I Only Ghost Those Who Haunt Me

I'm A 'Ghoster,' But Not In The Way You Might Think

If you push me away, then I will go away. You're welcome.

42
views

The act of "ghosting" has gotten a lot of attention recently for very good reasons.

By definition, "ghosting" means "the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication."

This act of ceasing communication with no explanation has gotten mixed reviews from people who've had different experiences with being ghosted, and most will tell you it's a painful, humiliating experience brought on by a coward that doesn't know how to communicate.

Overall, I agree with this. There is almost nothing more annoying than being treated so kindly by someone special and then tossed out like a piece of garbage just because the "ghoster" doesn't recognize a good relationship when they see one.

Given my dislike of the whole "ghosting" phenomenon, you might be surprised when I tell you I myself am a "ghoster".

You may be thinking I'm a bit hypocritical by claiming to be part of a category I despise, but I believe there are circumstances where ghosting is probably the most effective way to end a relationship while also saving your mental sanity.

In some situations, talking it out with the person can do more harm than good, especially when dealing with a narcissist.

People in this category have a special way of twisting your words around and making you feel like you're the problem when you're not.

In this circumstance, the best thing to do is cut off contact.

For example, today I ended a friendship of almost 4 years, and I feel like I'm on top of the world!

I'll admit we had some happy memories, but I spent most of those years feeling horrible about myself because of her.

I was verbally abused, talked down to, insulted both face-to-face and behind my back, etc. You name it, she did it.

After dealing with her temper all day yesterday and having to be calmed down by my other friends involved, I lost it. I simply walked away from her physically and mentally. To say I'd had enough would be the understatement of the year.

Maybe it's because I'm a Cancer, or maybe it's just a personal thing, but when I am in a relationship with someone who mistreats me, I will immediately stop putting the effort in.

I will simply mentally check out because I don't have the energy to deal with people who clearly don't care about me.

I spent most of my life trying to fix other's mistakes when they hurt me, and I don't have the mental energy to do that anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I had attempted to communicate with her about her actions before, but she clearly didn't see the fault in her ways. She simply defended herself in order to protect her ego and destroy my confidence.

After that, I realized communicating with her would prove to be ineffective. "Ghosting" was the way to go.

I wasn't taking the easy way out. I was taking the sane way out.

Don't get mad at me for "ghosting" you when your actions haunted me for years.

If you want to pretend like I don't exist, I'll simply fulfill your prophecy.

Good riddance.

Popular Right Now

Here It Is, The REAL Reason You're Single

Being single is a choice, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

74
views

It seems that any woman claiming her independence and declaring that she, in fact, likes being single is met with the same reaction every time. She's bitter or cynical or maybe just lying to herself so she can rest easier at night.

Whether it's society's incessant pressuring or primal nature screaming "MAKE BABIES," single girls are forced into thinking, What's wrong with me?

But, in most cases, a woman isn't single because she's unlovable or disagreeable — it's simply because she's strong enough to hold out for the right person. And maybe, just maybe, she's content with that.

I know, you've heard it before. But that doesn't make it any less true. I see so many people in miserable relationships (and have been in them), and I just think about how much better it feels to be free, rather than bogged down by someone I know isn't right for me.

Single girls are single because they know their worth and value their time. Apps like Tinder and Bumble make it easy to start relationships, so, for the most part, if you really wanted a significant other, you could find one.

But why waste a second on something you know isn't right?

Of course, this is no slam on people in relationships. If you find someone that makes you happy, that is more than enough reason to be with him/her. And if it doesn't work out, that's OK. I'm talking about entering into relationships that you know from the get-go aren't worth a shot.

And for me personally, I enjoy being single. I know, crazy right? I don't even know if I'd be completely ready for the 'right person' just yet. I love focusing on my friendships and flirting freely and knowing that there is nobody wondering where I am at all hours. Except, maybe, my mom.

Not everyone's world revolves around romance. And why should it have to?

Especially as you get older, people tend to treat being 'alone' like it's some sort of disease you have. But being single isn't something that is sad or embarrassing. And, by the way, not having a significant other in no way means you're actually alone.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

To The Girl Telling Herself She Doesn't 'Catch Feelings,' Stop Lying To Yourself

"Catching feels" is not synonymous with a sickness, but with embracing the human capacity to feel that we all too often neglect.

37
views

We're all guilty of it. We think we have this incredible Great Wall of China protecting our vulnerability; however, we tend to overestimate its security with defense mechanisms that could potentially hurt us in the long-term, concerning the formation of future relationships.

We must let others in to embrace the process of falling for someone

If you're like me, constantly busy and preoccupied with life's demands (sometimes going days without proper inhalation and exhalation), we become almost numb and ignorant of our emotions, mostly as a result from not putting ourselves out there. But this lack of experience is wrongly mistaken for the notion of attachment resistance. It's OK to focus on yourself, but after a while, it is necessary and fun to reawaken those feelings and jubilant moods associated with falling for someone, because in the midst of life's madness, we often forget how to feel.

Do not attempt to avoid to "catch feels" like it's the plague

We're consistently bombarded with false advice from society to avoid "catching feels," or falling for someone, no matter the costs. Why is it suddenly so frowned upon to actually like someone you met? Why should we feel shame in wanting to continue a relationship with this person? Dating is evidently complicated in the 21st century, but don't let this make you try to consciously repress those newly-formed feelings since repression essentially leads to escalation. Embrace the feels because it's the human thing to do.

Loosen your wall's bricks with vulnerability

Some of our jerk-alert senses are more activated than others, mostly due to past experiences, but it's important to hammer into our heads that they're not all the same.

Stop lying to yourself. No matter how much you repress it, you will feel, you will get attached, and you will allow yourself to do this, despite what the norm is for what "dating" is today. Break off from your defense mechanisms and your wall will slowly follow. Remember: "catching feels" is not synonymous with sickness, but with embracing the human capacity to feel that we all too often neglect.

Related Content

Facebook Comments