It's hard to deal with a mind that seems to never run out of questions. It's hard to be the girl who battles with it daily wishing it would end.

There are days I get so worked up that I put myself in a depressed state. I lay in my bed and think nonstop. I think of bad thoughts that leave me becoming detached from the people who care about me the most. I fear that they doing something that would hurt me when in reality it's just my mind going to the worse thought possible.

It sucks because I end up becoming so insecure at times. I could be walking and hear two girls laugh and I get worried that they are laughing at me. Or I could be in class wanting to answer a question the professor has asked, but I can't because I'm afraid I will say something stupid and make a fool out of myself. Social anxiety is a battle I deal with constantly at school.

I've always been told I am quiet and reserved, but little do they know in my mind I have said so much. My boyfriend now gets to a point where he asks me if I'm okay if I get too quiet because that usually means my mind is everywhere, but in the in the moment.

I get so upset when people joke about anxiety like it's something cute because it's not. There's nothing fun about having a mind that never seems to rest. There's nothing cute about having a mind where one moment I'm happy and the next moment I'm upset because of negative thoughts.

For the longest time I kept everything to myself which only made it worse. It wasn't until I started dating my boyfriend that I realized if I kept everything to myself I would end up pushing him away more than anything, so we made a promise to always tell each other what's on our minds.

Even my best friend and I have made a stronger connection by not holding anything in. We just lay it right out on the table and surprisingly it helps. By speaking about what I am thinking about I tend to go on this rant and I realized those thoughts are just bad seeds trying to be planted.

Compared to where I used to be, I have made it a pretty long way. I still have my moments where I find myself thinking the worst and I get upset, but I'm getting better at calming myself down and telling myself that everything is okay and to let it go.

I'm at the point that before an exam I write down all of the negative thoughts that are troubling me and find a bible verse that cancels out those thoughts. Or if I'm at home and my anxiety is getting out of control I find something that requires me to focus likes baking or painting.

It's probably not something I will get 100% control of, but at least I'm getting better with dealing with my anxiety.