After nearly 2 years of a relationship, there's a lot of things that I've learned between my college years about commitment; in fact, much more than just commitment. Though 2 years may seem like a prolonged amount of time, there is still much ground to be covered.
What makes my relationship special and exclusive is the fact that I am a military girlfriend and have endured long distance for long lengths of time.
Guys and girls, if you can relate to this situation, these lessons are for you.
One important thing must be remembered: the distance and time don't just affect one person; it affects both people in the relationship. So this isn't for the girls in the relationship, but also for the guys (etc).
I've come up with 4 things that this relationship has taught me and how these things make my relationship better than most.
1. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
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Yes, you hear this so often and it's overused sometimes. The fact is though, this is stressed so much because of the truth that it holds. When there's distance, there's less time to spend with one another, less bonding and fewer memories.
The thing is, distance is what strengthens the relationship. When there's a major time where physical being isn't possible, the times that the physical being is available is so much more meaningful. In a way, it makes those involved want to make more of their time together like going out and doing things that are memorable.
So far, I've been able to go to so many places I'd never imagined going with my boyfriend. I've traveled to Washington D.C., the Bahamas and Puerto Rico (plus many more) with him, and all along the way, we've documented our time together.
When we're apart in times like the holiday season (being apart right now), those pictures and permanent memories are what makes our conversations and time together so much more enjoyable.
2. Communication is imperative.
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This is highly necessary for times apart. Being that my boyfriend has contracted for the U.S. Army and that he will be given his orders come his college graduation next Fall, there are things we've had to talk about regarding our future. What our priorities will be, where we'll both be physically and mentally, what we'll want to do about our relationship, etc. Since we're apart normally, we communicate via social media and text messaging. When we're together, we try to spend time with one another and catch up on little details we don't talk about when we're apart.
That time together is more serious, so we try to put things off that need to be done outside of our relationship until a later time. Regardless, when there's something that needs discussion, it's so important to communicate. Don't leave anything out and let it bug you later on. I've kept things in and bottled up things I didn't open up about. Between the military and long-distance during Winter and Summer vacations, communication is vital and it's what gets us through those times apart.
3. Take time out of life to dedicate to the relationship.
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Phones, tablets, social media, computers, schoolwork, jobs and friends can take time away from life with your loved one. My boyfriend and I are able to see each other once a week, twice if we're lucky. This has to do with going to different colleges and his training for the military. During this time, it's good to make sure that all other things are set aside that don't involve one another in order to maximize the time spent together and to make it more passionate.
Little things, I've learned, can take away from this that I didn't notice before. Things like texting, napping or talking on the phone don't seem like they'd be damaging, but with limited time together, it really does. When time is this precious, I've learned to put my beloved boyfriend first. All other things can wait at the moment.
4. Don't over attach yourself.
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While being a military girlfriend can be more rewarding and satisfying, it's just as essential to make sure I have a life outside of my relationship with my boyfriend. Right now, we're both in college and we have big life goals that we want to accomplish before anything else. We've had these goals since before we started dating. To do away with those wants and wishes after entering the relationship together would make the relationship feel like we're too invested in one another. I've always wanted to graduate college and further my education after my first degree, and my boyfriend has wanted the same things and to immediately serve his time in the military regardless of the circumstances of us.
This, to me, is not a bad thing. It's honestly something that I've had to learn to just suck up about. It's life. My boyfriend doesn't live in the same state as me. Though he goes to college in the same state as me, about an hour away, he makes it a priority to visit home for the holidays and important times of the year.
I can't always be with him. That's a fact. But in a way, it's a good thing we can't always be together. We need lives outside of each other. Since we've managed this, our relationship has escalated slowly over time in a healthy way.
Relationships already take lots of patience, communication, honesty, courage and loyalty to last. They're not always easy to endure. Add distance and military life to that scenario: would you survive it?
You may think it's a difficult thing to be put through, but I can't even fathom how much I've learned doing a relationship like this. Not only is it healthy, but it's passionate, meaningful and heartfelt. Things that a normal relationship couldn't attain.
