Black Men and White Women: The Divide from Black Women

Black Men and White Women: The Divide from Black Women

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While perusing the black-oriented website, “AfroPunk,” I came across an article that caught my eye. It was titled, Black Women are not Uncoachable, they are Unprotected. As a black woman myself, I took great interest in the topic. For it was one that needed to be addressed.

The article began with a question, “Why do Black athletes marry white women?” (The Race Card). This question was asked via Twitter by Redskins team member, Lyndon Antonio Trail. Upon first reading it, my heart instantly dropped into my stomach. Too many times I have seen this question and too many times I have seen the same answer. As I ran a sweaty finger down the mouse wheel, the response- “the answer”- was revealed. Before me were the words of Miami Dolphins team member, Masaratti Rick, who said, “’The answer is simple, brother,’ he begins. ‘Most of the sisters were raised in broken homes and they don’t have proper guidance to how they should treat a man, so they mess up a lot in relationships. The biggest difference is that a white woman knows her position and accepts her role as a woman and lets her man lead. You can never get better at anything unless you can admit your fears and your mistakes. How would I be a better football player, if I’m not coachable? Black women are not coachable. Let’s put it that way” (The Race Card). As I read these words, a mix of sadness and anger washed over me. I could feel the heat in my face and the pounding of my heart. But at the same time, I wasn’t surprised. Too often have I seen this mentality from not only black sportsmen but black men in general. There are many remarks from black men who too think black women “mess up a lot in relationships” and see white women as an ideal woman. The type of woman that accepts “her role as a woman and lets her man lead.” But is it truly about dominance?

It’s an ubiquitous knowledge that color has been an undealt-with American problem. From slavery to segregation to modern day institutionalized racism, it has been made apparent that whiteness is desired over blackness. From billboards to dolls to businesses to TV and so on and so on, white people are advertised all throughout the country. The straight blonde hair and the sparkling blue eyes have captivated American beauty. In a 2016 CNN article, it is said that The Fashion Spot dissected “racial diversity on the runways. Over New York, London, Paris and Milan 77.6% of the time models on the runway were white” (Pursley). It is no wonder that black people cleave to white “culture.” What else are they capable of seeing when 77.6% of the time they see white? Over the accumulated years of a homogenous media, blacks understand that they are not beautiful. They develop a self-hatred and see their blackness as a sickness. Thus, they try to remedy this “sickness” by washing themselves clean through whiteness. They dye their hair, they change the way they walk and talk, they associate themselves with white “culture,” they bleach their skin, and so forth. All of which are meant to try and “blend in,” to “survive.” And this fight for “survival,” requires black people to unify with whiteness but also a segregate from blackness. It’s a betrayal that creates wars within the black community. Wars such as light skin vs. dark skin as well as black men vs. black women.

Society has set up social constructs. And one of those constructs was creating the perfect woman: submissive, quiet, appeals to the man, gentle, white, etc. These characteristics are of an ideal woman and anything outside of that understanding is unattractive. An unattractiveness that has poisoned mankind against black women. Too many times, in both past and present, there have been many instances where my fellow black girls are portrayed as stubborn, sassy, dominant, and loud, with derogatory labels such as “ratchet,” “bougie,” and -in the words of Masaratti Rick- “uncoachable” are applied to them. The divide between black men and black women has become apparent over the years. From celebrities to average, every day black men, this fetishism of white women is common. Kanye West in his song, Gold Digger, threatens to leave a black woman’s “*ss for a white girl.” Another rapper, Kodak Black, makes it apparent that he doesn’t date black women. When asked whether he found black actress and singer Keke Palmer attractive, Black says he is not into black girls and would rather date Taylor Swift and Jennifer Lopez. Black further states that he doesn’t “want no Black b***h / I'm already Black / Don't need no Black b***h" (Meara). I also find this self-hatred in my own brother. He surrounds himself with white women and thinks all black people are on welfare. Black males are looking for an escape. And through the constant advertisement of white women as symbols of goodness, purity, wealth, and success, black men seek refuge. It is their one-way ticket out of “the hood” that is American, racial oppression An oppression that divides them from black women.

