For as long as I can remember, I’ve been wishing away my school years and wanting to fast forward to college. My mom went to college, but she couldn’t finish, and my dad never even started which made me the first in my family to go to college and hopefully graduate. When I was in middle school and thought about high school, there was this preconceived notion that high school would be the best four years of my life. When I got to high school, I concluded that it, in fact, would not be the best four years of my life, but almost the worst four years in my history of schooling.
Freshman year:
My parents got divorced and that took a toll on me, but I also had to deal with a new school, a new schedule system, moving out of the house I grew up in, helping out with my brother, and a part time job. I was stressed, but it helped me learn to balance my time and energy.
Sophomore year:
I got into a new dating relationship this year and that took a toll on me, also. It was not a great relationship, but I learned how to be a girlfriend and how to manage my time even more between a boyfriend, school, and job. My dating relationship, however, put a strain on my relationships with my friends and family. Luckily there were times like the ones in this picture.
Junior year:
This was the worst year of them all. I was having issues with depression and anxiety, which had started when I was in sixth grade. I thought I was handling it pretty well until about the third week in September of my junior year. I had been on top of all my schoolwork and I had been handing things in before the due dates, but then one day I forgot to email myself a copy of a paper that was due and I had the worst anxiety attack of my life. Granted, I’m sure that the attack wasn’t just because I didn’t email myself a paper; I’m sure it was a bunch of things that I just wasn’t dealing with that piled up until my body and brain couldn’t handle it anymore.
That’s when I started having issues with my health, too. Before then, I would always complain about not feeling well, but there was never really anything wrong with me that was noticeable physically, like a fever or the chills. I would complain of headaches and not sleeping well at night, but my parents would blame it on the coffee I would drink before dinner time. This is also the year that I stopped going to my high school and started going to a part time program to help me with my anxiety and depression.
After three weeks there I returned to school, but when I did, I went to the high school in the town my dad lives in. I was only there for about four months before returning to my hometown high school. This is the year I ended my relationship, too. On top of everything I went through, I also dealt with a terrible breakup that led to five court dates in which I missed school and still didn’t get the outcome I wanted or needed. I finished out the year strong, though, as I looked back on all the chaos I dealt with.
Senior year:
My senior year was the best year of high school for me. Starting off, I felt on top of the world. I was friendly with administration and all my teachers, I built relationships with people who became close friends by the end of the year, and I got a taste of what college classes would be like because I was able to take three college level courses my senior year that would transfer credits to the college I would attend the following year.
Going through all of the changes and pain and happiness that I did throughout my high school years, I learned what I really wanted with my life and I got my priorities straight. I realized how much my family means to me, I started a dating relationship my senior year that I am happily still in a year and a half later, and I graduated high school next to my best friends. Graduation was something that I could only dream of and then all of a sudden, there I was in my cap and gown, crying tears of joy, but also tears of sadness knowing that I’d be leaving the very place that shaped me.
High school had it’s good times and bad times, but overall, I wouldn’t change a thing because I’m happy with the way I am now. Going off to college had a lot to do with shaping me, but high school did a lot, too. In May of my Freshman year of college, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis which has had a major impact on my life. Although I refuse to let it define me, I do allow myself to talk about it and give into it sometimes. I have become a better person because of the things I’ve been through and I wouldn’t go back and change any of it even if I could.
