I have always heard that communication is the key to all relationships; I live it at times. But, recently something happened. Let's take a look into my journal.
So, for the longest, I shared with my person that I needed an editor for so many reasons, and she told me that she would volunteer to help. Of course, I got excited and we agreed that she would be my go-to person. Just a few weeks later one of my prayers were answered, and an editor contacted me and she helped me just as I prayed for.
I got so excited that I sent her all the screenshots, and she went "who is she?" I was like a new editor. She was like good then I guess she could help, and I was like she sure will. One thing to know about me is that if I am excited and I am texting you, I will make sure that you sense my excitement through the messages. Then, my article was published and she goes, “did she help? she is good, you should keep her,” and I answered, she is such a sweetheart she is a keeper.
Later on, when I was talking to her I called her a sleepy head because of her routine, and she replied “I had to sleep off you taking a new editor and maybe it's for the best.” I was so lost that I told her I don't understand her message since I made it clear that my new editor was Heaven sent and we both knew it. From that moment I sensed that something was wrong when I told her that this new editor is from Odyssey and I would never randomly choose someone like that out of nowhere (thing that she knows). So, I had to explain the whole thing again for her to understand.
You might be thinking this was just a normal misunderstanding, but no it wasn't, it was more than that. To me, I was just sharing my excitement with her, and since I sent her all the info, I just assumed that we would be on the same page. But, that wasn't the case. I hurt her without knowing it. The whole time she thought that I just chose someone else over her without a WARNING. How many times have you felt like that and not speak up?
The problem with many relationships is not even miscommunication, but it's unspoken expectations. Unspoken expectation is pretty much when we think people can read our minds like s/he should know this, no s/he won't know unless you tell her/him. In the scenario above, you can see how there was a miscommunication at the beginning. But, you can also see how she spoke up. If she never spoke up, I probably would never know what was going on, and she would probably just build up wrong ideas about our friendship, and I would never get the chance to explain her everything over.
After everything, I told her that I think that is why we have the best friendship. We talk about things when we feel like things that are not going well. We do not just sit there and be mad in our heads, we just tell each other how we feel. I also took that time to tell her to cut my person in law (her husband "Mr. D") some slack because if I couldn't read her mind, so can't he.
Friends, in all sort of relationship there will be some sort of miscommunication or/and misunderstanding whether intentional or unintentional. We cannot just assume that people will just know how we feel without telling them. I used to do that a lot and it wasn't healthy. Now, I know you might be thinking what about the people that purposely hurt you and don't care, I know that exists that's a whole other topic in itself that I'll maybe touch on another piece. But, until then keep on speaking up dear friend.
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