Most people go their entire lives without doing the majority of things they once wanted to do. Some call it a bucket list; I call it a plan. Being able to go out and do the things you want to do is a privilege, and if it’s at all possible I implore you to go out and do all of the “crazy” things you dream about doing. Most people let the fear of the unknown and the fear of instability prevent them from acting on wishes they’ve had their whole lives. Every day I hear people talking about wanting to travel or do this job or go out to this event, and my question always is: why not do it?

This is coming from someone who struggles with moderate to severe anxiety and who has planned everything from an extremely young age. I’ve always been a realist and was never the one to go out to a party without my parents knowing or randomly decide to go on an unplanned trip. I’m not at all impulsive and my daily risks include buying Starbucks when I know I’ve already spent $25 on coffee this week. In spite of all that, I’m here to tell you that doing what you want to do is the most important decision you’ll ever make.

For decades we’ve been told that they only way to be successful in life is to graduate high school, go to college and get a “useful” degree, get a job, get married, buy a house, have a family, and retire. In that order. This cookie cutter life has, in recent years, proven not to be the right direction for everyone. However, you would be surprised at how many people still feel this is the only way to go if they want to end up successful and happy. What a degree could never prepare you for-- and what no one else can truly explain to you-- is that there’s no one path that can guarantee your happiness.

Recently I’ve come to understand that there are no universals in this world. Though there may be averages and similarities between people, there is no universal way to achieve happiness. In fact, you might not know what will make you happy for the first quarter (or more) of your life. But you’ll never know what does or doesn’t make you happy unless you try out multiple paths. This doesn’t mean that you have to constantly switch jobs or figure out some hidden passion that you didn’t know you had, it simply means that you can’t count on one set plan to make you happy, and that you have to be open to trying other ways of life. What may start out seeming strange or foreign to you may end up being what you were missing all along.

While this might sound cheesy or cliche, you’d be surprised at how many people hear these types of statements, think they understand them, but continue to live their lives too afraid to step into the unknown and deviate from the path they initially had lain out for them. The most important part of this message is that you need to find out what you want to do and what would make you the happiest-- even if that does mean living more modestly, leaving someone behind, or disappointing someone you care about. No one can tell you what you want or what will work out for you.

Though you should value the opinions of others and respect the advice that people with more experience may give you, you also must consider what you know about yourself and how you want to feel when you’re looking back on your life. Fear should not prevent you from taking a job somewhere you never thought you’d go or from skipping out on graduate school or from deciding not to have kids or get married. Measure each and every moment on the amount of overall happiness given, whether that be happiness that you earn for yourself or happiness given to you by the happiness of others.

I challenge you to make a list this New Year of things that you think would make you the happiest. Based on this list, create a loose plan for the year of things you want to strive for and milestones you want to reach. At the end of the year, adjust the plan and add to it the things you think will make you the happiest for the following year. Accept the fact that, while your plan may be ever-changing, you aren’t actually leaving anything behind. Instead, you’re adding to your goals and desires and creating your own path to the happiness you deserve. Do not let the fear of change or the fear of disappointment prevent you from acting on behalf of your own happiness.

“To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.” - Walter Mitty