One of the things my boyfriend and I talk about a lot is the effect society has on black people. This means, how society treats us, different events that have happened in pop culture and the media that negatively affect us, political views, etc. When the Colin Kaepernick's kneeling became a big issue among the people of the United States (sigh), I remember going down pages and pages of Odyssey articles that talked about why he shouldn't be kneeling and how it was so disrespectful. But these articles never understood the bigger picture. I used to send screenshots of these articles to him or tag him in them so we could start a heated conversation about white privilege in America and what I like to call, Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome. We're constantly doing this, especially with Odyssey articles, because the fact of the matter is, the Odyssey community is mostly made up of students from predominately white universities across the U.S.

So recently he sent me a screenshot of an article on Swoon titled, "9 Debunked Myths About White Girls Who Date Black Guys."

Let me tell y'all... I was livid.

Let me just be straight up and honest right now. I don't have a problem with interracial dating. I don't. In fact, I think it's beautiful. And it shows that we as a society, are trying to step away from the racial segregations that plagued us no less than 50 years ago. If you're a certain race or ethnicity and you want to date someone that's different than you, by all means, go for it! My best friend is Filipino and she's currently dating a Pakistani guy. My older sister dated a white guy for a year and it was the best relationship she's ever had. I support all love, 100% of the time...

But then this is where things get complicated. Because, yes, of course, I support all love, but at the same time... I don't.

In response to the article... there are just some things that I need to address that really just ticked me off. But first, I would like to applaud certain things about the article that I felt were true.

#1 We're not all fat.

"If the argument is that overweight white women go after black men because they can’t get with white men, this demeans black men by insinuating that they are not as desirable as white men."

I applaud this girl for this. Because literally, I always hear the stereotype that larger white women go for black guys and people said it's because they couldn't get white guys.

But why are white men seen as such desirable partners to have, and black men aren't?

Because by saying that these particular white women can't get white men, it means that white men are a prize to whine and pine over. Like they have to work EXTRA hard or be EXTRA pretty to win the affection of white men. Whereas they can be deemed "unattractive" by society, and still get black men because black men are also just as unattractive and unworthy. I applaud her for realizing this.

#7 We haven't all had bad experiences with white men.

Like I said before, the best relationship my older sister has ever had was with her white boyfriend. I know above, I kind of alluded to the fact that white men aren't so high and mighty as everyone thinks they are, but that's not to berate them. That's literally to say that we're all humans. No one is better than anyone else. No one should be treated better than anyone else because of their socioeconomic, mental, racial, etc. status.

I'm not saying that white men aren't great. They are. But I'm saying that black men, Asian men, Hispanic men, southeast Asian men, men who used to be women, whoever, are also just as great as these white men. I'm not saying that white men are horrible creatures and that whoever dates them would have a bad experience with them, and that's why they go to colored men. NO. I'm not saying that. In the article, Laura literally says, "I've had equally good and bad experiences."

#8 We don't think that we're too good for white guys.

I don't even have to explain this one that much because it's just like #7. No one is putting white guys down. This mindset actually gets me really heated. I don't know if any you reading know this, but when the Black Lives Matter movements were going on, people were saying that it was inhumane and wrong because it was "putting white people down."

...Try again. Black Lives Matter was literally a movement to bring awareness to the fact that everyone else's lives mattered, except for ours.

So when racist, confederate bearing people say that "Black Lives Matter is reverse racism" or when uneducated misogynists say that "feminism wants women to be above men", they are DEAD WRONG.

* * *

Now, I would like to move on to the topics in the article that actually really got me upset because of the ignorance.

#4 We don't think that we're better than black girls & #9 We don't think black men are easier to get

Even though white supremacy exists, I know there are still white people out there who don't think they're superior to black people. But it's not an argument about who's better and who's not, which is what the author was writing. She talked about how there are not that many black men in America, to begin with, so of course, it's not easy to get them. One thing the author did do great though is talk about the fact that black women are less likely to get responses from any race, ESPECIALLY from black men.

