I've always been a very honest and upfront person. It's not hard for me to tell someone what my intentions are or what I'm thinking. I definitely do it more often than any other person I know if I'm being honest. That's just how I operate, sharing my feelings and always attempting to know as much as I can about the situations I put myself in. It's very important to be open when you're talking to someone. Not only is it impossible for them to read your mind, but it also gives you the opportunity to see where they stand.
People generally know how they feel about someone.
They either place you in a category right off the bat, or they take their time to figure out if you're someone they want to be with. Neither of these situations is bad as long as both people are on the same page. Do you choose to keep hanging out with the guy that tells you he's not looking for anything serious? Are you in a place where you are able to hang out with him and not get jealous when you find out he has other girls he's talking to? In this scenario, you know what he wants and choose to go along with it. You have the power to stop seeing someone you know is still dating around. This power only comes with an open conversation from the beginning about what you both want.
The same goes for if you're not ready to be in a relationship. It's only fair to tell the person you are talking to that you're not ready for anything serious. Don't pretend you're ready to be committed when you know you're not just to keep someone around. It only hurts the other person and does a disservice to yourself. Things will line up at the right time if they are meant to. In this scenario a relationship formed after a supportive friendship and time of really getting to know each other can be the strongest.
When it comes to hooking up with people, being upfront from the jump is extremely important.
Laying down the law before emotions get involved shows great maturity and respect. Having sex with someone causes a lot of biological changes we aren't always prepared for. Feelings can change very quickly, so it is important to be clear. One must also reflect often on themselves and their own feelings in the case of a long-term hook-up buddy. I often see one person wanting more than the other and holding onto hope because the truth has not been discussed. They read into every little word or message that someone says trying to prove they are going to be something more. When you listen, people tell you exactly what they want. If someone wants to be with you, they will make it happen. If they aren't making the effort then you shouldn't waste your time anyway.
Above all else, when you know what you want, you have to act. Go with what feels right. Do not play the victim or keep yourself around someone you know doesn't value you as you should be valued. It's always better to do what makes you happy and makes you feel good. Know your worth and have high expectations when you're ready to be with someone for real.
