The word "feminism" comes with an often negative connotation. People who refuse to claim the label of "feminist" think they are refusing to be labeled as man-haters. They think they are refusing a label of "crazy women that wish to be better than men." However, the confusion and ignorance of the term "feminism" is the real issue. People view feminism as a bad thing, not because it is, but because they do not know what it means, and society has told them it means women want to be better than men.
Feminism is "the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities." Straight from Merriam-Webster's dictionary, that is the definition, plain and simple. The problem is, people still have a tough time wrapping their heads around what equality really is. I'm here to break down the social aspect of it all for you.
When it comes to dating, equality would mean the man cannot always just be expected to pay for dates. Does that mean feminists think we should flip the script and women should pay for all of the dates? No, absolutely not. It just means the man cannot be expected to always pay for dates. That means, it can be different for however couples think their dates work best. Maybe the man and women take turns paying, maybe they always split it, maybe whoever asks who on the date pays, or maybe the last person to receive a paycheck pays for the date. The man can even still pay for every date in your relationship if that's how you both choose to do it! Or the woman can pay for every date if you both decide. The point here is just that you do not get a free pass because you are a woman or do not automatically get screwed because you are a man.
I've heard women say that they don't agree with feminism because they still want men to be gentlemen towards them. They want to be walked home and they want the door to be held open for them.I also love to be walked to my door and it's incredibly nice when someone holds the door open for me, but I can do that too. No one really needs to hold open a door for me or walk me to my car or door, I'm more than capable. In fact, I'm surprisingly just as capable of opening a door as a man. So, if we're both capable, and he holds the door open for me, I can hold open a door for him every once in a while, or walk him back to his door.
Feminists, as you might be starting to see already, does not mean women want things to be equal only where it benefits them. Feminism means, yes, we want equal pay for equal work and many of us want to have careers. Some of us don't want to be expected to bear children or thought of as a waste if we don't. We want to be treated as though we are just as capable of doing anything men do, because we are. We want the opportunity to be promoted as far as a man can be. We believe women should not be judged by their sexual activity or how they dress and should not be held responsible for their own rape. We also believe women rapists should be punished as severely as men and men who are raped are not held at fault. We believe women should be drafted if men should. Women can help their family take out the trash, learn how to change the oil in their car or change a tire. Women can also become stay-at-home mom's, cook for their families every night, bake a lot, and do most of the cleaning, if they wish. Feminism does not prevent women from doing traditionally female things, it just destroys the expectation.
Enough about women gaining the rights of men, though. What about men gaining some of the rights women have? Feminism, as much as you may believe, is not all about women, it is, as said before, about equality. So, does that mean we believe men can be stay-at-home dad's while the wives make the dominant household income? Absolutely. We believe men show emotions as much as women. It should not be seen as weak for men to cry, be in love, or ask for help. If a man needs help opening a jar and he knows the woman next to him can probably open it, because she works out every other day and he has an office job and doesn't really go to the gym ever, why should he not be able to ask her for help? Men should not have to be physically strong to be considered real men. For every woman that wishes she didn't have to "prove it" every time she said she was a sports fan, there is a man that wishes he didn't have to pretend to like sports in fear of being called "unmanly" or "girly."
Finally, to answer the never-ending question, no, this does not mean men can now hit women unscathed. I still do not believe anyone should be hitting anyone, man or woman.
Feminism does not mean women think they are superior to men, nor does it mean women only want to be treated equally when it is beneficial to them. Feminists simply want men and women to be treated equally in all aspects, whether that benefits the man, the woman, both, or neither.