Men like Masaratti Rick try to pass this self-hatred off in terms of dominance and that a white woman apparently “knows her position and accepts her role as a woman and lets her man lead” (The Race Card). But the real root lies in self-hatred. Isn’t security and promotion from a woman found in all colors? Are black women not capable of evoking positivity just like white women? If all Rick wanted was positive encouragement and docile behavior, he would be searching for a specific personality rather than a specific race.

In all honesty, Rick’s statements about black women don’t surprise me. I’ve seen it time and time again, and I am tired of it. As a proud, black woman, I am angered and saddened by the fact that a “brother” does not appreciate his own community, seeing white women as the only woman capable of properly taking care of a man. Any woman, whether they be black, white, Asian, etc. are all capable of having a relationship (if they so will it). The point of a relationship is the coming together of two people as one through love. And through that love they grow. Of course, people have their preferences. Preferences that have some part in how one dates. Some people are attracted to black women, some are attracted to white men. All my life I have been attracted to white men. I thought my first love would be a white man, my first boyfriend would be a white man, even my husband to be a white man. But it turns out my first relationship and heart were found in a black man. What men like Rick must understand is that what he seeks is not found any specific race but in all. Black women are capable of relationships and are not broken products of the hood. They are more than the loud, sassy women advertised next to the porcelain angels beside them. Black women are beautiful and capable of being in a relationship in the same way that white women are. It really is a shame, Mr. Masaratti Rick, that you can’t see that.

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12 Things Only Low-Maintenance Girls Understand

I promise we aren’t lazy, just easy going.
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Sometimes low-maintenance girls are looked at as lazy or sloppy. But in reality, I think low-maintenance girls are just so confident in who they are that putting in that extra effort isn't important to them.

Here are 12 things that only low-maintenance girls understand:

1. Leggings or sweat pants and a T-shirt is your normal everyday outfit

Why spend the day uncomfortable in some tight jeans or mini skirt when you can lounge around in some comfy clothes? We aren't here to impress anyone, we are just trying to sit back and chill.

2. Makeup is a special occasion

If you catch a low-maintenance girl with makeup on, take it as a compliment. We are trying to touch our face and rub our eyes as much as we'd like without makeup getting in the way. Not to mention, we wouldn't dare spend over $15 on some foundation.

3. We would rather stay in with a movie then go out for the evening

Something low-key and low stress always sounds better than spending the time, and the money, for a night out. I am perfectly content with taking advantage of my $7.99 monthly payment for Netflix.

4. You're always the first one ready

While your friends spend hours doing their hair, makeup and then finding the perfect outfit, you sit around and wait. Your 10 minutes thrown-together-look gives you time to nap while everyone else takes their sweet time.

5. When you say you "don't care what we do," you really don't care

Seriously, a date night off the McDonald's dollar menu is fine by me. I am not expecting you to wine and dine me on a big extravagant evening, I'm just trying to get a Big Mac in my mouth.

6. Your messy bun isn't a fashion statement, it's actually just your hairstyle

We aren't about to spend time curling or straightening our hair everyday. Every day is a good day to throw your hair up into a ponytail or bun.

7. The extent of your jewelry collection is one pair of earrings and maybe a necklace

Who needs more than one pair of earrings? Diamond studs match everything… right?

8. And your shoe collection is even smaller

Should I wear flip-flops or Converse?

9. Shopping isn't exactly your favorite thing to do

Who has patience for finding the perfect designer brands or finding the best fit? I am perfectly content with my T-shirts and leggings. One size fits all.

10. Your favorite gifts are the sentimental ones, not the expensive ones

A homemade card or a small gift that makes someone think of you is forever better and more meaningful than an expensive present. I don't want your money, I just want to know you thought of me.

11. You don't put in the effort to chase after a guy

I'm awesome and I know it. If a guy is worth it enough to be in my life, he can come after me. I am not down for any games or players. Just someone who embraces my low-maintenance qualities.

12. You are always the first person to help someone out

Giving your friends a ride or lending them two dollars isn't a huge deal. Just helping someone out gives you peace of mind. Everyone should have time to help a homie out.

