My Long-Term Relationship Ended And I’ve Never Been Happier

My Long-Term Relationship Ended And I've Never Been Happier

It took losing you to find myself, and for that I am thankful.

308
views

Trying to navigate relationships through the awkward stages of college is hard. Some of your friends are getting married right out of high school. Others are mindlessly 'swiping right' and sliding into strangers DM's trying to catch that quick, meaningless hookup. Tinder, that awkward 'talking' stage, the concept of 'cuffing season'; how is dating in college supposed to work?

I fell into the category of people who went off to college madly in love. Fresh out of high school, the young, naïve, helpless romantic that was 18-year-old me thought without a doubt that I would be marrying this person sometime in the next five years.

Boy, was I wrong.

If you've ever been in a long-term relationship before, at some point, you find yourself asking "are they the one?". After months of long distance, I found myself asking "is she the one?" far too often than anyone in a healthy relationship should.

Countless nights out with friends and family given up, doing things I didn't want to do, transferring schools to avoid more long-distance, I was sacrificing my happiness to make someone else happy. I thought that the long nights waiting for a phone call and the weeks I would wait to see her over school breaks would all be worth it. Why? Because I cared about her and I saw our future together. You're supposed to make personal sacrifices for the people you love.

At least that was the version of love that Nicholas Spark's portrayed it to be.

Just because you two have been through a lot together; have grown to love each other's families; have made a lifetime worth of memories, or have talked through what your future as a couple may hold is no reason to stay together if you are unhappy.

It's easy to become dependent in a long-term relationship. I became so reliant on my partner that I was willing to sacrifice my happiness out of the fear of being alone.

Who would I have to talk to, to take to family events, to walk around campus with? Who would I take to see that new movie or try out that new restaurant I've been dying to go to? We have so many jokes and memories together, who was I supposed to make new ones with?

Regardless of all of these 'what-if's,' to no one's surprise, my long-term relationship ended. For the first time in months, I was alone, with nothing or no one to worry about but the future that was ahead of me. At first, I was scared. However, as the months after our separation passed, I began to rediscover who I was before this relationship.

I made new friends and new memories; walked around campus alone; joined a gym; started making music again, and even treated myself to that new restaurant and movie that I'd been dying to go to.

I fell in love with my single-self and became okay with being alone, and I've never been happier.

Moving on from a relationship with someone you've loved for a long time is hard. At times you miss the comfort and security that this person once brought you. However, these new relationships and experiences will bring you a lifetime of memories that you may have never experienced if you had continued to let your relationship hold you back.

Check out to that new restaurant alone. Go out and make memories with your new friends. Put yourself out there. Love yourself.

Your identity is not tied to the people you once dated. You don't need a boyfriend or girlfriend to give your life meaning and purpose.

In typical Ariana fashion, to my ex, wherever you may be, thank you. Thank you for the memories, the jokes, the countless new experiences. Thank you for showing me all the things that I truly deserve. Thank you for teaching me how to stand up for myself and put my happiness first. Thank you for loving me. I wish you nothing but the best.

Popular Right Now

32 Reasons Why I Love My Best Friend

The list stops at 32, but I could go on forever.
110931
views

My best friend is my soul mate, and I am so lucky that this crazy world brought us together.

1. She has and always will put up with my ridiculousness.

2. She has seen me cry, and I have seen her cry, and we are both ugly criers.

3. We can sit in silence for 20 minutes, and it’s not weird.

4. But most of the time we cannot shut up.

5. This includes three-hour phone and Skype calls about anything and everything.

6. I know what she’s going to say before she says it.

7. Eye contact is all that is needed to communicate sometimes. This definitely comes in handy when we have an opinion that shouldn’t be verbalized.

8. Even when she laughs at me, I still feel loved.

9. We find the dumbest things funny.

10. We have reoccurring jokes that normal people just find odd.

11. She accepts every part of me including my flaws.

12. She talks me through hard situations without fail.

13. She tells me when I’m being unreasonable, and I don’t get mad.

14. She listens to me whine about the same guy and still hasn’t given up on me.

15. But gets more excited than anyone when a guy treats me right.

16. But you have both agreed that life would be easier if we could just marry each other.

17. What’s mine is hers, and what’s hers is mine.

18. This includes, but is not limited to clothes AND food (and that is a big deal for me).

19. She knows exactly how to cheer me up. Most of the time cupcakes do the trick but if they don't, somehow she make me feel better with insides jokes or just plain silence.

20. She has seen me at my worst and still loves me.

21. She will see movies meant for 8-year-olds with me and we will, no doubt, laugh the loudest.

22. She will watch"The Bachelor" with me and will secretly love it. Don’t worry ... No judgment from this side.

23. She will teach me the art of taking a good picture.

24. She gets me out of my comfort zone and makes me do things that I am iffy about at first.

25. But hanging out in our pajamas and talking all-night isn’t abnormal either.

26. Being apart for a long time is no biggie because when we are reunited it’s like nothing had separated us!

27. We plan on traveling the world together.

28. We plan on being roommates in the future.

29. I love her family and she loves mine.

30. We fight like sisters and then we apologize and get over it.

31. We talk about the craziness we will participate in together when we are 80.

32. I can’t imagine my life without her.

Cover Image Credit: brokenbutfree.org

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Dear Dads, Every Day Is Father's Day, Especially Today

To all the wonderful dads out there: you are LOVED!

15
views

Today, we celebrate you dad. Whether you're the sports dad, the music dad, the car dad, the engineer dad, the math dad, the religious dad, the protective dad, or some combination of the above, we want to celebrate you!

You have showed us what it means to be hard-working.

You tend to work overtime at your job and bring your work home. You care a ton about your employees and treat them with the utmost respect. You deal with your clients carefully, determined to fully satisfy their requests of your company. You have taught us to work diligently until the task is finished, take your time on projects to ensure completion to the highest standard, and always communicate effectively with clients and employees.

You have showed us what it means to be loyal.

You've remained loyal to caring for the family for as long as we have been alive. You've remained loyal to your clients and employees. You've remained loyal to your trade by pursuing it for over 25 years. You've remained loyal to us by attending our ceremonies and graduations. You've remained loyal to our mom by staying married and working through everything. You've remained loyal to your siblings by always being a shoulder for them. You've remained loyal to your parents by making time to remind them they are loved. Most importantly, you've remained loyal to the Lord, our Father through your faith and example as a dad. You have stayed loyal to all of these things, showing us what it means to remain steadfast and what things in life are worth our complete loyalty.

You have showed us what it means to love and be loved.

You've showed us that true love is not always rainbow and unicorns. We see the ups and downs that life brings you. We see that sometimes it is too difficult to show others love. We see the perfect example of how to balance life and love through you. You've showed us that to love others is to care deeply for them. You've showed us that to love others is to always want the best possible outcome for them. You've showed us that to love others is to pray for them. You've given us unconditional, everlasting love through your words, actions, support, and guidance. We've learned how to accept love, reciprocate love, and give love to those who need it most.

It is because of you dad, that we were able to grow up into the hard-working, loyal, and loving people we are today. For that, we are forever grateful. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Let's celebrate them today and every day!

Related Content

Facebook Comments