As I scrolled through my Instagram feed a few days ago, I stumbled upon both a disturbing, yet empowering post by one of my best friends, Stephanie (who also gave me full permission to use and write about her it.)
When I first read what someone said to my best friend, I was appalled. When is it ever necessary for someone to comment on someone else's weight, or better yet, when is it okay comment about anything about someone else? The saying "keep your opinions to yourself" is not dead.
If someone is going to the gym to lose weight, or bulk up, or tone up or for any possible reason, it isn't anyone else's business. The gym should be an environment where everyone feels comfortable enough to do their own thing and not feel like all eyes are on them. Everyone is there trying to better themselves. If you're tearing someone down while you're there, do you really feel accomplished?
Working out is for you, and you only. I can't stress this enough. If it makes you feel good to do it, then by all means do it! No one should ever feel worse when they take a step off of the elliptical, or feel bad about themselves when they place the weights back on the rack.
Why is everyone so concerned about everyone else's life? Just one hurtful comment can really be internalized and stick with someone for their entire life. Just one comment. Words can deteriorate a person's self esteem. And if they're going to the gym, it's probable that they've been trying to increase their self esteem and you just knocked it down. And we all know that it's much easier to knock something down than to build it up.
And maybe this is the reason that so many people dislike going to the gym. They know that they're being watched and they can't stand that. Or they fear hearing comments like the one made to Steph. We all know what it's like to feel bad about ourselves at one point or another, so why do we choose to make others feel that way when we know how awful it feels? If we started just smiling at people at the gym and stopped being so concerned with what the people next to us are doing and just focus on us, the environment would be a much more positive one.
I try find the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. Even so, making a comment that could have easily stayed inside your head could have been so easy. Even if that woman had a bad day, there was still no reason to spoil someone else's day too.
Thankfully Stephanie didn't let that woman get away with her rude and unnecessary comment. She really made a great point. You can be "fat" and pretty. You can also be "skinny" and pretty. Everyone has their own definition of these words. Personally, I dislike them because they carry such a stigma with them. I will just go with you can be pretty at ANY weight. Your outer AND your inner beauty. Not everything is about looks. Yes, of course we all want to feel beautiful on the outside. Want to know a secret? We all can! If we spread positivity and work out for ourselves and love ourselves regardless of the comments from anyone else, you're already there.
It also made me really happy to see the overwhelming amount of support she got from the post. The sea of positive comments may just be enough to wash away some of the completely unnecessary comment.
