I recently came across an article by a creator who writes for the same publication I do. The title was genius. #Clickbait. But that is where the genius ended. Why Black Men Don't Date Black Women is easily one of the most problematic, uneducated, ill-informed and poorly written collection of falsities I have come across in a while, and yes I say that having read Fox News articles. Honestly, it was so bad, it gave me gas. #fixitjesus
Bear with me as I break it down.
1. The entire first paragraph
Okay, the "writer" states that "ever since attending a [predominately white institution], [she had] heard the phrases "I don't date black girls" or "black women are too difficult," from what I am assuming had to be a substantial amount of black men. My two questions are; what Four Loko drinking, skid marks in their boxers having, bird chest in a wife-beater wearing, crusty-heeled black men told her this? And what ghetto, back of the woods, racist institution does or did she attend? This would also suggest that the "writer" believes had she attended an HBCU (Historically Black College or University) that she would have been surrounded by black men a little more *how do I say...* WOKE. Most likely, and maybe she would be a little more versed on issues within the black community herself.
Overwhelming studies show that the majority of black men do indeed marry black women. In 2017, 85% of married black men were married to black women, while only 9% of married black men were married to white women. So, what is this girl even talking about?
In fact, the biggest reason as to why so many black women are single is mathematics. Black women outnumber black men. Period.
She went on to say that white men seemed to "praise" black women and that black men seemed to have a "big problem" with black women. Another study points out that black men are twice as likely to marry interracially than black women. So, let's do a little bit of math. If 15% of married black men have married interracially, that means that only 7.5% of married black women have done the same. So where exactly is all of this so-called "praise" from white men?
And then she briefly mentioned the fetishization and over-sexualization of black women, but glossed over it like a missed comma, only adding that it was "kinda weird." Actually, this is a serious issue for the black community, and I might table this for my next article.
Women aren't always void of misogyny. This "writer" then went on to refer to men as "men," but women as "females." Quick grammar lesson: the words "girl" and "woman" are nouns. The word 'female" is an adjective. Adjectives cannot be used without a noun (who edited that article?) I won't get into the articles' other numerous grammatical errors. Aside from her use of the word "female" simply being grammatically weird af, colloquially, the term "female" is used to degrade women and reduce them to a set of sexual organs. Which is why every language in the world has come up with a way to properly refer to women.
3. The dump on white
females women (see what I did there?)
"While white women are more sensitive and willing to settle or compromise. Black women just don't put up with no mess."
For centuries scientists, nazi's and bad writers have used pseudoscience to make black people less human. At one point it was widely believed that black people felt no pain at all. In fact, recent studies still find that white people generally think that black people feel less pain as a result of these "studies." Recently, the textbook publisher, "Pearson," was under fire for racist and tone-deaf generalizations of minority groups in a nursing book.
It wasn't okay then and it isn't okay now. So, if we are going to make overarching generalizations about who people are, let's find some factual scientific data to back it up.
I'm assuming this writer is too young to have seen The Brothers. But for those of you over the age of 25, remember when Brian got overly hype about trading in his black judge girlfriend for the white karate instructor? And do you remember what happened? He foolishly expressed how dating a white girl was better because they weren't "crazy," and then he got his ass beat by the karate instructor for stereotyping her. "We don't like bullshit men," I believe were the words she used, referencing strong and independent women of all colors.
4. Racial preference
Again this so-called content creator sorta-kinda stumbled onto something that would have made for a decent article, except, a stumble is all it was.
She went on to say that she didn't have an issue with interracial relationships, and with that, I agree. In fact, I don't think I have met a black woman (or man) that has an issue with interracial relationships. Then again, I don't usually hang amongst trolls.
However, what she could have delved into is the fact it isn't a usual preference to want to date outside of one's race. The Oedipus and Electra complexes suggest that we are attracted first to what we know, which is explains why more often than not, people date within their own race. That isn't to say that people aren't open to dating other races, but it puts a stop to the idea that people generally prefer to date someone who doesn't offer a sense of familiarity.
This writer then had the opportunity to go the route of speaking about self-hate in the black community, which might have made an article worth reading, but of course, she didn't.
When I clicked on this article I honestly expected an intellectual and thoughtful piece on why some black men chose to exclusively date outside of their race. I expected a much-needed piece on the stereotyping of black women, adjacent with self-hate within the black community and how that leads to the fetishization of mixed babies and the sexualization of young black girls, but instead, I got a simple-minded stream of consciousness on how little this writer thinks of both black and white women.
Anywho, I came across this article while writing one of my own and it made my eye twitch. I had to say something.