This past spring, I made the seemingly controversial decision to turn my read receipts on for my iMessages. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal until I received messages of inquiry and occasionally scrutiny at my decision. I didn’t know that having read receipts on was such a big deal; all it does is tell the other person when you’ve read their message. Why is it so important to have them turned off? Do we all need to be so secretive in our lives that we can’t have the other person possibly know that we’ve read their message and not responded to them? Personally, I like having my read receipts on because it just makes way more sense to have them turned on.
There are a handful of reasons for why I’ve changed this setting on my phone. Primarily, I don’t want to have someone I’m texting be freaking out about whether or not I’m ignoring them. I hate texting someone who doesn’t have read receipts on and wondering if they haven’t read my message yet, or if they are ignoring me, especially when the message is important. If they have read my message and chosen to ignore me, I will call if the issue is imperative. If they haven’t read the message because they are busy, then it would be rude for me to call because I might interrupt something where they can’t be on their phone. Having these receipts on clears up this confusion. I spend a lot of my time on the weekends napping, doing homework, or sitting in a movie theater: Three actions that all involve me not having my phone on me. Now, when someone texts me and I don’t respond, they know it’s because I haven’t seen the message and not because I’m being obnoxiously passive-aggressive toward them for some reason.
The other reason for having my read receipts on is if for some reason I do want to be annoyingly passive aggressive towards someone and ignore any messages they may send me, I want them to know about it. I’m not going to be that childish person who is going to ignore someone and torture them by making them wonder if I am actually ignoring them or if I simply haven’t read the message. If I am going to ignore you, I want it to be blatantly clear that I am because it gets my point across easier and then the recipient of my passive aggressive actions isn’t filled with confusion and paranoia.
When discussing this concept with my friend, he gave me the only valid reason I’ve ever heard for having the receipts turned off: Sometimes he reads a message and forgets to answer it for a few minutes, but doesn’t want the other person to feel like their being ignored by him when in reality it’s just his ADD kicking in, causing him to be distracted by something before he gets a chance to respond. This is the only validation I’ve heard for not having read receipts on that doesn’t revolve around not wanting people to know when you’re ignoring them. Even this reasoning, however, isn’t the best in my opinion. Historically, I’ve been a very bad texter because I often read a message, assume I’ll respond in a couple minutes and then completely forget to do so. With the knowledge that my read receipts on and because I don’t want someone to think I’m ignoring them, it makes me more proactive in responding to messages I read right away. I have become a much better texter since turning my receipts on and if for some reason I still get distracted and forget to respond for a few minutes, I can just be honest, apologize, and explain to the person that I had gotten distracted. It’s not a difficult thing to do and is a calming response to reading if you’re on the other side of this situation.
I’m about to enter my senior year of college, and soon I’ll be heading out into the real world, whether it be a job or graduate school. I’ll be a full-fledged adult with real life responsibilities and priorities. It’s time in my life that I stop with the childish mind games that can come about from not having read receipts on and be upfront with the people I interact with. Having my read receipts on doesn’t mean I’m a hipster or that I want to get attention for being different. It just means I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t see the point in having them turned off anymore, and I think everyone’s interactions with their friends, group project partners, or acquaintances will be a lot better if we all adapt this idea. I promise it won't destroy your relationships or friendships like so many people think it will.
