Last Wednesday night I made a bold and rather rash decision to cut my own hair. I had gotten off work, showered, and was feeling restless. I had been wanting to cut my hair for some time now, but I kept forgetting to make an appointment with my stylist. My hair was looked unfortunately frumpy looking. It was at an awkward length and shorter hair just looks so much better on me. I looked in the mirror and thought "If I mess this up my stylist could probably fix it". And I looked for exactly .3 more seconds before grabbing my car keys and heading to the store to get scissors.
Let me interrupt this story by making it clear that I have absolutely no experience with cutting hair. I've never been to any sort of beauty or hair school. I've never cut anyone else's hair before. I've never cut my own hair before. I'm not even that great at styling hair. Did any of that detour me? Absolutely not. I was determined to make this work on my own. I've put dyes and other colors on my hair at home before and figured that was enough to train me to handle a pair of shears.
Along with ignoring the fact that I am not qualified to do this in the slightest, I also ignored several signs from the universe telling me to stop as well. I first went to Walmart I found a pair of cheap hair cutting scissors. I went to the self-checkout and they wouldn't ring up. I got frustrated and left and went to another store. I searched there for what seemed like an eternity and I couldn't find them. Still desperate to play beauty salon tonight, I went to Drug Mart as a last resort. I was able to find a pair but as I was going through the checkout the cashier said, "Oh I'm sorry but your card isn't working, do you have another form of payment?" After my two previous attempts to buy scissors failed, one would think hearing this would be enough to convince me that going through with this wasn't a good idea...
"Here take my credit card!" and the fate of my hair was sealed.
When I got home I ran upstairs directly into my bathroom. I didn't go on Pinterest. Didn't watch a single YouTube video. My plan was to put my hair into two pig tails, cut them at the same length, then take them out and clean up the ends. Sounds simple enough right? I parted my hair into two sides and tied my hair at the length I wanted it cut. I reached for the scissors, took a deep breath, and snipped off one side at a time. Within seconds my hair was chopped and I was delighted.
I took the hair ties out and my hair looked the worst I had ever seen it. I looked like if Lord Farquad cut his hair with gardening shears. Every strand looked like it was a different length. There were random sections of short and long pieces and it was lopsided. Still, however, I continued to cut. I was certain I could fix it myself. I cut the pieces that stuck out and tried to tailor the ends into a bob. However, every time I made a cut it just seemed to make it look worse. Random sections of my hair were sticking out and nothing I did could make my hair sit right. Frustrated, I took a mirror and looked at the back of my head and I realized there was no hope. My hair was entirely butchered and my hands were of no use. I let out a disappointed sigh then went to bed. The next morning when I woke up I made an appointment with my stylist for her to fix my hair over the weekend.
Clearly, I am incapable of cutting hair. In the words of my hairdresser, "I mean it could've been worse but not by much". I don't think I will ever try to cut my hair again, but I don't think I'll ever stop trying to do new things. At the end of the day, it's just hair. You can cut it, shave it, dye it, and it will grow back. Screwing up my hair is certainly not the end of the world however I can honestly say; don't try this at home.
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