Things I'd Rather Do Than Hear Complaints About The Patriots
Start writing a post
Sports

50 Things I Would Rather Do Than Hear You Complain About The New England Patriots

Your bitterness will cause you unwanted wrinkles, I promise.

166
50 Things I Would Rather Do Than Hear You Complain About The New England Patriots
https://usatftw.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/c01_number_28_69458904.jpg?w=1000&h=600&crop=1

If you're the best at something, it's almost guaranteed that someone will hate you for it. It doesn't matter how humble you are or how deserved something might be, you will have haters. Clearly, you are doing something right if so.

In the sports world, when it comes to particular teams, the magnification of disgust and hatred is brought to a whole new level. It's borderline psychotic but rivalry and sh*t talking is just the tip of the ice burg of what makes sports so great. Now when it when it comes to the New England Patriots, the pettiness and execration are always at an all-time high. So high, that "humorous" articles like this are written, and somehow, actually go viral.

In Tom Brady we trust, so to delightfully return the favor to most of America, as a New England fan, here are 50 things I rather do than hear you complain about the New England Patriots:

1. Get shot in the forehead by a paintball gun.

2. Be cursed with a Kim Kardashian crying face for the rest of my life.

3. Have a hockey puck knock out my two front teeth.

4. Take a hot shower with turf burn.

5. Burn my tongue on hot coffee every day.

6. Never watch another Disney movie ever again.

7. Drive behind an 80-year-old on my commute to work.

8. Stub my pinky toe the second I get out of bed.

9. Swallow something down the "wrong pipe."

10. Max out my credit card at the bar.

11. Wait in line at a grocery store the day before a holiday.

12. Give up social media for a month.

13. Repeat grades K-12.

14. Use my Myspace picture from 2006 as my LinkedIn picture.

15. Spoon a porcupine. 

16. Go on a date with the person I've been swerving since last year.

17. Drive in a clown car as my main source of transportation.

18. Rip my pants before meeting my celebrity crush.

19. Eat a sandwich that fell in sand. 

20. Be stuck in a 15 hour layover.

21. Be forced to watch C-Span as my only news source.

22. Be chased around by Pennywise.

23. Listen to "Friday" by Rebecca Black on repeat.

24. Eat rocks.

25. Get sh*t on by a bird in a new outfit.

26. Get mistakenly arrested for public intoxication on the boardwalk. 

27. Be deprived of pasta for a year. 

28. Get stuck in a mosh-pit.

29. Dig my car out of snow.

30. Try to maneuver and eat a collapsing burrito.

31. Have poor service equivalent to the service at a concert.

32. Wake up feeling hungover without even drinking.

33. Get a paper cut.

34. Have to pay for laundry.

35. Pour candle wax on my body.

36. Go through boot camp.

37. Never eat my favorite snack again.

38. Listen to AM radio.

39. Get splashed on by a car speeding through a puddle.

40. Get in the ring with Ronda Rousey.

41. Be abruptly woken up by a mariachi band.

42. Use a paper map instead of Google Maps for the rest of my life. 

43. Go streaking in 0 degree weather.

44. Realize you got the wrong coffee order once you're at your destination. 

45. Delete my Netflix/Hulu/Spotify/Apple Music subscription.

46. Use lemon juice as contact solution.

47. Replace toilet paper with sandpaper.

48. Pay for a $500 Uber.

49. Use a fraternity house bathroom.

50. Laugh at all of you when Tom Brady wins Boston another ring.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Planning Another Christmas Party

Don't just plan another plain party but get creative to have everyone wanting to come back next year!

5603
Getty Famous

You know it's Christmas when the radio stations change to all of your favorite holiday tunes, the air is still, and stores have the best sales. With all my favorite things from Christmas happening my least favorite probably has to be when I have to go to another same old boring Christmas party that I get invited to every year. Here are some Christmas party ideas so that you won't have another sad Christmas party.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

High School Soccer is Wildly Important

For Young Players Who Want to Succeed at The Next Level

10720
High School Soccer is Wildly Important

Whose choice is it? The parent? The player? There are a number of reasons that a kid may sit out of high school soccer, and to be completely honest; It is a huge mistake. High school soccer is the final piece in the puzzle that takes a player from above average or elite, to college ready by the end of their senior year. Every year thousands of talented athletes don't play for their high schools. Why though?

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

8 Things That Should Be On Everyone's Holiday To-Do List

December is around the corner, are you ready?

9079
8 Things That Should Be On Everyone's Holiday To-Do List
Unsplash.com

As they tend to say, its the most wonderful time of the year! People have begun to compile their Christmas to-do lists in anticipation for the season of sugarplums and gingerbread.

The history of the Christmas to-do lists goes back hundreds of years, almost as old as the holiday itself, however, people tend to fall out of this habit as they get older. This is unfortunate, as the theme of Christmas tradition can add bundles of the spirit of joy to your families.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Fall Weather Must-Haves

Put away the swim suits and your favorite high-waisted shorts!

9289

The transitional months of fall can cause some fashion headaches as you try to figure out what clothing to keep in your closet. With limited amount of college living space and the ever-unpredictable Nebraska weather, sometimes it’s difficult to know what should be taking up that precious closet space as you transition into winter. As you pack away those tanks and shorts for the chilly months ahead, get your closet ready with a few Fall must-haves. 

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

Take a look at the articles driving big conversations on Odyssey.

8237
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/video/we-are-rollins-odyssey
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/video/we-are-rollins-odyssey

At Odyssey, we're on a mission to encourage constructive discourse on the Internet. That's why we created the response button you can find at the bottom of every article.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments