I want to travel. If nobody has noticed, and I mean the people that know me pretty well, I have wanderlust. I've had it running through my veins ever since I truly realized that there was a world out there. I would read about it, watch movies about it, hear people talk about their incredible travels from around the world, to different countries and how they were able to make new friends across the globe and hear these individual's stories - and how they seemed so different in contrast with theirs.

And then I remember reading Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants, and how Lena got to travel to Greece for the summer, and I envied that so much. It sounded so beautiful. So, when I was twelve, I bought a globe of the world, and I drew a circle on the country Greece with a permanent black marker. I wrote about how I was going to move from little Wisconsin and off to Greece. I even started to pack my bags - that's when I was at my maximum dreamer level. I knew that I wasn't going to end up anywhere, but I packed my bags, wrote about how I was going to leave really soon and even told my mom I was planning on taking a boat to Europe. Who knows if she thought I was really serious or not, but looking back, it sounds silly. I've always wanted to get away and seek out new places that I had never been to, but only had heard about. My heart soared and it craved something brand new to wrap itself around. I was bored, and I eventually started to create plans to travel other places besides Greece. I wanted a summer home in Italy, and I wanted to see Australia. I envied the people in movies who were in Spain, or Hawaii. Things only seemed real in my dreams, or in my stories that created.


Ten years later and I want to travel more than ever. I want to soak in the various cultures, I want to be immersed in a new cultivation - I want to be enlightened and feel free. The word "wanderlust" isn't something simple to me. In fact, I hold it very close to me - literally, too. I have a tattoo on my side that says "wanderlust" in typewriter font. I don't think humans are meant to stay in one place. I think they're meant to go out there and explore and create their own adventures. They're meant to see new things and meet new people and exchange stories and awaken their being. (Yes, I kind of sound like a hippie right now) Right now, I'm excited, because there is this thing that I can do. Right now.

I want to study abroad in Scotland.

My adviser on campus brought it up to me, and I had always considered it here and there in the past years. However, I didn't think I could afford it, so I left the idea alone and continued dreaming, making excuses for myself and hoping that someday when I was older, I would get to seeing the world. But something clicked the other week . . . and that was "Why wait now? Why limit yourself???" I want to go to Scotland, and it's going to be great. I don't know too much about Scotland, but I've seen pictures and videos and it is absolutely gorgeous. Also, I'm part Scottish, so that's kind of cool. It's a step, I think. And I really believe that it could be a life changing experience.

I have nothing to lose. I mean, if I do lose anything, it's just money. I know that it will be expensive, but I don't care. I am not being ignorant or immature or childish - I really want to go, and if that means risking a lot financially, then so be. I would rather have a semester of complete bliss and then be broke, then play it on the safe side and not make this dream a reality in my college experience. In the end, money doesn't matter. Yeah, I'm going to have to pay back student loans, pay off bills, eventually get that apartment next year, pay for my car and my phone, all that fun stuff . . . but if other people can go, I should be able to go to.

It will be an enlightening experience. Because I have depression and anxiety, I tend to have a negative outlook on a lot of things. It's not because I purposely want to see things in a pessimistic light, but that it's difficult to see the world in a different perspective when all you truly seem to know, is being sad, let down or lacking self-esteem. I need to know that there is more out there, and I need to see that it's real. I think if I go, I'll witness first-hand that there is so much life has to offer than what I am going through right now. Personally, I think I deserve it. If I go on this trip, it'll open my eyes and remind me that life isn't as bleak as it seems to me right now. It'll help me to understand certain things that I didn't before . . . it will help me be grateful for what I do have, and that anything is possible.

I can write to my heart's content. Traveling inspires me, and when I will be in a different place like Scotland, the new sights and adventures will give me plenty to write about because I will be so stimulated by my surroundings . . . so exhilarated and energetic to write. I think this is extremely important considering I want to pursue my writing, and I want to be a college professor. I will also be far away from my "reality" that it will give me time to think, and when that will happen . . . well, I will start to get different perspectives on things that I didn't understand well before. This trip will open up my mind in a whole new way, and I think I will start to view the world in a new light. Maybe I'll write something I have never dared to write before. And maybe, I'll discover something surprising about myself.

I can meet new people and possibly make life long friends that can teach me more than I do now, or than I ever will. I think it's neat to become close with someone who sees the world in a different aspect, because they were brought up in a different culture. Becoming friends with someone from a different country, can help you really learn a lot - from each other.


It will look good to potential careers. They will be impressed with my branching out, willing to see new sights, and will be happy that I took advantage of the studying abroad feat. They'll take me seriously when I tell them that I want to understand people, and that I want to be a writer and a professor. Traveling is important for writers I think, because they need to become worldly, and understand their surroundings - and not just where they are from, but to understand other places in the world, too. They need to obtain a good outlook on all places across the globe.


I have wanderlust, and I have to release that, get rid of that. At least for the time being, to hold me over until I can travel across the entire world. Anyone with the case of "wanderlust blues" knows that it's painful, and when you sense that urge in your heart and your mind, you have to let it all go and just take advantage of the opportunities right in front of you. I want to do that. I think this sensation of needing to see the world is a good thing, and it's a sign that I truly deserve this.

It's cheaper right now when I am in college, and I'm pretty sure it's going to get more expensive when I graduate and officially become a member of the "real adult world". This is affiliated with school, so I am sure I can try and get scholarships, or pay off this experience with loans. I know I make it sound really cavalier, but I'll be getting more information on it in the following days. All I know is that it makes sense, and I want to do this right now when the opportunity is right at my fingertips - I just need to find out more so I can make this real. And importantly, I want to do this while I am young and in college. Just, something about that makes this possible trip more exciting and adventurous. I want to be apart of it right now, and I want to feel that euphoria right now.

I really don't want anyone to stop me, nor do I want them to discourage me and put my dreams on hold just on the account of "saving money" or playing it safe. What I am doing isn't silly - it's a little spontaneous, yes, but it's also an incredible opportunity to broaden my horizons and flourish within new boundaries . . . with a new perspective on life, people and earth itself. I don't want to regret not doing this, and when you do it in your twenties, it seems that much more intoxicating, exhilarating. I want to look back and tell my future students that I did study abroad, and encourage them to do the same thing as well. I of course haven't done it yet, but I am certain it's a unique endeavor.

I truly hope to get there.

P.S. I want to travel because nobody will know who I am. :)