Good old Sloshkosh. A place where you can find diversity, opportunity and, let’s be honest, a pretty good party.
As I near the end of my first year here at UWO, I find myself being almost sad to leave, worried that I will feel the nostalgia over the summer of not being able to see my newly made friends every day and being able to stop at Reeve for Starbucks in the morning.
So many things make our campus unique from the totally nonsensical meal plans to the unspoken rules agreed upon by every student. As students, we can all agree on certain advantages and disadvantages of going to school here and making this place our home. Here are 22 undeniable factors upon which all students find common ground.
1. The Wind
You all know what I’m talking about. This campus sits adjacent to the Fox River so it only makes sense that there is a bit of a breeze that is blown across the university’s bounds. The knock-you-off-your-feet, face-crippling, knee-buckling, blustering gales that transform the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh into a perilous wind tunnel, however, is less predictable. Winds can reach up to 30, even 40, mph on this campus, sending plastic bags, twigs, and the occasional small person, flying. If you come to Oshkosh for a visit on a weekend, check the weather and watch out.
2. The Squirrels
The campus squirrels. Our furry friends that basically scurry across your foot on the way to class. They’re remarkably tame for wild animals and they will approach you at an incredibly close proximity. In the fall, you can almost guarantee that there is one of these fluffy guys within a two-foot radius of you. Let’s face it, they are probably slowly but surely taking over this campus. They don’t watch out for you, you have to watch out for them.
3. Blackhawk 2Go
Those buff chick wraps. Need I say more? They send you into the bathroom overnight and leave you feeling like this could be the end. They destroy your digestive system and you’re convinced that by the time school ends, there will probably be a small hole in your intestines. However, they have a weird gravitational pull and you can’t resist going back and getting one every other day even knowing the consequences.
4. Titan Days
Titan Day (noun): a day where a student who attends uwo decides they just can’t handle class or life or responsibilities of any kind that day and they skip all their classes.
Just about every student here has had a day where their alarm goes off at 7 a.m., they open their eyes, groan inwardly, slide their iPhone screen to the right, decide today is a big fat nope, and go back to sleep. We’ve all been there and it’s okay; we all understand. The average student allows themselves one Titan Day per semester so we all know to use it wisely.
5. Pub Crawl
Pub Crawl is what makes the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh worth going to. If you’re unfamiliar with the event, I’m going to put in bluntly: it’s a big drunk party. It happens once per semester, begins on Friday night after classes and doesn’t stop until Sunday morning. That’s right, people get up and start drinking, house-hopping, bar-hopping, at 8 a.m. on a Saturday and don’t stop until they’re absolutely incapable of performing as a human. Talk to any student who goes to Osh and there is almost a guarantee they have a funny and/or catastrophic story from Pub Crawl weekend. But hey, this is Wisconsin, right?
6. The SWRC & the Fox River
The Student Recreation and Wellness Center, SWRC for short, or the Rec for even shorter, is a highlight of our university. The Rec is complete with a climbing wall, 100+ pieces of cardio equipment, basketball and volleyball courts, a track, indoor soccer, table tennis, massage therapy, and offers group exercise classes. The entire south wall on the lower level overlooks the Fox River which is pretty nice when you’re working up a sweat and feeling like you could be facing death at any moment. All in all, the Rec is pretty great and it’s a good way to avoid all your responsibilities.
7. MiTaza
Oh MiTaza, what would I do without you? Pronounced Mee-TAH-zuh, this is arguably the most imperative dining venue on campus. MiTaza serves Starbucks, which is essential to the care and keeping of the typical college student. We are lucky enough to have a delicious variety of smoothies, ice cream, baked goods and coffee at the MiTaza in Reeve and a selection of sandwiches, soups, and of course coffee in Sage. Both locations are a comparable distance from each other so wherever you are on campus, you can probably run and get a quick coffee to avoid certain death or any other sleep-deprived situation you might be in. We are #blessed.
PS. I didn’t even mention the MiTaza in Halsey because we all know it isn’t worth mentioning.
8. Sage Hall
I love Sage. I am in the College of Letters and Science and I consider the third floor study lounge my paradise and Sage Café my oasis. The huge, sustainable, all solar-powered lecture hall is my favorite place to study, hang out, or simply just admire. The only downfall of the hall, however, is the stairs. It’s practically an Olympic event just to make it to the third floor study lounge because the stairs are a struggle in their own.
9. Clow
Slow opened this semester and it was one of the best things that’s ever happened. Ever. Not only is Clow a refuge specifically for nursing students, but the foreign language department is also housed there. In other words, those students who take a foreign language course don’t have to haul themselves over to Dempsey with its creaky floors and high school-esque feel. Perhaps most importantly, Clow Café has become my regular spot to eat on Monday afternoons when I have four classes back to back and can’t get myself to Blackhawk. Conclusion: Clow is a blessing.
10. Yik Yak
You know you’ve entered Osh by the yaks. Between dumbasses putting up addresses for parties, someone wanting to hook up, someone complaining about their S.O., or someone bashing Whitewater, UWO’s yaks are identifiable by more than just the location setting.
11. The Parties
Slosh got its name for a reason. I don’t really understand why we’re considered a “party school” when UW-Milwaukee and UW-Madison are a short 73 and 78 miles away, respectively. Regardless, our small university of approximately 14,000 people knows how to throw a good party. We seem like a pretty innocent student body throughout the week. The majority of us do our studying, go to bed around 11:00 p.m. and get our butts to class. The weekend however, is when even the most studious girl lets her hair down and texts the guy in her Chem lab for addresses.
12. The Morning After Snapchat Stories
Nothing beats waking up to a nasty hangover in your friend’s dorm room, rolling over to check your phone and discovering you did something not-so-dignified the night before. If you listen closely on Sunday mornings around 11:00 a.m., you can hear a chorus of distressed students simultaneously saying, “Oh my god, did that really happen?”
13. The Delivery Options
There are so many delivery options around the UWO campus, you could arguably never leave your dorm except for class. First and foremost, we have Insomnia Cookies. The god-send right across from the Scotts has the best cookies in the world. Yeah they’re $1.25 each, but we all know it’s worth it in the end. We also have Jimmy Johns, Li Yangs and Toppers which, while a tad pricey for a poor college student, is still a better alternative than eating at BHawk 2Go for the sixth night in a row.
14. Reeve Food
For freshmen, Reeve food is a blessing. We only get it on weekends or when we use one of our precious bonus meals. Food from Reeve is so immaculately better than that at Blackhawk, freshmen swarm the Marketplace on weekends. Between the Build-Your-Own salad bar, Pizza Hut, SubConnect, B&G, simply to go, and the newly opened Wholly Habaneros, I’d argue that this selection is no less than a necessity for us.
15. Scotty's
Let me just say this: God. Bless. Scotty’s. The food isn’t even that great. It can actually get rather sickening if you live in the Scotts like I do. However, it is the only dining location on campus that is open until midnight. Not only is there a make-your-own sub line, deep dish pizza, and Lunchables, but there’s an entire convenience store’s worth of goodies you can buy with your Titan Dollars. Scotty’s is undoubtedly an essential link that holds a person together when they’re five pages into their sustainability paper and craving pizza at 11:30 p.m.
16. Meal Plans
Does anyone truly understand the meal plans here? Ask the average student here when and where they can use a bonus meal or a flex meal or a board meal or whatever it’s called and they probably can’t tell you. What is the difference between a bonus meal and a flex meal anyway? Yeah you can use your bonus meals at Reeve whenever and your board meals at Reeve on weekends but the Titan Underground doesn’t even take meals at all. And can we talk about Blackhawk being closed on weekends? Where am I supposed to get my omelets on Saturday mornings?
17. Boom Box Guy
Boom Box Guy is our savior. If you didn’t know, his real name is Andre and he spreads joy around the campus, typically on Fridays. The thing that makes Boom Box Guy unique is that he carries around a giant speaker with him and blasts happy music to soothe the stressed and slightly hysterical college student. Around Christmas time, he blared Christmas carols all around campus, spreading cheer, happiness and the antidote to self-loathing all around. Thank you Boom Box Guy, we appreciate you very much.
18. UWO Ugly Sweaters
My personal favorite fashion statement that shows up around Christmas time on campus is the UWO ugly sweaters. Even at $24 a shirt, the sweaters sell out within hours of the first day they are on sale and the Bookstore is forced to order more immediately. Despite not being able to spend even $20 on essential products for living, not a single person on this campus thinks twice before adding this ugly edition to their closet.
19. The Fletcher Flamer
Dirty Fletch. The nasty freshmen dorm that is loud, rowdy, and disgusting. Everyone has heard of some sort of story from some girl peeing in the hallway to some guy puking in the shower. Ew. So it’s only logical that someone tried to burn it down this year, right? Okay, maybe not. Still, the “Fletcher Flamer” will go down in history and despite their antics being pretty dangerous, every student here had a good laugh about it.
20. Polito's
What would we do without Polito’s? Where else would we go at 2:00 a.m. after a night out of partying? Polito’s is a small restaurant just barely off campus that offers the largest, greasiest slices of pizza that you could imagine. They have really weird combinations of toppings from mac and cheese to chicken quesadilla. The best part is that each slice ranges from $2.50 to $3.25. So let yourself indulge in a piece of Polito’s pizza after a night out of drinking and allow the greasy piece of cardboard to soak up all your problems.
21. Finals . . . Kind of?
UW Oshkosh does not have finals. Yes, we have a finals week and we work just as hard as any other college kid in the UW System. Many of our professors, however, do not plan a cumulative exam at the end of the semester. While some professors do hand out an exam of all the material learned throughout our 14-week stay here, most simply assign an exam just like any other. To make up for not boiling our brains in 14 weeks’ worth of material, we are assigned numerous group projects and final papers that make us seriously consider dropping out. Somehow though, we all get through it and survive another semester. At least we have the 24-hour free coffee available in Polk and late night breakfast, right?
22. Quest Classes
WHY. Why we do have to take Quest? In brief, the USP (University Studies Program) is UWO’s version of General Education curriculum. It’s all a little confusing to explain but let me assure you that every single student here loathes their Quest course that revolves around a certain “signature question.” While you only have to go on three “Quests,” the first two are paired, meaning your schedule is occupied by six credits that you probably don’t want. At least every person who attends UWO has to take Quest (unless you’re in the Honors Program) so we all have a common breeding ground of hatred. No offense, UWO, but we detest Quest.
As you can see, the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh is a pretty unique campus. Through all the hardships, group projects, and late nights in Polk, we get through it as a student body. We chose this campus for a reason (even if it wasn’t our first choice) and I’d say that we’re all proud to be Titans. I can attest to this: UWO wasn’t my first choice, but I know that if I hadn’t come here, my life would be completely different. I am happy to be a student here and I am grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had in my short time here so far.
