Searching For Your Other Half And Why It Is Complete Garbage

In "The Symposium," Plato writes:

"According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”

I am sorry, Plato, but Greek mythology also stated that Zeus was in, like, the worst marriage ever. He cheated on his wife on the daily, and a lot of his affairs were not even consensual. Add his psycho wife, Hera, into the mix -- who had a nasty habit of regularly turning Zeus' mistresses into animals -- or just straight up murdering them -- and you can see why I might not want to take romantic advice from Greek myths.

The myth Plato mentioned is his own way of explaining the concept of soul mates. 

Please note, I am only a 21 year old girl who still prefers her macaroni shaped like cartoon characters, so I won't pretend to be some all-knowing entity.

I don't know if soul mates are a thing or not. Maybe they are. Maybe they aren't. Maybe soul mates are romantic lovers, or maybe you can be soul mates with your best friend or even with your dog -- sometime your dog just gets you, you know? Life is weird and, oftentimes, completely unexplainable, so I do not think any of us are really in a position to decide whether soul mates exist or not. 

The soul mates part of the myth does not bother me. Here is the part that really drives me crazy: "Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves."

So, according to the worst husband ever -- Zeus -- we are all condemned to feel empty and incomplete for our entire lives, or at least until we find "the one." The thing is, Plato, I am not half of a person. My mother did not raise half of a girl. I was, am, and will always be a complete person, all on my own. My life is not dedicated to finding someone to complete me because I can complete myself.

I know so many beautiful, smart, kind, intelligent people who truly believe that without a significant other, they cannot be whole. They base their happiness and self-worth on whether or not the object of their affections likes them back or not. And it breaks my heart. Even without a significant other, everyone in the entire world deserves to be happy and deserves to feel that they are worth something, no matter what their current relationship status is on Facebook. 

Too many people are so caught up in finding the one person that they think will complete their life, that they don't put any effort into living because, in their minds, they cannt be happy on their own, so why bother? They so firmly believe that they cannot experience happiness or fulfillment without a significant other that they don't even try to be happy or fulfilled on their own. 

I am the complete opposite of a love expert. I cannot even figure out what it means when boys use certain emojis (looking at you, 'slightly smirking and looking to the right' emoji), so I am definitely not an authority on how to go about loving other people. I cannot tell anyone how to live their life. But I do believe that more people should figure out how to complete themselves, instead of sitting around waiting for someone to come along and do it for them. Instead of worrying so much about how to find your soul mate, focus more on becoming the kind of person you can be proud of. Focus on achieving your goals and focus on chasing your dreams. All of the best couples I know did not find each other because they were focusing on love. They were going about their lives and working toward their own futures when love just happened to them. 

I am not going to be the kind of person who goes out of her way to find the one. The only thing I am ever going to chase is my own happiness. Despite what Zeus seems to think, I was not put on this Earth solely to find somebody to love me. I do not exist just to be someone else's girlfriend, or wife, or lover. I have bigger dreams than that. 

I still have a lot to learn about life and love, but I think the greatest love in your life should always be yourself. Loving yourself unconditionally –– faults and all –– is so much harder than loving someone else. Learning to love yourself is a journey you will have to undergo for the rest of your life. I hope that someday, while learning self-acceptance, I find a special person who makes that journey a little easier and more enjoyable, but I also know that it is not a necessity. My happiness depends on me, and me alone.