It was just another Saturday night in Tallahassee, where every one was out and about trying to drink away their sorrows of that “tough week" they had at FSU. I was having a drink with my buddy (for the sake of the story, lets call him John) who wouldn't stop rambling on about this attractive girl across the bar, surrounded by guys. John was nervous to go over and talk to her, but ultimately built up the courage to do so. The following is a true dialogue between the two of them:

John: *Walks up beside the girl* "Hey there." (I figured he'd have a follow up sentence but it's better than nothing, right?)

Beautiful girl: "What?" (It just so happened that as John went up to talk to her, the DJ cranked up the volume and threw on "Uptown Funk", a song that John thinks would be perfect for his 13 year old brother to walk out to for his upcoming bar-mitzvah, but that's beside the point).

John: "I love this song!"

Beautiful girl: "I'm sorry, what?"

So far so good for our boy John...

Now, the rest of the story is too embarrassing to keep dragging on through dialogue, so let me clump it together in one sentence. John finally says something loud enough for the beautiful girl to understand, knocks over her drink after trying to show her his favorite dance move, and ends his night by getting knocked out by the beautiful girl's boyfriend, who came back from the bathroom and saw poor Johnny boy hitting on her.

John is like the majority of Americans who fill out a NCAA March Madness bracket. They see that sexy team who has been annihilating the competition all season long and then select them to hoist the trophy when it's all said and done. Kentucky is this year's "beautiful girl" that every guy wants to go for. That's why this year, more than ever, it's so important to not be like my friend John. You need to come prepared with effective pick up lines and strategies once you finally build up the courage to talk to the girl. By this, I mean don't sleep on the first weekend of the tournament. We know that because of their dominance this season, Kentucky is going to be the overwhelming popular pick to win it all. This doesn't mean that I'm saying you shouldn't pick them, because who am I kidding, they are unbelievable. What I am saying is, if you do pick them, you need to be smart with your first and second round picks, strategically selecting upsets. Below are six recommendations that you should consider if you want to win that office pool:

1) #1 seeds are 120-0 against #16 seeds since the tournament expanded in 1985. That is all.

2) Pick at least one #12 seed to "upset" a #5. Since the expansion, 44 #12 seeds have won their first game. That's a 38% winning percentage! Harvard has most recently been a common #12 seed to outsmart their opponents and should be in a similar situation again this year.

3) #2 seeds are not the answer. You may be surprised to know that only once in the past 18 years have all number #2 seeds reached the sweet sixteen. Three #15 seeds beat a #2 in the past three years. Can you say overrated?

4) #8 seeds beat #9 seeds 52% of the time (coin toss). Personally, I can never get these games right, so my best advice is to find the least knowledgeable person you know when it comes to this, and ask which team mascot they like better. Side note: Girls also have fun with the question, "Which head coach is better looking?"

5) Don't pick chalk (aka all higher seeds). In the past 5 years, there hasn't been more than one #1 seed in the Final Four. During that time, the same amount of #4 seeds have made it to the Final Four as the #1s. Think about that. Since 2000, 80% of the Final Fours had either one or two #1 seeds still alive. Thus, putting zero, three, or four #1 seeds in your Final Four is risky, so be smart.

6) In the end, have fun with it. No one, including ESPN's Joey Brackets, President Obama, or myself, really knows what the hell we're talking about when we explain our picks.

There's really nothing like March Madness with all of the miraculous upsets and Cinderella stories along the way. So start faking the flu-like symptoms around your boss and plant yourself in front of a nice TV come opening tip!