The Worst Dream I've Ever Had About My Boyfriend And Me

The Worst Dream I've Ever Had About My Boyfriend And Me

Last night I had the absolute worst dream about Vincent and I.

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I've always had bad dreams about Vincent and me since the day we started dating. They've always been different variations of Vincent breaking up with me. Being a psych major, I related this to my earthly fear of him breaking up with me in real life. (I've never had a relationship last longer than 5 months before Vincent—we've been dating for ten months).

Every time I would tell Vincent, "babe I had a really bad dream about us and it felt so real" and he would comfort me and tell me it never happened and that he would never do that in real life.

But this time was different.

Vincent tried to break up with me once, and I wouldn't let him, and I defended his reasons.

He was successful the next time. I later found out that he had been cheating on me. He had also broken up the relationship with the girl he cheated on me with. (She was dating someone too). He home-wrecked their relationship and he broke up with me for this. And he had apparently liked her for a long time. The whole time we were dating and everything.

He told me things he didn't like about me, things he never liked. He lied. He betrayed me. Vincent had never cheated on me in my dreams before. What was worse besides that was that I had to see them making out.

The feeling of being betrayed, the feeling of loss, the feeling of complete devastation and defeat, I cried constantly. I cried until no more sound could come out. I was COMPLETELY NON-STOP WAILING. Never stopped for a second. Everyone pitied me.

I wanted everyone to know what a monster he was. I posted a status on Facebook about what he did and tagged him in it. Then the dream popped.

It didn't happen, it didn't happen.

I think because this is the best and longest relationship I've had, my psyche is trying to trip me. My demons are telling me I'm not enough. But I just have to do my best. To trust.

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You've Heard Of 'How To Be Single,' But Let's Talk About 'How To Be Romantic'

For some of us, it takes work to be cutesy and romantic.

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Okay, I'm probably the least romantic person anyone has ever met. Not to say that I'm a bad girlfriend or that I'm not caring. I just find love in simple things like knowing what to order for them at restaurants, doing their laundry, planning unique dates, or cooking for them. It's not that I'm opposed to being arduous, I've just never been a chocolate and flowers kind of girl. I'm more of a Mongolian hot pot and "let's walk across the Brooklyn Bridge!" kind of girl. I appreciate some effort, tailoring something to fit a person's idiosyncratic personality or general spontaneity, not how flowery something looks. Not saying that I'm not feminine, I'm just my own entity, so to speak, and that translates into my love life. Needless to say, I thought I should learn how the other half lives, so I've challenged myself to take a course on being a classic/hopeless romantic just to understand how others think and who knows I might change some of my habits!

1. Leave notes

I think it's a really cute and simple idea that I will try to do because it makes everything very personal.

2. Write them a poem

I've had this done for me but I've never actually done it, because believe it or not, I didn't like to read or write poems up until this year.

3. Cuddling

Okay, so I'm not a cuddler, I have no idea why — it's more or less a personal space and attachment issue, I guess. I love hugs though! I guess I just have to be in the mood to cuddle and at times I can be. Other times it just makes me nervous.

4. Dedicate a song to them on the radio

It seems like the people on the radio that do this are crazy in love and honestly, to be able to have the ability to go on the radio and just declare your love for someone else is really inspiring.

5. Surprise them!

I personally cannot stand surprises, but I love to surprise other people and just be spontaneous, so I sort of do this already.

6. Carve your names into a tree

I've thought about doing this, but I've never got around to it, so I promise one day I will.

7. Go see a romantic movie

Nope, nope, I'll barf! Not happening, strictly horror movies for this girl, sorry!

8. Make them a care package

See, this makes me think a lot about what really defines romantic, because I do this all the time, but I don't consider it romantic, I just think it's sweet.

9. Take a walk on the beach together

I've done this, but I have to be doing this while looking for seashells or I feel like I'll be bored.

10. Make a CD for them

"THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER," CHARLIE IS QUAKING.

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A Letter To My College Roommate, As The Semester Comes To An End

Thank you for making being away from home feel like home.

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It's crazy to think that I'm only one month away from having completed my freshman year at Stony Brook University. Going into this year, I was excited about the possibilities that lay ahead of me, but also nervous of venturing into the unknown. It was my first time living away from home and I was going with only two friends from high school.

I found my roommate the spring of my senior year, when she sent me a follow request on Instagram. Seeing that she was going to Stony Brook, I accepted and DMed her. It was only a few conversations later, but I now had a roommate.

Having never had a roommate before, I was a little anxious going into my first week of college. What if we didn't get along? What if she's weird? What if she thinks I'm weird? Questions plagued my mind and I tried to convince myself that everyone was going to be okay. Now, eight months later, I can happily say that not only is everything fine, but it's great. I'm honestly so glad that I ended up rooming with the girl I did because I don't think I would've survived freshman year without her.

Navigating through college is difficult, especially if you don't have a strong support system. While I always knew that I could count on my family for any problems I had, it wasn't as easy to talk to them when we were two hours apart. Being able to room with someone who understood me, though, made being away from home so much easier.

Not only is she smart and funny, but she's a great listener. I can't even begin to count the number of late night conversations we've had over these past months, sitting on our beds eating icies from the Market at West Side and talking about anything and everything. My roommate has become one of my go-tos, and I can always count on her to be there for me.

I'm so thankful for her, and I can't wait for our second year as roommates. Here's to going into sophomore year with an amazing friend.

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