It’s no secret that we have all said stupid things without thinking, and we probably will many times in the future. But there is a difference between saying something cringe-worthy and saying something downright discriminatory. What I am talking about today is ableist slurs and how we need to open up the conversation on ableism to bring an end to it.

Ableism is prejudice, discrimination, and overall insensitivity held by able-bodied people against physically, mentally, or emotionally disabled people. Many people don’t realize when they are being ableist, which is why we need to bring awareness to how we use language in day-to-day conversation and on social media. I most often witness ableism and feel it myself when people carelessly misuse terms surrounding mental illnesses, so that is what I’ll be focusing on today.

I am tired of giving people the benefit of the doubt, thinking “they just aren’t educated or aware that what they’re saying is discriminatory.” So no more excuses, here is your lesson:

your ableist slurs are traumatizing, deeply insensitive, and promote the idea that it’s okay to use them in the context you’re using.

So please, stop using them.

Here are some examples of the ableist slurs I most frequently see in regards to mental illness:

“Oh my god the weather has been so bipolar recently.”

No. It hasn’t. “Bipolar” is not an adjective to describe the weather being inconsistent, it’s a classification of an incredibly complex mood disorder characterized by manic and/or depressive episodes that can last for an unpredictable amount of time.

“I’m such a neat-freak, I swear I’m so OCD about everything.”

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a mood disorder that can be incredibly debilitating and is characterized by repeated obsessive and intrusive thoughts that can result in compulsive behavior. OCD is not an adjective to describe being a “germaphobe” or liking things neat and organized. If you are diagnosed with OCD, you have OCD. If you are not, stop abusing the term. Also, it does not stand for puns like “Obsessive Christmas Disorder.” That completely disregards the destructiveness of OCD, and you are an assh*le if you think a little “joke” like this is harmless.

“I was so anxious before my exam, I seriously had a panic attack.”

Anxiousness and stress are not the same thing. Anxiety, again, is a mood disorder. The difference between anxiety and stress or nerves, at least the way I feel it, is that anxiety can come out of nowhere. If I’m feeling jittery before a test, what I’m feeling is most likely just nerves, because I can identify that there is this high-stakes ‘thing’ before me that I understandably am stressed about. When I’m feeling anxious, it can come completely out of the blue with nothing to instigate it – it’s just this awful unsettling feeling of concern over no particular thing. That’s not to say anxiety can’t be triggered by identifiable events, it’s just one of the primary ways that I have noticed it can differ from feeling stressed.

Panic attacks are not just moments when you feel scared or worried. They are physical responses to anxiety. I have thankfully only ever had one full-blown panic attack, but it was the most suffocating experience I have ever felt. I couldn’t catch my breath, I felt like I needed to throw up, I was shivering, I was crying uncontrollably, and worst of all is that there was nothing I could identify that triggered it. If you can still function and properly react to your environment, you probably are not actually having a panic attack.

“I can’t believe summer is over, I’m so depressed.”

People can experience temporary depressive episodes, and even seasonal depression (more accurately known as Seasonal Affective Disorder). But “depressed” and “sad” are not synonymous or interchangeable, so do not use them as such. Depression is not a flat, one-dimensional mood that can be summed up as “sad.” It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes severe feelings of isolation, hopelessness, emptiness, and worthlessness.

There are countless others, but these are the ones I see on a daily basis. Ableism is not just a concern of being offensive, these slurs are traumatizing and have devastating effects on the people they target. They invalidate and normalize the severity with which physical, mental, and emotional disabilities affect the people who have them.

Intentional or not, your ableist slurs make light of the fact that you do not actually have to suffer through the symptoms of these real and destructive diseases.

If you aren’t sure if something you’re saying is ableist, you probably shouldn’t be saying it. If someone tells you that something you're saying is ableist, it is not your place to tell them they are wrong. So please think before you speak; that’s a lesson we’re taught from the day we learn to talk. Your words are not funny, they are not harmless, and they don't just "hurt peoples' feelings." They provoke continued oppression of marginalized groups, and we need to do our part to eradicate the harmful culture of ableism in all places where it takes shape.

Disclaimer: I am no expert on ableism or mental illnesses. These opinions stem from my own experiences with them and the experiences I have heard from friends and peers.