On Christmas Eve of 2014, I attended my first run with the Woodside Sunnyside Runners. I still remember how wet and rainy it was. Walking to Windmuller Park I started thinking twice about going through with the run. I had some anxiety about meeting this running group and didn’t know if I’d be able to keep up or if I’d even get along with them. When I felt the drops of water dripping from the tree branches above me, I thought it was fair to bail since who would run in the rain? But then I recalled the promise I made myself to at least meet with them once. I had been running consistently on my own, but I was ready to commit to training for a small race, maybe a 10k. So I kept walking down 52nd street to the park.

When I got to the park entrance I found two guys there. I introduced myself to Jay and Brian, the two runners who braved the weather and came out in the rain for the three mile run. Jay was the leader of the running group, and that day was the first time in months that he had come out to run due to an injury, so thankfully it would be a steady and slower paced run. We ran together through Sunnyside into Long Island City and turned back once we hit Queensboro Plaza. To my surprise Jay and Brian never left me behind, and I was able to keep up all the while. We went to brunch afterwards and met up with a couple of other runners from the group. They were all welcoming and seemed to get along so well that I couldn’t help but meet with them on their next run. I was soon identifying myself as a Woodside Sunnyside Runner.

That August I had started running, about three days a week. That same month I also began an art project for myself. I decided to call it, A Drawing A Day, thinking that I would commit to finishing one drawing a day for the next year, no excuses. That’s how I had been dealing with much of my life thus far- all or nothing. Honestly, I thought this was the standard everyone lived by, and I just wanted to be on par and meet those measures. Of course what often times happened is I would let myself down and jump ship upon seeing that I wouldn’t be able to finish something quite the way I had wanted. The project went well until October, when I fell off the wagon for a couple of weeks due to some personal matters.

While I paused on creating drawings for my project, I kept running. Running let me burst onto the street even if I was only running at eleven minutes per mile. I was lighter, braver, shedding my fears and anxieties for the duration of that run. I was hooked and wanted more of those feelings of being liberated, fearless, and boundless. As my runs got longer I started thinking more about other things in my life and in the news. During one 4-mile run I started to brainstorm on how to make a drawing about the ebola epidemic that was affecting West Africa. After I got home I started working on that drawing that became part of a small series I called, Feelings from Afar. Because of running I was able to jump back on the project and pedal forward.

Without knowing it, the running group affected my art process even more by teaching me how to pace myself and how to gage my progress in relation to myself and no one else. When I joined them for my first long run I let the lead runner, Heather, know that I was simply looking to run the longest I could do, probably 8 miles. When we all reached 8 miles I still had energy and Heather encouraged me to try and run another mile. I was able to finish running 10 miles, my longest run. Frankly I couldn’t believe I had it in me to run that long.

Now I find myself training for this year’s New York City Marathon, and I no longer doubt myself. I’ve continued working on my art projects, am applying to MFA programs for next year, and recently moved to Philadelphia with my boyfriend. The methods to conquer anxiety and self doubt I’ve learned through running have continued to impact other parts of my life for the better. I won’t let myself down as long as I try my best. It’s a simple thought, but it’s taken me a long time to arrive here and this same thought is now taking me further than ever before with my running and my art.