I used to be really naïve about love and very adamant about living in close proximity to my future significant other. It was hard for me to understand why people would choose to put themselves through missing someone constantly, even if the distance is only one to two hours. Whether the distance is within the state or across the country - boy, is a long-distance relationship difficult. I'm not saying that a relationship where you can see each other every day isn't difficult.
I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a few months now and have yet to live in the same city as him. At the beginning of our relationship, the drive was two hours, then it became one hour, and then over the summer, our drive to each other was only 40 minutes. I don't think I had ever seen him as often as I did when we were only 40 minutes away from each other and I felt like it was getting easier.
Distance has strengthened my relationship, but it is so terrifying sometimes. I don't have worries about whether or not my boyfriend is unfaithful, but those thoughts do creep into my head sometimes. The thoughts that occupy my mind are not the nicest ones, and since our relationship is very phone-dependent, I can fall so far down the rabbit hole, and I find myself questioning why I'm in a long distance relationship at all.
It's not fair to my partner that I can dissociate so quickly and push him away. But so far, he pulls me back every single time and it reminds me that he is the sole reason why I decided that us not living in the same city wouldn't be a huge deal. Although I get so insecure that I find myself trying to isolate myself, I don't know if I could find anyone more patient and also willing to be in an LDR. I'm in love and I need to remind myself of that more often.
Sometimes my feelings of loneliness overwhelm me and it's hard to remember how warm I feel when I get to be with my boyfriend. It's hard to remember the butterflies of being able to be held and how a hug from him can dissipate any worries that I have.
I'm currently 2,384 miles away from my boyfriend. I get to see him in 32 days. I don't think I have ever missed anyone that's alive this badly before. But truthfully, it's worth it. And I'm glad that I'm a girl in a long distance relationship.
