while I was in, I had a pre-conceived idea of what to expect as a military spouse. Some of the stories and jokes came from a center of truth. However, the stigma for a military wife would follow any and all military wives no matter the validity or lack thereof.

Photo of Yahaira Seawright at her Airman Leadership school graduation Yahaira Seawright

When I became a military wife, I wanted to make sure I did not fall under that stereotype. Becoming the dependent gave me something else to consider. It gave me the unheard side of those military spouses. There are so many challenges that we also face while being married to the military.

For example, we pick up and go at a moment's notice and often leave our careers behind if our spouses get moved. This makes it really hard to make friends and connections with other people. Plus, there's the reality that our spouses could lose their lives serving for our country.

A lot of the time, we become a single parent when our spouses are deployed. If we do go with, finding employment is really competitive and hard to do at all. It's hard on both of us because neither party will ever truly understand why things are done a certain way. Some things just aren't fair and that's a hard reality to deal with.

So, yes, the service of the military member is the military member's service, not ours. That fact does not mean we do not have our own sacrifices we made when we decided to marry into the military family.

The experience of the military member and the military spouse are two different sides, but they're both equally important.

yahairas
yahairas

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