Stage 1: The Alarm
6:59 a.m. The last 60 seconds of peaceful sleep before... *BEEP BEEP* There it is--that annoying alarm. Rolling over you look at your phone and the alarm reads "GAME DAY!!!!" Hauling yourself out of bed you run around the house waking the rest of your roommates up by blaring the gamecock signature Sandstorm.
Stage 2: The Sprint
Now that everyone has awoken from their slumber, you realize your princess of a roommate takes 45-minute long showers. You haul ass towards the back of the house and make it into the shower. Warm water and the smell of Herbal Essence... It doesn't get much better than that.
Stage 3: Blow-dry, Primp and Prep
Time to get yourself all pretty and perfect for the countless game day pictures that are to come.
Stage 4: The Necessities
Chick-Fil-A, Bojangles, or the left over pizza in the fridge? That's the real question of the day... Thinks "I'm broke." Eats pizza for breakfast to prepare for the liquid calories that are soon to be consumed.
Stage 5: Shiv Run
You can't start a Carolina noon game without a Shiv run and mimosas. Shiv has a plethora of poisons of which you can choose from. My personal favorite is the $8 Andres brute champagne. Classy and never trashy my friends.
Stage 6: Pregame the Pregame
Mimosas? It may be 9:30, but its totally 5 o'clock somewhere... *Finishes the bottle*
Stage 7: Time to Venture into the Great Abyss
Frat lot: a tailgate, big or small, filled with obnoxious, inebriated college students (and the occasional drunk parent) in celebration of the weekly sacred Saturday dedicated to football.
TIME TO THROW DOWN, WE'RE FRAT LOT BOUND!!!!
1 sip, 2 sip, 3 sip, floor.
Stage 8: The Recovery
Looking down at your phone after partaking in slapping the bag, you go to take a video of your best friend dancing on a makeshift stage with some southern cutie, you realize it's 12:26 p.m... Second quarter... Take off running for the stadium because you can't afford to have your ticketing revoked.
Stage 9: The Game
The student section is filled. The rowdy young adults are screaming "(insert obscenity) CLEMSON" even if we aren't playing them and the white towels are waving. GO COCKS!!!
Stage 10: Self-loathing
10/10 we've probably lost the game... But there's a motto here in Cola amongst us "youngins"-- If we win we drink, but if we lose there's only one way to sooth the pain-- drink more. Back to the tailgates.
Stage 11: Time to G O, LET'S GO!
You've been intoxicated since 9:30 a.m. and now its actually 5 o'clock, though Margaritaville may be tempting, your bed is calling your name. You uber back to your house and you are out on the couch faster than your middle school relationships.
Stage 12: The Reawakening
You roll over and fall off the couch. Startled and in pain you go to plug your phone in that's been dead for hours. The white apple appears and the time reads 10:33 p.m. ... You contemplate going out and decide that your bed sounds a little better. You manage to stumble over to your room and lights out.
