It takes a special kind of vocabulary to work around cattle and horses for a living. But the men and women who do it are a colorful crowd and a lot of them pitched their two cents in for this article, I'll be laughing the whole time I'm writing it, so I hope you laugh reading it.
Here are 30 Cowboyisms to make your day a little brighter:
1. Rank
When something is especially unpleasant it is rank. See also: Dirty, waspy, nasty, soggy, froggy, high headed
2. Go for 90.
Give it your best shot.
3. Counterfeit
Usually used as a term to describe a worthless piece of horseflesh. See also: Nag, bucket-head, #$%@!
4. Tits Up
Dead. See also: Dirt Nap
5. Worthless as tits on a boar.
Pretty bleepin' worthless.
6. Rainin' like a tall cow pissin' on a flat rock.
Raining HARD.
7. Gunsel
A term used to describe someone who has no idea what the hell they are doing but dresses the part. See also: Green-horn, wanna-be, New aged country artists
8. Ass-end-over-tea-kettle.
Nose dive followed by immediate feet over the head tumble.
9. Dink
Used to refer to the small and ugly parts of the bunch.
10. Corn-fed.
Fat. See also: "Ya heifer." fatter than a tick on a tampon
11. Lawn-darted
Bucked off the front at a high rate of speed. Related to dick stomped.
12. In your pocket.
Something is way too close to you. Kind of like a stage 5 clinger.
13. Buckle bunny.
A female of sorts that is sexually attracted to cowboys and only cowboys but has no clue what the life is like. See also: Pole pony, trollop
14. Punchy
To some, this is an insult, but in this context, it really means this hellion knows what he or she is doing. See also: handy
15. Rode hard and put away wet.
We're talking about hard-worked horses here ya perverts.
16. Sweatier than a cowboy writin' a love note.
I'm hot. See also: Sweatin' like a whore in church. Sweatin' like a pregnant nun on a Saturday. Sweatin' like a virgin at a prison rodeo, It's hotter than two mice havin' sexual congress in a wool sock.
17. The sun will shine even on a dog's ass once in a while.
If things aren't looking up they will be.
18. Is a pig's ass pork?
Yes.
19. Just a freckle.
Just a little. I know what ya'll want me to say here but I am not putting that kind of language on here.
20. Half a bubble off plumb.
Mathew Quigley said it best. Something just ain't right.
21. You're just beatin' a dead horse.
This has been discussed we don't need to keep yellin'.
22. Fell off like a fat girl.
You didn't get bucked off, you fell off. It was awkward and funny.
23. Buckin' or bakin'.
Keepin' the sheets warm or cookin' or GTFO.
24. Ugly enough to back a buzzard off a gut-wagon.
Just plumb ugly.
25. You'll have that on them bigger operations.
Does anyone actually even have a definition for this? Pretty sure that just something we say.
26. Pissin' in the wind.
That's working real well for you huh?
27. He was just helping that sheep through the fence.
Haha, Wyoming jokes.
28. "I'd rather hang my saddle on the fence and throw dirt at it."
"I am not getting on that watchy nag."
29. Crazier than a Kiowa Paint Mare
Nuts, psycho, bonkers.
30. Tough titty said the kitty but the milk is still sweet.
I actually have no clue what this means but I really like it.
