The Beginning Ghostbuster's Guide To Surviving Halloween
Halloween

The Beginning Ghostbuster's Guide To Surviving Halloween

The spirits are rising up from the dead! Time to gear up!

267

HEY, YOU!!! YEAH!!! YOU!!!

HEED MY WORDS... your LIFE may DEPEND on IT!

We have passed the Equinox, the witching hour is gaining strength, and Orange Kit-Kat bars are in stores! That could only mean one thing... GHOSTS! And because of that, YOU need to be prepared to defend yourself from imminent haunting, guaranteed infestation, and impending possession.

Here are my top 13 tips for you to ward off evil apparitions in time for this upcoming All Hallows Eve!

Start with the home base.

Invest in some good mirrors, crucifixes and Holy Water. Better yet, INVITE A PRIEST to bless your home. Don't bother with boards and nails! These are not Zombies… they're GHOSTS! THEY WALK THROUGH WALLS. Also, SALT. EVERYWHERE!

 Develop a Taste for Classical Music.

Most spooks are absolutely floored by classical music. Makes their skin (or lack-there-of) crawl! Bach or Mozart should do a number on 'em!

If you don’t like the color red... YOU BETTER START!

Just like classical music, spooky spirits are deterred by the color red. So check out your local home-goods store and raid them for ALL of their red carpets, wallpaper, and clothing!

 Arm Up!

Get yourself a quality set of Ghost Annihilation gear. This calls for a raid of your local sporting goods store, or the Nerf aisle at Target — vests, pants with lots of pockets, gloves, ninja garb, something leather — all necessities! Also, you might want to track down a helmet or headgear of some sort, in case you encounter one of those pesky paranormal poltergeists! (I broke out the alliteration, so you KNOW I mean BUSINESS!)

Primary Weapon: Holy Water Blaster.

Those kids in "Monster House" would have had a lot more luck if those water guns had been filled with Holy Water!

Alternative Ammo: If you can, gather those slimy leftovers from the spooks and use it in your blaster. Especially if the ghost is one of those pesky fire/electricity spooks. Also, garlic… not sure if it will work, but worth a shot.

Secondary Weapon: The Spook-Saber.

At first glance, it may just look like a toy lightsaber that you picked up from the Halloween Costume section at Walmart… BUT I TELL YOU THIS, it is a deadly phantom phaser!

Disclaimer: You are gonna want to get that bad boy blessed by a priest, or at least a friend who paid attention in Sunday School. You're pretty much screwed if you don't. Proceed with caution.

Tertiary Weapon: Ghoul-y Bombs.

That's right! Water balloons filled with the same ammo of choice in your Holy Water (or other various spooky/Halloweenie fluid) Blaster! Should provide you with some handy grenade-like projectiles!

Caution: Careful, don't let them pop. You don't wanna be cornered with no backup

Secret Weapon: Graveyard Dirt!

YES! The ultimate tool to exorcize your abode. Spread it in and all around your property. IF YOU CAN TRICK THE GHOST(S) INTO EATING IT, THEY WILL EXPLODE IMMEDIATELY! (Easier said than done.)

Alternative: Salt. It works pretty well… for a while... kinda.

 Last Resort: Friendly Sacrifice.

Hate to say it, but you might have to. If you are in a group, best to go with the weakest link. Just throw that little bastard to the ghosts like bacon to the wolves! (Of course, they may just get a good slime-ing by a Class V Roaming Vapor.)

ALSO a GREAT WAY TO VANQUISH YOUR MORTAL ENEMIES AS WELL! A win-win in my book.

STUDY UP!

The more homework you can do on the haunted enemy, the better. As many movies, shows and books as you can get your hands on. My recommendations…

Books: The Ghosthunters series by Cornelia Funke, as well as any clues you can gather from R.L. Stine's body of work. ALSO, can't go wrong with "The Very Scary Almanac" by Eric Elfman.

Movies: The original "Ghostbusters" movie! (Stay away from the other one.)

TV Shows: "Ghost Adventures," "Haunted Live," and the original "Ghost Hunters." (Just hit up the Travel channel. All their stuff is good.) And again, R.L. Stine!

Be Aware!

Never let your guard down. It is easy to do: No signs of movement, all is quiet, things are NOT going bump in the night. You set down to rest, and are at peace… THE BLAM! You're possessed. BE CONSTANTLY ALERT.

Never Give Up!

Summon your will-power, for you shall prevail!

Now like… actually.

But seriously, if you want to survive, find some decent/semi-decent recording equipment, a few audio recorders, good lights or night vision, a group of pals, and then find the local Shriekin' Shack and get your Spook on!

HAPPY "GHOSTOBER"!


From Your Site Articles
Related Articles Around the Web
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

I've always been interested in any product that can get me the Jennifer Lopez-esque natural glow. I'm Indian and have medium-toned skin, so getting darker was never really the goal. Rather, I've always looked for a product that would even out my skin tone and cellulite, basically making my legs look Photoshopped.

