I want to start off by saying I really enjoyed this movie. I love that minorities and diversities were highlighted in a natural way. I love that this book by a woman was adapted for film by a woman and directed by a woman. All of those things are great-but that does not mean we need to glorify this movie. This movie, mostly the characters, have a few huge moral flaws that make it hard for me to recommend this movie to others, especially young girls.

My roommate begged me to watch the movie. She was obsessed since the day the movie was released--she has watched it at least ten times, and every time she watched it she would be raving about how cute this movie is. So after the fifth plea for me to watch, I did. And I was so disappointed.

Look, I get it, the plot is old as time: girl likes boy, boy finds out, boy uses girl in some sort of revenge plot, girl falls for boy, boy messes it up, boy realizes he loves the girl, wins girl back, boy and girl walk into the sunset. This is not some new innovative plot-beside the fact that instead of like "She's All That" at least Lara Jean knew that she was being used. But that's my main peeve with this movie! A woman writer wrote a character that allowed herself to be used! That is not what owning your confidence is, if anything that shows a false sense of confidence.

If you can get past the fact that Lara Jean's self-esteem is crumbling right in front of our eyes can you get past the fact that Peter is an actual SHIT fake boyfriend!? I still really can't understand how Lara Jean falls for him. He brings her to a party to take 5 pictures with her and just gives up her favorite scrunchie without fighting! Then he grabs her and they leave-no "oh sorry my ex stole your scrunchie and I was too much of a child to try and get it back for you". I get that it is not a real relationship but you can also just be a decent human being too.

I really was intrigued by Peter and Lara Jean's 'relationship' when it first started. I thought the film and their dialogue made a lot of sense, it was cute, it was fun. I don't know if the editing after the movie wrapped changed the progression of the movie or not but I felt like the relationship didn't get any better, it just sort of dragged on.

"But he wrote her notes and they had that deep talk in the diner". YUP. And you think that constitutes "good" behavior for a boyfriend? The notes were cute I'll admit but one deep talk doesn't automatically create passion and a relationship. A connection? Maybe. But if you are worshipping Peter (or Noah) for those actions alone I think you've set yourself up for a shallow relationship.

Obviously, any relationship needs to be built on trust, and even Peter and Laura Jean's fake relationship started out that way, but the trust needs to stay as the foundation, it can't drift to one person. You also should not set aside your morals and values just because you are craving something (I mean come on, Peter couldn't at least follow Lara Jean's request to save her "firsts" for a real first). A partner who pressures you into anything you don't want to do because it will benefit them is not self-less love, it is manipulation.