The past year has been one of growth and change. There have been many things that I have been wrestling with in my heart. Although it has been hard going through change, it has been good for me because I am maturing and learning to depend on God. Often I find myself weak and the things that God is confronting me about are hard to deal with or change. With these things going on in my heart, a piece of Scripture that has been speaking to me is that God’s grace is all I need and that His power works best in weakness. With these things being said, here are 5 things that I am getting heart checked on.
Not having had my first kiss does not define my identity
Today’s society and culture claims that your identity is found in relationships. Just look at how many movies there are about people falling in love. I too have spent my fair share in letting my heart ache while watching romantic movies. God has been calling me out of this mindset though. My identity is found in Christ. Not having been in a relationship or not having had my first kiss (or not being taller than guys or girls who are taller than me) does not define my masculinity and my identity. It is something I am daily surrendering to God and acknowledging that He is the keeper of my heart.
Look at her heart, not her appearance
One thing I realized and acknowledged about myself, Westmont, and the Christian community as a whole is that appearance matters way too much in trying to find our spouse. There’s this mentality that exists in the Christian community and in me that says that “my partner has to love God AND be attractive”. This has been another difficult thing that God has been confronting me about. I firmly believe that when it comes to finding your spouse, the seeking process should be focusing on the heart alone. I think that letting myself continue with this mentality of wanting a spouse to have a certain appearance is damaging my heart, my future relationship with my wife (if God is not calling me to be single), and my relationship with God. True love is above physical appearances. It goes beyond our own human selfish needs. It is a heart thing.
Continual showing of love and grace to others… and to myself
People aren’t perfect. I am not perfect. Acknowledging this and God’s abundant love and grace is helping me surrender my pride and insecurities to God and helping me let Him work through me in difficult situations.
I take my Dad’s financial support for granted
I realized in college how dependent I was on my parents, how much I wasn’t ready to be an adult yet, and how sacrificial my Dad’s love for me was.
I am not the only one who is hurting
Something that I’ve been dealing with is selfishness when it comes to insecurities and needs. I am not the only one who is hurting. We all have baggage we are carrying. It’s been good to see God help me deal with this struggle and love people more selflessly.
