The bills are piling up as high as the dishes in the sink. You hit the snooze button over and over every morning. You're exhausted, and you can't remember the last time you washed your hair (thank goodness for dry shampoo). You're burnt out, and all you want to do is sit and do absolutely nothing.
Your current motto? "I'll sleep when I'm dead."
You didn't ask for this and you certainly don't want to deal with it. The endless cycle of work, bills and stress. No matter how hard you work, you can never get ahead. Or perhaps you're stuck in a job you dread. You know the one where you practically have to drag yourself out the door every morning, and the only thing keeping you from calling in sick is your stack of unpaid bills.
Whatever your situation, I'm sure you felt that feeling at least one time in your life.
And that, my friends, is what we call a quarter-life crisis. Dictionary.com defines it as “a crisis that may be experienced in one's twenties, involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one's life,” and Wikipedia defines it as “a period of life ranging from twenties to thirties, in which a person begins to feel doubtful about their own lives, brought on by the stress of becoming an adult.”
Discover magazine describes the five phases of a quarter-life crisis:
Phase 1: A feeling of being trapped by your life choice; feeling as though you’re living your life on autopilot.
Phase 2: A rising sense of “I’ve got to get out,” and the feeling that you can change your life.
Phase 3: Quitting the job, relationship or whatever is making you feel trapped and embarking on a “time-out” period when you try out new experiences to find out who you want to be.
Phase 4: Rebuilding your life.
Phase 5: Developing new commitments more attuned to your interests and aspirations.
I know this is probably something that you don’t want to hear right now, but it’s time for some tough love. Everyone needs to go through a quarter-life crisis, instead of just waiting for their mid-life crisis. Even though it doesn’t seem like it right now, when your world seems to be falling apart, but a quarter-life crisis can actually help you.
It teaches you how to get up, no matter how many times you get knocked down.
It shows you that life isn’t always going to go the way you planned it, and that’s okay.
It helps you discover who you are and what is truly important to you.
It points you to where you are meant to go.
Now I don’t want all of you thinking that I am just preaching to the choir here. I’m talking to all of us, including myself. There are some days when I think I have everything figured out, and my life plan is set in stone. Only to realize a few seconds, minutes, hours or days later that a larger rock has come along and smashed my life plan.
It’s hard being a 20-something adult, especially when I used to think that 20-year-old people had their lives together. Either those people were way ahead of everyone else, or I was completely delusional. You have no direction in life, and you aren’t sure where to turn to next. Every opportunity seems just like the one before. You’re scared because these are essentially the foundation years that the rest of your life will build upon. If you’re anything like me, the simple thought of hat terrifies you. One mistake, regardless of the magnitude, could affect the rest of your life in ways you never thought possible.
Even though being in the midst of a quarter-life crisis is quite terrifying, you’re not alone. You aren’t the first or the last to experience what you’re going through, but just remember this: it will come to an end. Don’t believe me? Here are some famous people who used to be in your shoes:
How to survive a quarter-life crisis:
Thankfully, there are plenty of resources out there to help us deal with our rapidly changing lives. Here are some of the ways I found most helpful to deal with the stress and not go completely insane:
Find your inner self
Create space between you and the stress to figure out how you really feel.
Try new things -- food, clothes, music. If you can name it, you should try it.
Don’t be afraid to disappoint others, but respect their opinions.
Ask yourself these questions.
What makes me happy? What doesn’t make me happy?
What am I good at, and what do I have a natural talent for?
How can I earn an income from my talent(s)?
What are my biggest dreams, and what is preventing me from accomplishing them?
Check out this Buzzfeed article for inspiration.
Read some self-help books to better yourself personally and professionally. Here are some to get your started.
Remember to always do these things:
Surround yourself with people you love.
Take care of yourself.
Stay active.
Study.
Laugh as much as possible.
Find little ways to feel good.
Talk it out.
Be flexible
Take advantage of your connections.
Believe things will get better.
You may have a lot of ups and downs but the most important thing is to keep moving forward. Any step, no matter how big or small, is a step in the right direction. Don’t overthink things, and everything will work out in the end. Trust me on this.
“You’ll be fine. You’re 25. Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don’t avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath; you’ll be okay, even if you don’t feel okay all of the time.” -- Louis CK
