An unfortunate truth but nonetheless still a reality; nearly everyone has had to say goodbye to someone very special to them in their life. Whether it be a relative, a friend, or a very rare soul, learning to cope with the tragic passing of a loved one is something we all must face and conquer at some point.
Can you still remember the last words you spoke to each other? Do you still think about the things you wish you could go back and change? The answer is yes, all the time; the words and thoughts run through your head everyday.
But should they? Should you be letting yourself continually fall back into love with the person you lost, only to remind you of the pain of losing them all over again?
These delicate words play a game that no one should ever have to participate in. Having to experience the pain of unexpected loss is a tragedy that strikes many people. I could waste space on explaining the amount of people affected by such grief but the impact is clear-- losing someone unexpectedly is the nuclear bomb that keeps on exploding.
Time may be able to heal all wounds, but it’s also a culprit for reopening scars. When you lose someone that you never expected to say goodbye to, time is not on your side. At first you believe you’ll get used to their absence and for awhile, you think you’ve reached acceptance, that all the pain has been delivered and received. But the cruel reality is that time doesn’t stop and life carries on without them, and only brings new reminders to their death. These punishments all come in different, sneaky forms of life. Finding their old things, passing their favorite restaurants, catching a glimpse of someone that for whatever reason, so strongly reminds you of them. These moments bring back thoughts of grief, pain, and the urgent wish to see them standing across from you again. But what you must learn to understand is that these moments should not bring reminders of pain, but of happiness.
Like all things, people come and go. What we must be grateful for however, is the fact that their spirit and memory can live on. And this is what comes to us when we cross paths with reminders of our lost loved ones. Seeing someone that reminds you of them should make you smile. Finding their old clothes should be a blessing to have and hold something “new” of theirs. You can learn to celebrate the things that remind you of their absence, only to further strengthen your love for their past presence.
It may take some time to adopt these perspectives, but it also may be one of the best strategies to cope without grief and in the end, remind you of the person you were lucky enough to have known and loved in the first place.
