Falling In Love Isn't The Perfect Fairytale Because Sometimes The Person You Love Forgets To Love You Back

Falling In Love Isn't The Perfect Fairytale Because Sometimes The Person You Love Forgets To Love You Back

He was the light of my life until suddenly he wasn't.

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Falling in love is painted out to be a perfect fairytale when in reality it's far from it. Falling in love is scary. It's full of uncertainty. It's full of pain. It's full of all the things about love that you would never expect.

Sometimes, you fall in love with someone and they don't love you back. Sometimes you fall in love with someone and you had no intentions of doing so. And sometimes, just sometimes, love works out the way it should.

All in all, falling in love is great, if it's with the right person. Having been someone who fell in love with the wrong person, it's horrible… Trust me. I loved him with every ounce of my being. He was the light of my life until suddenly he wasn't. He broke me in ways I never thought I could've been broken. I stopped being me.

I spent every hour of every single day in bed. I stopped talking to the people I loved the most. I stopped doing what I loved. My whole world stopped and for what reason? The first person I had ever fallen in love with threw me away like I was a burnt out cigarette.

My love for him kept me trapped. I chased him for months after he left me. Sometimes he would come back on his own, sending me a song that made him think of me or asking me what changed since the last time we spoke. The answer was always the same, I was always doing fine or simply just okay.

While I know he did love me at one point, I'm not sure if it's enough for me to keep trying to make something work after it's been broken so many times. I wouldn't take back what I've been through. He taught me how to love. He taught me how to know when it's time to move on.

Loving him wasn't easy. Loving him cost me so many relationships with friends and family. Nobody wanted me to love him, yet I couldn't stop. I wanted his late night conversations. I wanted his early morning wake ups. I wanted him to love me the way I love him, but love doesn't always happen that way.

The thing with loving him is that I know I always will. A piece of me will always belong to him and I think that's the worst part of love. You can try to ignore it, but it will always be there. One day, you'll meet someone, but your love for that first person will always be there. You'll find yourself absentmindedly comparing that first love to whoever comes after them, praying that the next person doesn't hurt you.

Love knows no bounds. It doesn't magically happen and there's no switch to turn it off. Falling for him showed me that love isn't what you expect. It's not magical, kissing in the rain moments that drive it. It's the little things. It's the way someone looks at you. It's the way someone holds you without realizing what they're doing. It's the sound of their voice when they sing you a song without ever breaking eye contact.

Love isn't concrete. There is no set way to love someone. It's up to you to figure out how to show love. It's up to you to learn how the other person shows love. Nothing is set in stone when it comes to love.

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Surviving Domestic Violence And Learning To Love Again

Never tell a survivor that it is "easy" to bounce back from their lowest point.

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*I personally have NOT been through any of the events described here, nor am I a domestic violence survivor. I write this with the help of sources and personal stories/experiences.*

When you are a victim of domestic violence, you don't want to tell anyone. You fear that no one would believe you.

When you are a victim of domestic violence, your guard only gets higher and higher. You are afraid of letting anyone in.

You are afraid to speak up, even when you always could. You are terrified of fighting back.

What if it hurts more this time?

You don't think you will survive. You don't think you will make it.

You will.

Survivors and current victims still have difficulty trying to get back out again, to feel normal. Once something horrible happens to them the first time, they are hesitant and super sensitive for a really long time, possibly for the rest of their lives.

Domestic violence is defined as a type of harm, and this harm can be physical or mental. Did you know that it does not have to be from someone who is in a relationship with you? Domestic violence accounts for anyone who lives with you in the same home, whether it is your boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, father, or sibling.

That is a common misconception we tend to find with DV. Abusers do not have to be dating you. You just have to live under the same roof with this person in order for it to qualify as domestic violence.

Most often, females are typically the main targets. Males are typically the suspects. 85% of domestic violence victims are women, and women are most often victimized by someone they know.

BUT men can be victimized, too. More than 1 in 4 men have experienced some type of domestic violence by an intimate partner or someone they familiarize themselves with.

These numbers do not lie, and it is so very unfortunate and sad. It keeps happening and happening.

Warning signs for domestic violence include controlling behaviors (not allowed to hang out with friends or family; money handler); threatening to hurt you, your children, or your pets; showing extreme jealousy of everything you do; constantly putting you down; preventing you from making your own decisions, etc.

All of it is scary, but one of the scariest things to get back into is loving someone again. As a survivor, you tend to feel like you will never find a good relationship again or be able to build your life back up. You are unable to trust or let your guard down. You think every relationship will end up in the gutter.

This is not always true. There is always hope, and there is help for that.

You are able to love again, and there are guidance options if you have any questions or fears.

Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence is a non-profit organization that helps victims AND survivors with any problems, issues, or fears they may currently have. This group provides a nationwide network of resources and support for survivors and families affected by domestic violence.

If you need guidance, help, or just someone to talk to, contact them! You can find all of their information on their website or Facebook page.

If you or someone you know is a victim/survivor of domestic violence and is still currently struggling for help, please call these phone numbers or go to these websites.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence: 1-855-287-1777

https://www.thehotline.org/ (The Hotline)

https://www.breakthesilencedv.org/ (Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence)

Any kind of help matters and you are not alone, ever.

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To The Guy Who Told Me Not To Be Me, Nice Try

He will not silence me.

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He told me to never cut my hair short because it would make me look too masculine.

So, I sent him pictures of three different pixie cuts and asked him which one I should get.


He told me not to wear red lipstick because it made me look like a slut.

So, I bought every shade from blush rose to maroon.


He told me not to buy heels taller than one and a half inches tall because it's unattractive for a girl to be taller then the guy she is with.

My favorite shop was having a sell on a beautiful pair of three-inch stilettos. I bought them.


He told me that I was putting on a few extra pounds and that I shouldn't order dessert on our next dinner date.

Did he honestly think I would say no to the red velvet cake that our waitress offered?


He flirted with the waitress, saying that I should "look more like her."

I wrote down his number on our receipt before we left the restaurant.


He told me not to leave my "feminine products" on the counter because it's embarrassing.

When his friends came over for guys night, I organized my tampons and pads nicely on the bathroom shelf.


He told me that I couldn't talk to my best friend of 12 years because he was a guy.

I invited him to watch a movie with us at the local cinema the following week.


He told me not to order wine at the bar with him and his work friends because he didn't want me to seem "trashy."

I ordered jack and coke instead.


He told me not to be a feminist because it meant that I thought I was better than him.

My new "GIRL PWR" shirt is my favorite.


He told me to be silent.

He told me that I think too much and that I speak what I think too often.

He told me nobody cares about what I have to say.

He told me that the things I say don't matter.


So, I wrote a poem about him.

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