Barn Dance, Hayride, formal… There are so many dances and events that need dates and not enough confidence in me to talk to the boys that I need to take. Which begs the question, when will I meet the guy for me?

Or better yet, will I ever meet a guy for me? Like, am I allowed to have relationships? Because it seems like the universe doesn't want me to have any progress with any guy. Every guy that I meet always ends up ghosting me and then they never talk to me ever again, which sucks a lot because it happens the exact moment I start to catch feelings for them. Which in turn makes me think that the world is out to get me, of course.

I know that I shouldn't bank on the idea of trying to find a relationship, especially since I should be focusing on school. But whenever I least expect it that's when I get hit hard. Then I can't let go and I get upset when a guy and I stop talking because I can't help but think that the issue is me and I that I'm not pretty enough to attract the guy so that he will stay with me.

And then I tell people they say that he wasn't the one. But does that mean that every other guy that has passed on me wasn't the right one? That's like a shit ton of guys! You'd think by this age, I would have met someone that liked me and I liked them back but nope. I just wish I could change things about me in order to find the right kind of boy that I'm interested in. I just want to find someone that I click well with and have an uninterrupted conversation at a party or some sort of social event.

I wish I could bring myself to be able to talk to boys in any setting, I literally can't even say "Hi". I tense up and start to be awkward when it comes to trying to interact with the opposite sex. Everyone says that I'll find the person for me if I'm patient and that's the thing. I've been patient for years now. I've been waiting while watching all my friends enter relationships while I stay single.

And so, I've lost all hope and it sucks for me being on a campus with a ton of cute boys. I have spent so much time trying to find "the one", when will he find me?