Often times, I feel as though feminism is seen as a movement that moves women further away from femininity. This is simply untrue.
All throughout high school, I experimented in finding the perfectly balanced gender expression. My goal was to never be feminine to the point of being seen as a bimbo, or masculine to the point of being called a dyke. Freshman year, my typical look was a button-down shirt, corduroy pants, and Doc Marten combat boots - all while still having pink hair. Sophomore year, I wore a short skirt every day, aptly accessorized with a small bow in my short pixie-cut.
At the time, I felt that appearing too feminine would come off as weakness - that it would cost me the respect of my teachers and classmates. I never wanted to call attention to the feminine parts of my body. I felt like I had something to prove, because I am a girl, and that I had to distance myself from girlhood to compete with the guys on an academic level. Yet, all my life I have been so proud to be a girl, and I was so excited to one day become a woman, compromising between the two sentiments was quite confusing.
I am done denying my femininity.
Over the summer, I painted every wall of my apartment light pink - the same shade of light pink I wanted to paint my room when I was fourteen, when I actually decided to paint it light blue. My bed set is an identical, ruffly pink and I wake up feeling like I am swimming in strawberry milk. I have a display shelf where approximately forty beanie boos are perching. To my right, I see a pink feather fan and a vintage three-tier cupcake stand.
Not a single piece of that makes me any less of a feminist.
It is critical to acknowledge that femininity does not harm the cause of feminism - but devaluing feminine traits does. In fact, disrespecting stereotypically feminine traits, such as sensitivity and softness, is just as harmful to men as it is to women. Often times, when men do not display stereotypically masculine traits, such as aggressiveness and independence, they are shamed - and this especially applies to those who identify as LGBTQ. If femininity were not seen as being weaker than masculinity, there would be no reason to ridicule feminine boys - nor would there be any defense in sexually objectifying women and girls.
It is more than okay to have both masculine and feminine traits. Although I have some very feminine tastes, there are still many feminine traits that I have never identified with: for example, I have absolutely no skills with children, cooking, or cleaning. However, I know many woman who innately are talented at and enjoy those domestic activities - and they may even hate the color pink.
When you boil it all down, I believe that feminism is about providing the same choices to every gender: the choice to have children, the choice to go to college, the choice to shave your body hair, etc. Regardless of your assigned sex at birth, it is your human right to be allotted every choice you feel is in your own best interest. I feel that the more we celebrate femininity, the closer we will get to gender equality.
