This past year has been so eye-opening for me. I have been exposed to so many new things, new places, new ideas, and new people. But the most eye-opening experience has been about myself.
Last spring, I took a Leadership class to become a Community Leader at Baylor. It was the first time that I really took the time to express my thoughts on some tough issues facing our world and our Baylor community. It helped me uncover my true self, especially with the Enneagram.
The Enneagram is a model that categorizes people, their personalities, and their reasoning for their actions into 9 different "types." After reading The Road Back To You: An Enneagram Journey To Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile I learned so much about myself and my true intentions behind my actions. I found out that I was a Two or a Helper. Here are the following types.
Type 1: The Reformer
Type 2: The Helper
Type 3: The Achiever
Type 4: The Individualist
Type 5: The Investigator
Type 6: The Loyalist
Type 7: The Enthusiast
Type 8: The Challenger
Type 9: The Peacemaker
It took me a while to determine which of the nine personality types I was but after careful research, I found that I was a Two with a wing of a 1, meaning that I was both 2 and 1. It taught me that I tend to prioritize other people's needs instead of my own, trying to find any way I can to help others. Twos desire to feel loved and appreciated by people around them, and that rang so true for me.
This eye-opening lesson taught me a lot about myself, and as time went by in 2018 I found that I love being needed by others but I hate depending on others. I feel independent enough to achieve my goals, but to get there I don't want to depend on help. The big contradiction between being needed and needing help has changed my way of thinking.
As I ring in 2019, I'm not thinking about the stereotypical resolutions people try to stick with and give up after a month or so. Yes, I probably will try to lose weight, earn better grades, and travel more. I could work on how I can improve myself instead of my image or my GPA, carefully crafting my character rather versus a 4.0 or losing 10 pounds.
So this year, I'm setting aside time for myself. Not to "treat my self" to a face mask or to an hour of Netflix, but for journaling, reflection, rest and goal setting. I'm not saying no to help, but I'm not going to stop lending a helping hand. I'm giving myself the attention and care I deserve this year.
2019, bring it on.