I've found that most people go through a phase where anger is the dominant emotion they feel. Whether it's in one's teenage years (aka teenage angst), later in life or if it lasts anywhere from a few months to a few years, it's a phase some people have experience with. I was one of those people, and I got way too familiar with the anger and eventually allowed that emotion to control everything I did. The sad part is, it took me years to realize that.
What causes the anger is different for everyone, whether it be parents divorcing, the death of a family member, bullying or even a change of schools, it can be a difficult emotion to handle. Many people act out physically, like picking fights at school, punching walls or having randoms bouts of rage. Other people, like me, keep it inside. There's also chronic, overwhelmed, self-inflicted, judgmental and volatile anger, all which you can read about at this website. I don't know which one is worse, but I do know none of them are healthy for you. There are even anger-related symptoms you can experience, like heart palpitations, increased blood pressure, headaches and fatigue.
Overcoming anger and learning to let go of those emotions was something I had to do by myself, and it was not easy by any means. I had become so comfortable where I was that I couldn't imagine myself anything but angry. I began to push away the people in my life who wanted to be there for me because I didn't know how to let them help. I became very withdrawn and acted out in ways that were so passive that I didn't realize I was doing them until my mom sat me down (several times) and helped me realize that I was hurting everyone around me.
Letting go was a momentous part of my life. I even got a tattoo - two ravens on my shoulder - to memorialize it and also have it as a reminder keep letting go. I had to let go of some people I had allowed into my life and rebuild relationships I never should have damaged in the first place. The hardest part of the process was learning to forgive. I had to forgive myself, and I had to forgive the reason I was so angry (for me, it was a person). Thankfully, I had the support of my family and my small group of friends to help me through that, but I realize not everyone has that. I am so blessed to have a family like mine with the amount of patience they had to have for me.
If you don't feel like you have anyone to turn to, therapy is a good way to help yourself overcome anger issues. Many techniques are taught to help you, and you can talk about anything you need to in confidence. I never went to therapy, but I know many people who were helped by it. If you want more information on what anger is and how to control yours, the American Psychological Association has a great article full of information. The most important thing to know is that you're not alone.
If you're struggling with overcoming anger, talk to someone you trust about getting help. It is possible to feel happy, regardless of what you've been through, and it's so important everyone realizes their self worth. Experiencing and overcoming anger was such a huge part of my life, and I've become so much stronger and happier looking back on where I've been compared to where I am now. I still struggle with anger everyday, but knowing that I have people in my life who care about me helps push me through. Happiness is possible, regardless of where you come from.