Cover Image Credit: http://www.cosboots.com/sale/christmas/christmas.html

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I Asked A Group Of College Students If Ariana Grande's Fake Tan Is Problematic, Here's The Consensus

"It's just a tan. Who doesn't want to be tan?"

Ellie
Ellie
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For the last few weeks, every time I have gone on my phone, I keep seeing articles in my recommended about how Ariana Grande's fake tan has gone too far and considered blackface and how she also appropriates Hispanic/Latino culture. Although it kept popping up on my phone, I haven't heard anyone talk about it so I questioned how many people actually thought this. I looked up a picture of her and I was surprised to see that she was just as dark or possibly even darker than Nicki Minaj, so I thought, okay, maybe some people really do think this.

I created a poll and sent it to all my friends and club group chats asking for people's opinions. I asked three questions. Do you think Ariana Grande's fake tan should be considered blackface? Do you think she appropriates black culture in any way? Do you think she appropriates Hispanic/Latino culture in any way? The yes or no questions were mandatory on the form but an explanation was optional.

These were the results along with some reasoning:

Do you think Ariana Grande's fake tan should be considered blackface?

82.4% of respondents said no, it is not blackface, and 17.6% said it is.

The only explanation for yes was "She is several shades darker."

Some of the explanations for no included:

"It's a spray tan. Everyone gets them. And as a black person, I don't find it offensive."

"She isn't changing her skin tone to suppress a minority, she is doing it because being tan is more on trend. She isn't doing it with the intent of hurting anyone."

"Her tan is not an attempt to seem black or to mock black people."

"It's just a tan. Who doesn't want to be tan?!"

"Some people just use too much tan. Example: Donald Trump. His fake tan is most likely not blackface."

"A good tan helps with confidence! I know that when I'm tan, I feel 100x prettier. I'm not a fan of Grande, but she got a tan! I don't think it's anything more."

"If someone is uncomfortable in their pale skin, they have every right to tan. She is not claiming to be anything other than white, she is just changing something about herself that made her insecure. Pale skin is often seen as unattractive, so this is perfectly normal for her to want to alter it."

"Everyone does fake tans. She just wants to show her real Italian color."

"We live in a time where getting a cheap tan equals wanting to be a certain race. These types of people are looking for something to be offended by at this point even if it's a non-issue."

The next question: Do you think she appropriates black culture in other ways? (language, appearance, etc.)

88.2% of respondents said she is not and 11.8% said that she is.

There were no explanations for yes here, but here are some of the ones to no.

"She acts too white."

"She's not desperate like the Kardashians, so there you go."

"I don't think she is doing anything to appropriate black culture, I think she is just trying to make money"

"I don't believe she is appropriating black culture simply by being who she is. If she was exploiting black culture like 'acting black' in a music video, that would be a much different case."

"I don't think her appearance does, but not sure about other characteristics"

"She is not claiming to be black or anything else. Many people have fake tans, it is normal in our society."

"She's expressing her interests."

I think it's interesting that the percentage went down.

The final Question: Do you think she appropriates Hispanic/Latino culture in any way? (language, appearance, etc.)

Again, 88.2% of respondents said she is not and 11.8% said she is.

There were again no explanations for yes. This time most of the answers for no were "Same as previous answers" as well as these:

"She doesn't act or take on any traits of people from these cultures."

"No. She's just expressing her interests."

"I've never seen her appropriate their culture."

Before I concluded these findings I looked to see if there were any other reasons people would find it problematic. The main thing I found was that she takes off her fake tan to be on magazine covers such as Vogue. This, in some people's minds, means she is using the dark skin to gain a following and gain a wider audience yet took it off to play to racist mainstream beauty standards.

I was hoping looking into all this would help me form a more solid opinion on the situation. As of now, I don't think it was done in a harmful sense, so it is probably okay. I hate when unnecessary problems are made. Yet, I can see why some people find her fake dark skin to be a problem. Similar to the Instagram influencers who were pretending to be black. I would love to hear more opinions on the matter and get more viewpoints.

Ellie
Ellie

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