Here’s the thing about having Generalized Anxiety, you never know why it hits you.
One time I was walking to my Bio Lab class and I made it to the outside of Temple Hall and I started crying uncontrollably. I sat outside the building with tears streaming down my face and tried to figure out why I couldn’t stop crying. I composed myself well enough to walk into the building, and go up to my teacher, but unfortunately when I began to tell her I was having a panic attack I started crying again. Suffice to say I did not take my semi-final that day.
The other thing about Generalized Anxiety is you never know when it’s going to hit you.
I was sitting in my psychology class listening to my teacher lecture about phobias when all of a sudden she switched slides and before me sat a gigantic picture of a spider. Due to my anxiety, I freaked out. My seat happened to be in the middle of the row, in the middle of the room so I could not make a hasty retreat. I had to sit there with this huge spider staring me down and try to pay attention to what the professor was saying. I stared at my feet through the whole thing, and I did not hear a word.
Another wonderful thing about Generalized Anxiety is that I have yet to figure out how to cope.
I have tried so many things to try to combat my anxiety attacks. I have tried the grounding method, I have tried pills, I have tried herbal remedies. Nothing works. Every time it hits I have to use every bit of strength I have to try and keep myself upright and breathing properly. I cannot think about anything else because if I take my mind off of my breathing, I’m afraid I’ll stop.
My anxiety is like internet explorer. I need to look something up so I try to open the browser window and because it takes forever to load and I am an impatient person, I keep clicking. All of a sudden there are 37 windows open and the computer has frozen. Now I am stuck trying to make sense of the mess I’ve made while still seeking an answer for my original question.
One of these days I will learn my lesson. One of these days I will download Google Chrome, or Mozilla Firefox and Internet Explorer will be a thing of the past. For now, I’ll just try to click less.
