So, recently I had a bit of a dilemma. And when I say dilemma, I mean a romantic dilemma- it wasn't anything too dramatic, just the fact that I wasn't sure if I should pursue a romantic relationship with a good friend of mine. I knew I felt some sort of affection for them, but I didn't know for a short moment there if it was romantic or not. I could've asked friends, mutual friends, or even my roommates for advice. I didn't.
I asked my mother instead. And while she sat on the stairs, listening to me, she said simply, "If you have to think about whether or not you want to date someone, the answer is probably no."
Let me give you some backstory on my mother. My mother is a boat refugee from South Vietnam. She's fluent in both Vietnamese and English. She has a master's degree in organic chemistry. She reads trashy romance novels in her free time.
She's been married to my dad for twenty-six years. Before marrying my dad, she only ever dated one person- that person was also my dad.
Few people are probably as lucky as my mother when it comes to romance, but seriously, if you have romantic problems, tell your parents about it. Or your legal guardians. Or whoever raised you from childhood. They'll give you good advice, even if you don't like how it sounds. Because once upon a time, they were in your shoes. They had their fair share of heartbreak (unless they were lucky like my mother) and I bet you anything they will be more than happy to share that wisdom with you.
Even more so, if they're married. If they've been married or divorced even, they will have a good idea of what makes up a good, healthy relationship, because for many of us, that's what we want with our dating partners, right? In my case, my mother told me that if you're interested in dating someone, you'll know for sure. When they ask you out, you won't hesitate, you won't have to think about the answer. You'll just know.
And sure, you might be doubtful of their advice because they're old, what do they know about life. A heck lot more than I do at least. I'm gaining my experience with romance right now. They already have. So seriously. If you have problems with romance or romantic relationships, ask your parents or legal guardians. They know you best so there's a good chance they'll also know what choice would make you the happiest in the end.
But back to my situation- I did take her advice. I did a bit of thinking (ten seconds to be exact) and realized she was right. The affection I had for my friend was purely platonic.
My mother always did know me best in the end.
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