I've always had bad dreams about Vincent and me since the day we started dating. They've always been different variations of Vincent breaking up with me. Being a psych major, I related this to my earthly fear of him breaking up with me in real life. (I've never had a relationship last longer than 5 months before Vincent—we've been dating for ten months).
Every time I would tell Vincent, "babe I had a really bad dream about us and it felt so real" and he would comfort me and tell me it never happened and that he would never do that in real life.
But this time was different.
Vincent tried to break up with me once, and I wouldn't let him, and I defended his reasons.
He was successful the next time. I later found out that he had been cheating on me. He had also broken up the relationship with the girl he cheated on me with. (She was dating someone too). He home-wrecked their relationship and he broke up with me for this. And he had apparently liked her for a long time. The whole time we were dating and everything.
He told me things he didn't like about me, things he never liked. He lied. He betrayed me. Vincent had never cheated on me in my dreams before. What was worse besides that was that I had to see them making out.
The feeling of being betrayed, the feeling of loss, the feeling of complete devastation and defeat, I cried constantly. I cried until no more sound could come out. I was COMPLETELY NON-STOP WAILING. Never stopped for a second. Everyone pitied me.
I wanted everyone to know what a monster he was. I posted a status on Facebook about what he did and tagged him in it. Then the dream popped.
It didn't happen, it didn't happen.
I think because this is the best and longest relationship I've had, my psyche is trying to trip me. My demons are telling me I'm not enough. But I just have to do my best. To trust.