Now more than ever we're craving that healthy, tan glow most of us only get after spending a week poolside with margarita in hand. We may not be spending an SPF-soaked summer hitting on our local lifeguards. But when we're going on socially-distanced walks outside, taking viral-worthy selfies, or just want to test out the best self-tanners for when you do finally get to show off all the bikinis you binge-purchased through your quarantine boredom, these are the best to ways to glow up, no matter your shade of skin, whether you have uber-sensitive eczema-ridden skin, or just want J-Lo glow, smooth legs.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Quarantine Checkup Week 10: It's Officially Summer, Even In Quarantine

An Odyssey panel discussion about all things quarantine.

Thanks to coronavirus (COVID-19), most of the United States has gone into its own version of quarantine. While no one loves this new way of life we're adjusting to, it's the necessity that will eventually help us fling open our front doors and frolic freely once again!

Premature thinking? Maybe. But while we're in the midst of this quarantine time, we're chatting about the most terrifying, the funniest, and the weirdest thing that quarantine has forced us into recently.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

13 Father's Day Shirts Under $30 To Gift The Dad Wearing The Same Two Every Day In Quarantine

You've been begging him to change it up, and now he won't have a choice.

Let's be honest: most of our dads are wearing the same shirts today that they probably wore while changing our diapers and holding our hands as we learned to walk. Sure, we love them for it. But whether you're quarantined with him wearing the same two shirts on rotation every week, or every time you FaceTime him, you know what he'll be wearing before he answers the phone, he needs to add some new items to his wardrobe rotation.

And you know dads — they'll feel guilted into using practically anything you were to give them. But these shirts are sure-fire ways to get him to switch up his wardrobe, and he'll be more than excited to wear each and every one of them. Plus, most of them are under twenty dollars, so no harm in dropping more than a couple in to your cart and letting Dad have his pick of his favorites.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down (Virtually) With Hollis Tuttle To Talk About Coronavirus's Impact On The Wellness Industry

Just because coronavirus has greatly impacted the wellness industry doesn't mean wellness stops.

If you're anything like me, your weekly fitness classes are a huge part of your routine. They keep me fit, healthy, and sane. Honestly, these classes help my mental health stay in tip-top shape just as much as they help my physical health.

Due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, gyms and fitness studios are facing temporary closure. Yes, this means my personal routine is thrown a curveball, but this also means the wellness industry is one of many that is looking at unemployment and hardship. Do I miss my Monday spin class? Of course. But do the wellness professionals whose worlds were flipped upside down have a lot more to overcome than a slight change of routine? Absolutely. Thankfully, if anyone can prove the ultimate flexibility, it's the wellness industry.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

My Boyfriend Has Changed Since Quarantine Began, And I Don't Know What To Do

"All he says is 'I love you,' which is great and all but OMG I can't get anything else out of him."

Each week Swoonie B will give her advice on anonymous topics submitted by readers. Want to Ask Swoonie B something related to dating and relationships? Fill out this form here — it's anonymous.

Dear Swoonie B,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, which has been the best year of my life (as far as i know). Well we go to different schools and are both very involved in sports and school activities which makes it hard to see each other. During this quarantine it is especially hard. Since we haven't seen each other in over a week things are kind of tense. He won't really talk to me much and I always check in on him to make sure he is doing well and to just see how he is, ya know being a girlfriend. Well apparently that is driving him crazy and I don't understand how. I'm not being controling or clingy, i'm just checking in on him. While this is happening, I also have noticed how he just doesn't really care anymore. I'll leave him paragraphs of sweet love letters to wake up to and I encourage him throughout his day but I just don't get it in return. I love him with all of me and I obviously care about him a lot. Also, I've compared how he talked to me before all of this has happened. He was so sweet and caring, texting me a lot and telling me he loves me and just making sure everything is OK but he doesn't do that anymore. All he says is "I love you," which is great and all but OMG I can't get anything else out of him. He is a little stressed at home with trying to find another job to pay for his car, constantly having to do things for his mom, being responsible for his siblings, and managing school. I know thats a lot but im doing a lot too right now and going through a lot of the same stuff he is but It seems to me he just does not care and i don't know what to do. Please help me or give me some advice on what to say, what not to say, what to do, what not to do. Anything at this point will help. Thank you!

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "these are unprecedented times," I'd be rich. But that's because it's true!

Keep Reading... Show less
Tower 28

On paper, Amy Liu appears to be one of the most intimidating women in the beauty business. Not only did she launch her beauty marketing career at legendary Smashbox Cosmetics, she went on to lead luxury, high-end brands like Kate Somerville and Josie Maran — just to name a few.

But sitting down to meet Liu for the first time in an underground New York bar over a year ago felt like meeting a friend I'd known since childhood. As she walked into the bar in a chic red dress, it was impossible not to feel her immediate warm presence. When she talks about her history as an entrepreneur (and truly, at heart, she always was one), you don't get the sense that she's selling you anything, though with her impeccable taste, I'd use anything that had her glowing review attached to it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

8 Sustainable Clothing Brands To Use Your Online Shopping Addiction For Good Right Now

Looking to buy eco-friendly clothes? Here are my top 8 favorite brands.

Online shopping has made it easier than ever to buy what you want, anything from clothes to tennis racquets shipped to your doorstep with just a few clicks. Even better, it has made it easier for us to buy from the brands we want. Here is a list of my favorite eco-friendly clothing brands for your next online shopping splurge:

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments