As I officially join the twenty-fun club, I wanted to share some things I've learned during my admitted blink of an eye on this planet.
I've discovered all this from others who are never quite the same as one another, meaning that every day is a new opportunity to gain unique knowledge. These are just 21 pieces I've picked up and added to my puzzle thus far. I hope to continue adding more and more as I continue to journey through life.
And I hope that some of these things add pieces to your puzzles, too.
1. Spend your time doing what you love, even if it isn't lucrative or it's shunned. You've gotta work if you want to achieve your dreams, whatever they are.
Personally, I love writing and creating art. Do I suffer from any delusion that these are excellent things to pursue if I want to be financially well-off or seen as pragmatic? No. But that's part of what makes me so passionate about them: they're crazy, they're full of grandeur, and they are just as valuable as following your heart is. If you want something to be a part of your life, then you'll have to put in the effort and zeal to keep them there.
2. Learn how to nap, and do it like a professional. It's absolutely essential.
I mean, I doubt I'll ever really sleep enough to stop being part zombie as the day drags on, but it's definitely helpful.
3. Form your own opinions, but base them on evidence, honesty, integrity, and kindness.
We all have different values, morals, and ideas about this bonkers world. That doesn't mean we should ever compromise inherent goodness of character for them.
4. Respect your elders.
Sure, twenty-one is more than a solid fifth of a century. That does not mean I know anything or everything, not by a long, long shot. You never really stop learning.
5. Social media is extremely powerful. And power can be used for good or evil.
It can connect us to loved ones when distance greatly separates us. It can share stories of inspiration and education. It can help keep us informed. It can also promote bullying, violence, and discrimination. It can suck up all our time. Social media isn't going anywhere; so best learn how to use it to the fullest extent to better your life, and the lives of others.
6. It's okay to cry.
Today's society seems to have wired us to either conceal our emotions for fear of being seen as weak, or because we'll all suddenly turn into blubbering flailing idiots if we let them show. Crying is cathartic. It lets out pent-up feelings and hurts. It is healthy, and it is necessary.
7. Know what else is more than okay? Laughing. Lots.
I so wish that you always experience the pure joy and exhilaration that comes from laughter. The real, genuine kind that comes from your heart and soul that you share with others by virtue of this.
8. Animals will always be there to love you unconditionally.
This honestly needs no explanation. They're angels. When the humans on this earth knock you down, you can turn to an animal no matter what.
9. Being "popular" really doesn't mean a damn thing, whether it's in your pre-teen educational fishbowl or when you're grown up.
Too often, this word comes to be synonymous with snarky, exclusive, demeaning, bratty, entitled individuals. There's zero reason to aspire to that. There's also zero reason to let that be your definition of "popular".
10. To that point, having confidence in yourself is far more important than whether or not someone thinks well of you.
Don't aspire to be Oscar the Grouch or the Grinch (lots of greenness here). But don't get hung up on the trivial opinions of others; don't let them tarnish your self-respect and positivity. Because there will always be people who are rude, cruel, close-minded, and even hateful. But that does not mean you have to listen to and believe their diatribes. Take them, learn from them, and aspire to be polite, generous, accepting, and understanding. You can't take away the sting of their words, but you do not have to let it last.
11. Sometimes, rules are meant to be broken.
Some rules are there for a reason. Others just are, to put it quite bluntly, total bullshit. Follow the ones designed to (truly) help you, and kick the others to the curb. Rules are meant to streamline, not confine. Remember that.
12. It's more than alright to party, drink, and partake in other activities that are often frowned upon, during your college experience. And as your life progresses.
Some of the best memories I have are from nights out spent with friends or times I forewent class to experience something new. I'm from the Zoo, for goodness sakes. Am I saying that you should let enjoying this part of your life take precedence over what you're really there for: your education and your future? No. Am I saying that fitting in this other stuff is perfectly okay, too? Yup. This is true no matter what stage of life you're in: have a good time, but gain goodness from doing so.
13. The people who really love you will never stop letting you know that they do.
Whether it's ordering a pizza and watching crap movies with you to help you get over a breakup, or stopping you from doing something dangerous, or just in general being someone whose care and support you can rely on, the right people to have in your life will make themselves known.
14. Unfortunately, it will take some getting hurt by people who are fair-weather to learn this. Don't let this diminish the love you give to others.
Sometimes it takes an awful experience for you to be able to fully experience the gravity of a wonderful one. Never stop being a wonderful one yourself for others in your life.
15. You should never compromise your physical, emotional, or mental well-being to meet an expectation.
As someone recovering from surrendering these things time and time again to various demons, I can attest to the fact that it is never worth it to let yourself disappear in an attempt to become more visible in someone else's eyes. Never.
16. Make sure you get outside to enjoy nature.
We are little bitty blobs of cells too often attached to an even smaller rectangle with a screen. The world out there is infinitely more beautiful and full of life.
17. Love who you love.
Love is love is love is love. It does not have a gender, an orientation, an age, a race, an ethnicity, an educational level, a socioeconomic status, or any other defining characteristic. It just is, and you deserve to give and receive it unconditionally to and from whomever you so wish.
18. Going to the gym is healthy. So is eating pizza and ice cream and all those other delicious inventions.
Only if it's done in moderation. Again, I've been on the terrible side of allowing one or the other to become too influential in my life. Your body is a breathing, ever-changing, unique entity. You need to take care of it. And that entails eating that extra slice of cake on your birthday as much as it does putting in a couple miles on the treadmill.
19. No, your romantic relationship is not an excuse to let other relationships hit the fan.
Having a partner is great. Allowing your partners in crime to fade out of your life in deference to the apple of your eye (or whatever food item you so prefer) is absolutely, unequivocally, not. These people are not mutually exclusive, I promise.
20. Differences are an opportunity to learn. Not judge or write off.
Humans are more than 99% identical when it comes to genetic sequencing. That's a teeny tiny percentage in which to deviate, but there are so many pieces that make everyone who they are, and they alone. This variation exists for a very, very important reason. We have so much to learn from others, and we also have so much to share. There is not one ubiquitous list that determines whether someone is a good person or not. You decide whether or not you want to be one. And no, I'm not gonna get started on the postulation that we're also very similar to bananas.
21. Life is an adventure. Make it one to remember.
There will be moments you want to forget, do over, or never ever experience. There will be a lot of stereotypes, hardships, tears, anger, pain, and other such wholly negative things. A flame can be blown out, but you must breathe the very same air into it in order to make it grow. These experiences can either destroy you or help you build a newer, stronger foundation. A foundation from which you can explore all the wonder, mystique, humor, awe, splendor, and love in this world, and use those things to build the walls that house your story. Let that story be one of an adventure like no other.
Let it be yours.
