I remember when I was younger thinking there would be a day where I crossed the beguiling threshold from “adulting” to the real deal. I’ve come to the realization that such a moment doesn’t exist. What actually happens is a series of misguided attempts to navigate the anomaly that is life. I adore the term adulting. It highlights the act as a process rather than a stringent depiction of what being an adult should encompass. I’ve reflected on some of the ways I believe I improved at this adulting business throughout my twenties in hopes that it may inspire someone else.

1. Get on your own health insurance plan & became familiar with your policy.

This takes work, I won’t lie. I remember looking into policies, EOBs, and establishing my PCP/other doctors within my network. While it may seem daunting, I have to say it was one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had as a young adult. I remember last year being wrongly billed for an expensive MRI and freaking out when the scary “FINAL NOTICE” letters appeared in my mailbox. As a poor graduate student, I felt overwhelmed. But I was determined to sort it out. After hours of dealings between the hospital, debt collector, insurance company, and my doctor, I was successful. I remember feeling as if I won a high profile legal case. It was so glorious to finally understand all the legal jargon, what my benefits were, and the appropriate payees of that deluded medical bill. Now I’m more informed of the world of insurance policies, how the health care system functions, and the benefits I’m entitled to than my parents.

2. Fall in love with cooking.

I was always able to cook, at least minimally. I could make pasta and other easy dishes and follow some recipes. Over the last 3 years I’ve developed a love affair with cooking. As a vegetarian and a pretty health conscious person, it felt amazing to make myself healthy food. Now I’m a little foodie who gets creative and cooks for friends and family. It’s become a hobby of mine. I know some people may not find cooking to be enjoyable, but give it a try. Get a glass of wine, put on some of your favorite music, and try a new recipe. You’ll be surprised at how accomplished you feel. Eating healthy, homemade meals will also save you money and keep you feeling your best. It’s been a cornerstone for me to function at my best during graduate school.

3. Develop a sleep routine.

Everyone knows you should aim for 7-8 hours of sleep. But what’s even more important is establishing a routine to prepare the body and mind for sleep. An hour of no screen time (TV, phone, laptop, tablet, etc.) is ideal before bed. If you’re just starting out you can do 20 minutes, then try to progress as the weeks go on. Try reading a real book before bed. Another way to relax, meditation/mindfulness. I always try to do at least 10-15 minutes of meditation to calm my mind for sleep (and 10-15 minutes in the morning before I start my day). Essential oils, such as lavender, can be calming and relaxing. I have a sleep time essential oil rub that I use on my temples and wrists before bed and it’s heavenly.

4. Take control of your financial situation.

Develop credit. Have a savings (that you actually put money into). Pay your bills on time. Budget. Prioritize. Be smart about your loans and their interest rates. Keep a general sense of how much you’re spending each month vs. how much you need to pay your bills and how much you’d like to save. There’s nothing exciting about this one. You just need to buckle down and do it.

5. Organize everything.

I mean it. Everything. My label maker is my best friend. Get rid of old papers and junk you don’t need. Organize your documents into folders. Minimalize your life, especially your living area. Clean out junk drawers. De-clutter. Get rid of all those half used bottles of bathroom products you’ve collected in the shower. Basically any nook and cranny you don’t want to deal with, deal with it. Keeping the physical space around you organized will help you feel organized.

6. Establish an exercise/self-care routine.

Find what type of exercise works for you. Don’t force yourself into classes or gym dates that you can’t stand. Try a few different ways to exercise until you find something you truly enjoy. For me, I love practicing yoga, cycling, working out with my dog, and taking full body barre classes. I make time to treat myself to the occasional pedicure and massage. I get my eyebrows waxed. I take a hot bath with a glass of wine and my favorite book. I meditate. I relax. Find little ways to treat yourself and make yourself feel good. I deserve it and so do you.

7. Accept that networking is a thing you have to do.

Just like paying the bills, networking is just another evil of adulthood. Sometimes it can be wonderful and fun. Sometimes you painstakingly have to make small talk with someone who is extremely annoying. If you’re interested in the professional world, networking is necessary.

8. Revamp your wardrobe: quality over quantity.

Less is more. You don’t need to have 3984239874 items of clothing just to have them. Find pieces you love. Clothes that make you feel good, comfortable, and assist with self-expression. Especially when it comes to shoes, jeans, or nicer clothes, it’s always better to have good quality items that will last than 20 crappy pieces that will end up in the goodwill bag next year. For instance, I invested in a pair of Berkinstocks and Rainbows and those are literally the only 2 pair of everyday sandals I own. My feet are happy and my wallet will be happy for years to come.

9. Decide to live in the moment.

Anxiety creeps in when we’re focused on the past or the present. Live in the moment. Enjoy it. Embrace your beautiful life and the people in it. Don’t sweat the small stuff or worry what anyone else thinks. Find a minute to be thankful and grateful for what you have every single day. Find time to laugh. Laughter is the best medicine.

10. Surround yourself with the best people.

Friendship is about quality not quantity. Focusing your energy on the people who will help foster deep, authentic friendships is important to the human experience. True friends challenge us, inspire us, and support us throughout our best and worst moments in life. They fill our lives with meaningful experiences and love. Don’t worry about collecting a bunch of friends, just nurture the truest relationships that bring you happiness.

Happy adulting twenty-somethings!