Let me break it down. Do any of y'all remember that interview that Kodak Black did where he basically called dark-skinned black women trash? That's the epitome of many black men in America and it's a product of Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome. Basically, over time, anything black has been deemed "disgusting" and anything white was deemed as "good." Black women in America were always pushed to the corner of the room because they were seen as something disgusting. Not to mention, a lot of stereotypes against black women (i.e. loudness, meanness, rudeness, etc) inhibited people's views of how black women in America REALLY were.

It's not the fact that white women think that they are better than black girls or that black men are easier to get. The fact of the matter here is that some black men subconsciously think that white women are more desirable than black women, and therefore, they are more likely to go for white girls. Some black men are easier for white women to get because more those men have limited their options to only white women.

#3 We're not trying to prove that we're not racist.

Maybe the author, specifically, isn't trying to prove a point that she's racist. And I know that many interracial couples out there are together because they love each other, not so they can prove something to society. I don't think ANYONE who dates outside of their race is trying to prove to society that they're not racist.

However, I do think that you can be racist and still be in an interracial relationship.

Literally.... you can still be a heterosexual guy and be sexist, like how is that different?

Don't believe me? Remember Tomi Lahren? The racist Fox news reporter that got fired from her position a while back? She ACTUALLY has a black boyfriend.

I literally just learned about that at this very moment I'm writing because my boyfriend told me. I said, "Yeah, but he's a black Republican. That doesn't count."

But in fact, it does. My boyfriend said, "Regardless of his political views, he's still a black individual in America. And a racist white girl is dating him."

#5 It's Not Just A Fetish

Almost all of the Kardashians have had black boyfriends. Many think this is a coincidence. Oh, they're all dating black guys at the same time, how cute! But to a lot of woke black people, it's a little strange... why do they constantly go from one black guy to the other?

Long story short, black people are fetishized in society.

Our bodies are sexualized, our culture is appropriated... when did black people become a trend? Do y'all really think ten years ago white women went after black men the way that they do now? I know that Jungle Fever existed and still exists. But this newfound "love" for black men has increased exponentially and I attribute that to pop culture.

I'm not saying black men shouldn't be loved. I'm saying that they shouldn't be loved for the wrong reasons. Those reasons can include... genital size, body figure, athleticism, and "bad boy" attitude. And the same thing can be said about black women.

Am I saying that the Kardashians don't love their boyfriends and only like them because of those reasons? No. I'm sure Kim Kardashian loves Kanye West. But let's not forget that the Kardashians have made a living off of appropriating black culture.

Just the other day I heard some girls talking about how mixed babies are SO cute and how they want mixed babies SO badly.

And I didn't understand why it upset me so much... but it did. Maybe because I felt like they were using black men to get some cute, Instagram worthy babies? Or maybe because if you were to ask them ten years ago if they would date black guys, they would outright be like, "NO." Maybe it's because slave masters literally used to rape black slaves for whatever twisted reason-- maybe it was a kink? Maybe they hypersexualized them because their roots are mostly primal and they weren't as advanced as the "poised Europeans".

I had a really hard time writing this article because race is still such a hard and touchy subject. There are certain lines that different people draw based on their viewpoints of what racism is and people are constantly stepping over them because race is not a constructed thing. It's fluid. It's man-made. It's hard to explain.

I applaud the author for her efforts for addressing this subject because it opened my eyes too. It's something that has to be talked about and white women shouldn't be torn down by black women or other races because they're dating other races. To them, race doesn't matter, and in some cases, I agree. We need to stop seeing each other as black and white or yellow and start seeing each other as humans.

But also, we have to keep in mind that there still are some people out there who just don't and won't get it. There are so many things about racism in America that a lot of us just don't understand. And the reason why it is so complex is that it has been weaved and implemented subconsciously into humans' brains for the past 300 years and that's something that won't be easy to fix or decipher.

It's hard — but stay woke, y'all.