I Am Not My Insecurities

I Am Not My Insecurities

Some things we'd like you to know about our insecurities we have.

Last week I watched a video on Facebook of younger girls no older than 16 and when they were asked what they hate about themselves it seemed as though they could go on forever. Yet when they were asked what they liked about themselves you heard answers like "my eyes I guess but that's it" or long pauses of nothing at all.

Growing up I've had lived with insecurities every day. People tell me it's me being needy or that I just want someone to tell me I look fine or that it's all in my head. Which granted a lot of it is in my head but what I feel is real. When these girls were asked what they like about their friends very quickly they could respond with answers like "her body is amazing" or "look at her hair and her smile and here eyes." So why is it that when it comes to ourselves it's so hard to find the good things? So here are some things that we who suffer with being insecure would like you to know.

Insecurities can come in all shapes and sizes and everyone has them; yes, even guys, your mom and dad and that super pretty girl you saw the other day. It takes a lot to push the thoughts out of your head and not let them overtake you. A lot of girls that struggle with their own insecurities don't come off that way, they always seem to be the girls with the big smiles and loud laughs. That's the thing. While, yes, we are struggling, we also don't want to bother others with how we feel so we smile as much as possible through it.

The insecurities I have some days hold me back and that's the last thing that I want. I don't buy the dress that I tried on because it was a little too tight and I'm afraid someone will make a rude comment or I'll feel gross the whole time I'm wearing it. I avoid wearing anything that is spaghetti strapped because I hate showing my bra straps and there's no way I could ever go bra-less. My insecurities sometimes make me come off angry or upset when i'm having a hard time feeling comfortable in my own body.

Also it doesn't make you childish if you have insecurities, it makes you strong. My insecurities aren't random they come from past problems in my life, whether it be parents or ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, there's always a reason behind the way you're feeling you're not "crazy" like they'll tell you. There is almost always a trigger for people with insecurities and it can be as little as someone told them they didn't look good in purple so now they will never wear purple or every time they try something purple on they won't buy it or they will ask if they look OK a million times and still not buy it. It could be that their dad didn't put them as top priority most of their life and always chose girlfriends over them that now they constantly feel like they will always be No. 2 in everyone's lives.

And the most important thing no matter how good someone's life is, it doesn't mean they can't feel bad about their situation. I'll say it again, just because someone else may have it worse than you do, doesn't make the way you feel any less important! You are entitled to your right to feel sad sometimes! But don't ever let your feelings, your insecurities become you.

Cover Image Credit: Deviant Art

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.


It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.

These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

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An Open Letter to Soda

You're both good and bad, but you never fail to satisfy me.


Dear soda,

How do I even begin to describe my connection to you? I have shared countless moments with you that we're both my best and my worst. Above all, you fill me up better than water, milk and juice ever do. And even though you're as equally unhealthy as alcohol is (no offense), you're always the safer, if not the most refreshing choice. But even so, you give me more calories than I want in one meal, although burning off that kind of energy is second nature to me.

Before I lavish you with compliments and thank you for cooling me down on hot summer days, it's time to get the unpalatable truth about you and nutrition, soda. You're a primary reason why I'm not in the best shape of my life. Every time I try to have that extra little bit of muscle, you end up setting me back. It's so easy for me to crave for you, because of how delicious you are, and the sugar high you give me is absolutely amazing compared to what I get eating candy and all those other sweets.

I know it's really puzzling for a writer like me to be writing an open letter to a beverage, but you're actually a pretty big part of my life. Why? Because you don't just quench my thirst on hot days, or affect my upset stomach for better or worse, you give me just a smidgen more energy than coffee and tea do. The caffeine in you isn't good for me in the long run, but I need it on a regular basis so I don't zone out during my classes. Honestly, without you, I don't feel as uninhibited as I like to be.

What I love the most about you is that you come in numerous flavors, and even though it's scientifically proven to be ineffective and also tastes worse than gruel, you come in diet form. In every restaurant and cafeteria, you get your own fountain, and students like myself prefer to go there instead of the coffee machines. The hiss of fizz when I open you up makes my mouth water, chills go up my spine and I never resist that first taste of your sugary carbon. Out of all the flavors you offer, I love root beer, cream soda, grape, orange, ginger ale and Dr. Pepper the most. The possibilities with you are so endless.

Soda, the best thing you've ever done for is satisfy me when I didn't feel satisfied.

From one of your many friends,

Konner Donté Watson

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