Find love and happiness at the little things. Not in people.
Health and Wellness

Don't Try To Buy Happiness, It Won't Work

Material things aren't worth much compared to life.

Chau Tang

Ever since I was in high school, I didn't have things I can accomplish. I didn't have friends nor did I have a support system. SO I always envied those who had friends who could back you up and fight for you no matter what.

Instead, I always tried to care less by going shopping. That was my favorite form of therapy. Indeed I felt better wearing the fabulous outfit I bought and yes, I was excited to try on the new makeup. Over the years, instead of sulking or writing out my feelings, I would go shopping and wonder what I wanted. It was never what I needed.

I recently stopped doing retail therapy, mainly because I do not want to end up broke before I even have a job. Instead, I like to walk Downtown Cleveland and people watch. Walking alone sounds lonely to most people but for me, it's very comforting. Sometimes, I walk in silence through the cold air and imagine myself being hugged by an invisible force.

Breathing in the cold air makes me feel warm because I can feel it. I know most people cannot. Going out and increasing my skills and knowledge just by talking to people makes me feel useful and smart.

I am tired of waiting on the sidelines. I want to be the center of attention in my life. I would rather ask myself what I need today to fulfill my happiness. Do I really need to watch five episodes on Netflix? Do I really want to go to a cafe and be friendly to people and wave? What do I want to do today? What am I grateful for today? These are the questions I ask myself whenever I'm hard on myself.

It would be easier to pick up the phone and invite a friend out but I need to learn how to be by myself. What happens if you're not friends with them anymore and you depended on their friendship? What happens then?

I am an only child and I have learned to be fiercely independent but I know I can be clingy too. I have learned to not be as clingy and just want love. But, I would rather show myself some love first.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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