My Life Sucks Without You, Best Friend

My Life Sucks Without You, Best Friend

One of my best friends moved away when we were 12 and I haven't seen him - or heard from him - since.

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Sometimes I wonder if you even remember I exist. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because memories flood my brain, thinking about how great of a friend you were to me. You were there for me when everybody else left me, and I realize now that I never treated you the way you deserved to be treated. You deserved to be treated like a prince or a king, and I treated you like you were just everybody else. I didn't treat you as nicely as I should have, and maybe that's why you haven't tried to get in touch with me since you moved.

Or maybe we just weren't as close as I thought we really were.

I can remember how I started getting really antsy and upset easily, how I never noticed those were the signs that I was going to have the mental illnesses I have now.. You were there for me. You stood up for me when everybody else turned their backs against me. You were there when I would fall down (literally..) and you were there for me when I just didn't feel anything. In our fourth grade year, you had a really bad asthma attack. You had hives covering your body and your doctor told you not to go to school that day, yet you did. I made sure that you were okay once you were in the classroom, walking with you to go where you needed to go and making sure that your water bottle was filled if you drank too much of it.

I can remember that year vividly because that was the year that I formed what I thought was the biggest crush to ever exist. I didn't realize that it was merely platonic love, I was just blinded by the fact that I knew I wanted to have you in my life forever. I thought that was what true love was, but I know better now. We were always picked to be in the same groups, and when we weren't picked to we still chose to. We did everything together in fourth grade.

When fifth grade came around, we grew even closer. Everybody knew I had a "crush" on you by then, so they would always tease me about it. You never did, though. You never tried to hurt me in any way, shape, or form. You stood by me when they would pick at me, and you would stand up for me when you thought that I needed a shoulder to cry on. We were in a play that year, and my character was flirting with yours. Everybody in our grade thought it was hilarious because not only did I have the biggest case of stage fright (which I still do, to be completely honest with you..), but I had to stand up in front of everybody and flirt with you. I thought I was going to die, but you still smiled at me and told me that I was doing great even when I screwed everything up on my end.

You moved away in sixth grade. I can still remember that one of our last conversations was in our health class. You looked at me and asked me, innocently, if I was going to miss you when you moved. My heart shattered so much that I felt shards of it piercing my lungs. I couldn't breathe, so I just muttered out a simple "no" as a response. I went home and cried that day, the thought of losing one of my closest friends so unbearable that I just couldn't keep it in anymore.

There's so much I want to tell you now.. Like how I had my first kiss in 8th grade, how I held a long-term relationship for the first time in 7th grade, how I chopped all of my hair off once 7th grade started, and how things didn't get better for me like I made it seem. Things were dark, and I wish that I had you around so that I could have somebody there for me when I needed them. Someone I loved hurt me really badly, and I'm still trying to recover from it even though it was years ago. I'm studying at that college I never shut up about, the one that I wanted to get into so badly.. I'm getting better, I'm growing stronger, and I still think about you from time to time. I think about all the good memories that we had together, all the fun times that we would play on the playgrounds and laugh about stupid things that were going on in our lives.

If you're reading this, which I doubt you are, I want you to know that you'll always be one of my closest friends. You'll always be somebody that I think about when times are getting dark, and if I get an opportunity to connect with you again.. That would be the best present a girl could ever wish for.

Oh, and I broke that hair clip you loved so much. The gold one with the gems on it in floral patterns. More of the gems fell out. It was just as important to me as you were because of the memories it held within it's gems.

You will forever be my best friend.

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When You Make A Girl An Aunt, You Change Her World In All The Best Ways

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest girl in the world.

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My brother and his wife recently blessed our family with the sweetest bundle of joy on planet earth. OK, I may be a little bias but I believe it to be completely true. I have never been baby crazy, but this sweet-cheeked angel is the only exception. I am at an age where I do not want children yet, but being able to love on my nephew like he is my own is so satisfying.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a very protective person.

From making sure the car seat is strapped in properly before every trip, to watching baby boy breathe while he sleeps, you'll never meet someone, besides mommy and daddy of course, who is more concerned with the safety of that little person than me.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her a miniature best friend.

There is something about an aunt that is so fun. An aunt is a person you go to when you think you're in trouble or when you want something mom and dad said you couldn't have. An aunt is someone who takes you to get ice cream and play in the park to cool down after having a temper tantrum. I can't wait to be the one he runs to.

When you make a girl an aunt, she gets to skip on the difficulty of disciplining.

Being an aunt means you get to be fun. Not to say I wouldn't correct my nephew if he were behaving poorly, but for the most part, I get to giggle and play and leave the hard stuff for my brother.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her the best listening ears.

As of right now I only listen to the sweet coos and hungry cries but I am fully prepared to listen to all the problems in his life in the future.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the best advice giver.

By the time my nephew needs advice, hopefully, I will have all of my life lessons perfected into relatable stories.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a number-one fan

Anything you do in life sweet boy, I will be cheering you on. I already know you are going to do great things.

When you make a girl an aunt, she learns what true love is.

The love I have for my nephew is so pure. Its the love that is just there. I don't have to choose to show love every day, I don't have to forgive, I don't have to worry if it is reciprocated, it is just there.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest person in the world.

I cannot wait to watch my precious nephew grow into the amazing person that I know he is going to be.

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Note To Self: Stop Procrastinating Because It's Never Worth It

I always tell myself this is the last time and that next time I'll have it finished before the due date but it never happens!

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Let me tell you a little something about myself, I usually get what needs to get done, done. But the process behind it is way more hectic than it needs to be.

For example, during finals week I had two papers due, I was aware of it all quarter and told myself I would finish them early so I wouldn't be stressing the night before. Yet here I am, finishing my papers the morning of.

I don't know why this happens every time. I tell myself it's because I work better under pressure, but we all know that is just a lame excuse.

The thing is, when you leave things for last minute you can't enjoy anything. I might be procrastinating and watching Netflix but trust me that paper is always in the back of my head. Yeah, I'll go out with friends but I know I should be at home.

If you're anything like me you understand the struggle. But I am determined to do better. There were days when I actually felt productive and did things on time. It's just going to take some practice and discipline.

So if you're tired of procrastinating and want to do things differently, I'm here to tell you that I'm right there with you on that. We can do this.

Here are some tips on how you can be more productive by yours truly when my life was more put together, aka when we had just started the quarter.

Good luck ya'll, let's say goodbye to the procrastinating days together!

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