It's currently 5:03 AM in Hendaye, France: a small town located on the border of Spain and my home country. I'm not awake that early because I have a great habit of getting up early: in reality, I've been up all night from bad sunburns on my entire upper back, shoulders, and feet, that have prevented me from laying down in any position without hurting.
At about 4:20 AM, my grandpa woke up to go drive my uncle and aunt to the airport, as well as pick up my sister's boyfriend from a neighboring city, as he's also on vacation and visiting us for the day.
I got up from the couch, still tired, and ate breakfast with him before he got behind the wheel. The calmness of the atmosphere brought me a peace of mind I forgot I craved, not due to a lack of wanting, but a simple lack of discipline.
I love early mornings. Happiness #1. But they don't come easy. I simply cannot wake up if I don't go to bed early enough, and don't time my alarms according to my approximated sleep cycles.
Then, after a cup of coffee, I decided to try to go back to sleep. But, laying on the couch, headphones playing my calm "Breath" playlist, a thought began to bother me. I had noticed that the dishwasher was full and ready to be emptied, and my grandma wasn't up yet. I knew that I wasn't going to be falling asleep anytime soon, so unloading it wouldn't be much of a chore, as it didn't require much thinking. It's a tranquil activity, and I especially enjoy it when nothing else is going on around me. So I got up and did just that.
As I began to take plates out of the machine, "It Feels Like Floating" was up next on my playlist. The song is long (11 minutes and 31 seconds to be exact), gradual, and extremely calm. My mind wandered as my hands did all the work. I reminded myself that (one of) my main love language is doing little things for people I care about. There is no better feeling for me than doing something big or small for someone, a little out of my way, with the satisfaction of a simple or thank you from the other person. I began to imagine myself doing the exact same thing for a girlfriend, or wife; leaving a note after a sleepless night saying I fixed breakfast, and a couple nice words so she can start the day a little better.
But none of those two happinesses will just come to me. To wake up at 5 AM, I have to respect and follow a strict sleeping schedule. For my second hapiness, I have to both remember to do things for people, and work on my discipline, health, and life overall so that I would be able to sustain myself (both mentally, physically and economically) the day I meet someone that I can love.
None of those two things are very big. None of those two points should matter to anyone but me in the grand scheme of things. However, although small, the mental ballad I had just an hour ago was tender enough for me to realize that I do have to work for it. A small, imagined scenario was enough for me to realize that I need a lot more discipline in my life. Small things that make one feel at peace impact not only them, but the people they're around even more.
It's not enough to want what makes you happy. You need to work for it. It doesn't have to be big either. It's often the small things that matter.
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