In 12 days from the day I am writing this article, I will officially have survived my first year of being an adult. The past 365 (almost) days have flown by so fast, and as always, have changed me so much. Now I don't know exactly how much wisdom I can have as an almost 19 year old college sophomore, but these are just a few things I've learned in the past year.
1. Confidence begets beauty.
LADIES. Ya'll gorgeous, and if you're wondering why you don't feel gorgeous it's because you don't think you are. I'm at a point in my life where I finally feel pretty. And guess what? There's no boyfriend here to tell me. I did it all on my own. Even when I was at a point where I had a guy validating me, I still didn't feel as good as I do now. Take care of yourself and learn to love yourself.
2. It's OK to be completely unsure about your life.
Let me tell you how fun it is to be unsure about all your plans: I almost switched majors after my first semester of college, and over the summer, I almost transferred or dropped out of college altogether. Low and behold, it's a week out from move-in and I am still attending the same college for the same degree, even more passionate about it than before.
3. You don't have to please everyone.
You will drive yourself insane trying to placate everyone. It's ok to have people who don't like your standards, lifestyle, or whatever. Whether it's your friends, family or complete strangers, someone will always be offended by your actions at some point in your life. Take advice from the O.G. homeboy, Kevin G:
4. God really does have a plan.
I spent all last semester trying to get a job on campus. I applied for five different jobs, interviewed for three, finally got one. It wasn't the one I had wanted, the one I had thought I was being called to, but by God I was going to make it work. Three months later and I receive a call offering me the job I wanted. God works in mysterious ways friends.
5. Don't measure your life against the ones you see on social media.
This kinda goes along with the "having to please everyone." Stuff posted from anyone, your friends or celebrities, makes you feel like you need to match up with it. I had a little breakdown this summer because I thought I wasn't having enough fun. I didn't have the cutesy summer adventure photos my friends had. But here's the thing. I'm happy anyway. Yeah, I've worked the majority of the summer, but I'm going to be so much happier when, next summer, I'm studying abroad in Germany because of the hard work. My summer doesn't need to measure up to everyone else's if I'm content with it.
6. Hard work is really never overrated.
Nothing pays off like hard work. It feels nice to slack and defer work to other people on occasion, but the results will never give you as much pride and happiness as those you achieved by your own hard work. Save the money, learn the tools, don't give up.
7. Allow yourself to loosen up every now and then.
I've always been the "responsible adult" among my friends, even though I'm the youngest. I'm the old soul, designated driver, and mom, and while I have no regrets with the roles I fill, sometimes I forget to allow time to have fun on my own.
No matter how responsible you are, you still need to have fun carefree times in your life. Yes, you're still responsible for the outcome of your actions, but a little adventure never hurt anyone. Take the roadtrip, go to the party, stay up until 2 am for a week, or whatever. Find your fun.
8. It's ok to be mad at someone.
I am in no way trying to toot my own horn here, but I have never been able to be made at someone. I will find a reason, or idea, or anything to give me a reason to get over it. Well after 18 years of doing that, I decided it was enough. It's ok to be mad, but...
9. It's not ok to hold a grudge.
So you can be mad, and you can tell someone you're mad at them. But don't hold that. Talk it out, be a grown up, and move on. For someone who avoids conflict like the plague, learning to deal with it was terrible. However, in the end, it's a much better solution than silently being pissed at the from a distance.
10. You need to learn to love yourself before you learn to love someone else.
For a long time in my life, I've been at a place where I can't love anyone because I don't understand why they'd love me. In the past two years, I've begun to grow further away from that pit, but it still seems right behind me some days. Here's advice from 18-year-old me: all those "relationship goals" things you see on Twitter or any other social media? Make them for yourself. I have a list on my phone of "Emma things." Things I like, dislike, that make me happy, etc.
11. Don't hate someone else's relationship because of your lack of one.
Why do we live in a society that hates other people because they have what we don't?! It's not even that people do it, it's also that they expect you to. Yes, hi, I'm a single girl, but surprise, no, I don't hate Valentine's Day. I don't brood over the fact that my friends are spending their weekends hanging with their boyfriends; I help them get ready, and sometimes even third wheel. Guys, there's so much more fun available when you let go of frustration at your own life! Your turn will come around, just be patient.
12. Try the healthy eating thing.
Healthy eating isn't just for the people who want to lose weight; it's for anyone who wants to feel better. It doesn't mean you have to give up that pizza, ice cream, or french fries forever, (everyone has to have a good time every now and then) but lessening on the intake of those can make your body function better, which makes you happier.
13. Experiences > things
This is practiced best through gift giving. My family has greatly decreased the number of things we buy for each other and instead, focused on the experiences we can gift that person. Often times it could be going out to eat, out for coffee, or buying tickets to concerts, sports games, and movies. The options are endless, and the result is much more satisfying than a new sweater.
14. Have good eye-contact and a good handshake.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, makes adults respect you more than being able to look them in the eyes and give them a handshake that doesn't feel like a dead fish. It helps make you seem more adult, which equals responsibility and respect. (Plus, it makes you seem older to your peers and more capable to employers).
15. Learn to be content with what you have
For me, that means being content with who I am, how I'm doing, and where I am in life. Life is too short to always be jealous of someone else and to put pressure on yourself to be like everyone you see around you. I don't need perfect hair, I don't need a boyfriend, and I don't need to be validated by others in order to be happy with myself.
16. Don't let people change your opinions, but consider theirs.
It's important to know where you stand with religion and politics because even though they are the worst conversation topics, they will arise. When someone asks you opinion, find your way to state it while being respectful of theirs. Their opinion is not more important than yours, and yours is not more important than theirs. Consider their side, state yours, and move on.
17. Don't to pretend to enjoy things just because your friends do.
I don't like the Office, I don't really care about any other sport except football, and I honestly have no desire to party. With that being said, my friends and I find other shows to watch (i.e. Friends), I still support my basketball-playing friends (JODIIII JOHNSONNN), and I still have fun even though I'm not out with some of my friends on the weekends. It's okay to try those things, but once you find out you don't like them, don't force yourself through them constantly.
18. Sometimes you have to work the job you hate to get to the job you'll love.
Yeah, maybe working at a library during the summer isn't my favorite thing in the world, but I need the money, and I love the people I work with. In the long run, I'll be so thankful I worked there part-time because it has given me the resources to do the things I actually want to do.
I won't pretend like everything I've just written is full of newfound ideas, but I do think they're all good points that everyone needs to hear more often, and personally, they are all points I've been working this past 365 days on.
